


The Vulnerability Collection

by Lifeshandful



Series: Seal Team Collection [4]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Emotions, Family, Gen, Love, Memories, Sharing, Team as Family, Vulnerability, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 98,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeshandful/pseuds/Lifeshandful
Summary: A collection of vulnerabilities.
Series: Seal Team Collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668844
Comments: 106
Kudos: 139





	1. Roped Into – Jason Hayes

**_ Roped Into – Jason Hayes _ **

Jason smiled softly as he looked across into the lounge watching as Jameelah and RJ played on the floor with a set of brightly coloured building blocks, or rather Jameelah was building towers for RJ to knock over which he was doing with squeals of happiness. It had been years since Jason’s children were little but he could still fondly recall watching them playing just as he was watching Ray’s children now. How he had been roped into babysitting was still slightly beyond him but Naima had asked him as a last resort as her mother had fallen ill, and he just could not say no as he knew how much both she and Ray were looking forward to the afternoon garden party that they were going on, or rather Naima was and Ray just wanted to make his wife happy. It was a function that was put on by the hospital once a year, and for the past several years Ray had missed it due to one thing or another.

“Uncle Jason?” Jameelah’s little voice bought Jason out of his musing as he looked back over to her to see her looking over at him intently.

“Yeah sweetheart?” Jason replied as he picked up the two kiddie cups that had been filled with apple juice then managed to juggle his own mug of coffee into his other hand before he walked back over to join them in the lounge.

“Can we watch a movie after dinner?” Jameelah was the spitting image of Naima and it had him shaking his head as just like Naima he could not say ‘no’ to her.

“If you and RJ eat all of your dinner then yes we can. One movie only though, and you and your brother have to both agree on what we are watching.” Jason was firm recalling the way Emma and Mikey would argue over what movie to watch, they still did on occasion, despite the age gap that was between them.

Jason smiled as both kids nodded and he sat down on the couch as they resumed their game happily. It was a few minutes later when Jason glanced down at his watch to look at the time as he knew Naima liked the kids to stay to a routine although sometimes the life of a Navy family got in the way of that. “You two have another twenty minutes left of playing then it’s time to read while I make us some dinner.” Jason recalled Naima stating that the kids were to read while he reheated the meal that she had made for them – lasagna and a side salad – and that the kids had to eat all of the food that she portioned them out.

RJ gave Jason a gummy smile as he took the bright big yellow block and hurled it at the tower that Jameelah had constructed before he threw his little arms up in the air as if he had scored. “That fun bud?” Jason found himself sliding down onto the floor with the children.

RJ giggled as Jason reached out and tickled his stomach before he caught Jason’s large calloused hand in both of his. “Uncle W’ason!” RJ’s little mispronunciation made Jason smile as the ‘J’ came out as a ‘W’.

“What do you say buddy to me and Jameelah building you a really big tower that you can knock down?” Jason had eyed the blocks and done a quick count knowing that between the two of them they could make a really big tower using every block except one that would be used to knock it down.

RJ’s eyes went wide and twinkled with mischief as he nodded hurriedly as his hands squeezed Jason’s hand that still remained on his stomach. Yeah, I am sure going to hear about this, Jason thought ruefully as he was sure that this would not be the only time that one giant tower was built and knocked down. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, pwease…” RJ was practically vibrating with excitement.

Jameelah looked at her Uncle Jason and giggled as he began to tickle RJ again making him squeal in delight.

“Oh, no, don’t think you don’t get tickled.” Jason heard Jameelah’s giggle and before she even realised he was tickling her making her squeal and laugh as she squirmed away from him. He continued until both kids were spent, lying on the floor still laughing and catching their breaths. “Right, lets build this tower.” He moved to pick up a couple of the blocks once he was sure that both of the kids had settled down.

Jameelah scrambled to sit up as there was nothing more she liked than making her brother smile and laugh. “How?” The wide eyed look had Jason hook, line and sinker.

Jason reached out and picked up the first block then placed it down on the floor in between all of them before he added another two on top of it then added a second tower right beside it. “We stack them up in two rows just like I have done until we run out of blocks. Might not be a castle or a wall like you have been building but it should fall down pretty well.”

Jameelah picked up a block and carefully set it on top of the row that was closest to her with the tip of her tongue sticking out from between her lips as she focused intently on the task at hand as she and Jason stacked block by block.

“Now?” RJ asked ready to lob a brick at the tall towers as he looked up at Jason wide eyed.

“We haven’t got all the blocks up yet.” Jameelah shook her head as she reached up on her tip toes to put the next block up on top of the row.

“Not to many more bud then you can.” Jason ruffled RJ’s hair with his hand as he handed the last two blocks to Jameelah for her row before he put the last two blocks on his so they were evenly matched.

“Wow!” Jameelah’s face matched RJ’s as they both looked at the tall rows of blocks with wonder.

Jason shuffled back on his butt and pulled RJ up into his lap before Jameelah moved to sit beside him and he wrapped his arm around her letting her cuddle into his side. “Ready?” He asked both kids although it was not hard to see that RJ was ready to knock down the tall stacks.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” RJ chanted although he had yet to throw the block mainly because Jason had a light hold of the block so it could not go flying before it was meant to especially with the excitement induced flailing that he was doing.

Jameelah nodded softly as she settled further into his side. “Alright bud, when you are ready, throw it.” Jason instructed as he let go of the block that RJ held.

RJ hesitated for only the briefest of seconds before he let the block go, flying through the air until it made direct contact with the mass of blocks sending them tumbling down everywhere. RJ’s little arms flung up in the air and Jason barely managed to lean back enough to avoid getting a small hand to his face while Jameelah clapped and praised her little brother’s effort.

“Think we might have ourselves a demolition expert sweetheart.” Jason smiled at the unadulterated joy on the kids faces at something that was so simple.

“Again, again!” RJ contorted his small body to turn and look up at Jason from his lap wanting to knock over another tall lot of blocks.

Jason glanced at his watch knowing that they had exceeded the twenty minutes and that he should follow the schedule that Naima had laid out although he was not quite ready for it to stop either. “One more then we have to clean up all the blocks and put them away.” He relented easily as he leaned forward without upsetting RJ and began to stack the blocks back up that were within his reach as Jameelah moved to gather and stack the blocks herself. It was nice to have experienced the joy and wonder that young children got from the simplest things again and Jason found himself comforted by the fact that Ray’s children could have that.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason was surprised when RJ had picked Finding Nemo as the movie he wanted to watch but then he recalled Ray saying something about RJ going through a phase that had him wanting to go to the local aquarium all the time to see the fish, but he was even more surprised when Jameelah happily agreed to it. Jason had made sure that both of the kids had washed up, got changed into their pyjamas, and had brushed their teeth before he had started the movie as he doubted they would make it through the entire film as he had let their playtime go for a lot longer which had resulted in no reading time and a rushed dinner.

Somehow Jason had ended up with RJ curled up in his lap with his head rested back against his chest while his arm was wrapped around Jameelah as she was curled up into his side with a blanket draped over her only moments after it had started playing. Jason had the overwhelming urge to text both Emma and Mikey but decided to wait until he was relieved of his babysitting duties as being with Ray’s children made him miss his own and made him reminiscent of days gone by when they were little and Alana was alive. The thought of Alana made his heart clench and unbeknownst to him he tightened his arms around both children bringing them closer to him.

Jason turned his focus back to the movie playing as he did not want to think about Alana and when Emma and Mikey were little and the family nights that would have them tucked up on the couch. Simply put, it hurt to think about those memories knowing that it was never something that he or his children would have again. RJ clapped lightly and glanced up at him quickly as the scene where all of the fish in the tank in the dentist’s office came on. Jason shifted his eyes from the screen to RJ seeing the little boy’s joy at all the fish before he looked over at Jameelah who was not paying attention to the movie but to her little brother with a broad toothy smile gracing her face.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray placed his hand across Naima’s lower back as they walked up the drive once the cab had dropped them off. Naima stopped and turned into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck as she pressed her body against his feeling as his arms snaked around her waist holding her close. It was much later than either of them had expected to be home as the afternoon garden party had dragged on into the night with leftovers and alcohol flowing although both had abstained from having any more than two drinks.

“I’m glad I was home and could come with you baby.” Ray rested his forehead against hers having heard about it every year and hating that he could not attend it with her as she desperately hoped each year. He knew how much Naima loved this particular event; it was one of the few that she attended each year. Ray had spent the afternoon in awe of his wife, not that he was not in awe of her everyday, but he had watched her talk and laugh and he swore she lit up the entire room or rather the garden. Even the flowers did not look as radiant as she did. And he loved how she would glance back over her shoulder or scan the crowd to meet his eyes or send him a smile or blow him a kiss.

Naima smiled softly having enjoyed the time with her husband. “Me too honey.” She pecked his lips softly wishing the night could have lasted longer but she knew they had already blindsided Jason last minute with babysitting and they were a lot later than they had said they would be. “We really should go inside and let Jason go home.” She spoke softly already feeling Ray tighten his grip around her, and what she did not admit was that she would be happy to kick her heels off as her feet were aching.

“They will be in bed, and Jason will be on the couch, probably asleep.” Ray did not doubt Jason’s ability to look after his children after all the man handled Sonny and Clay, and faced terrorists on a regular basis. And Jason had spent more than one night on his couch over the years.

Naima laughed softly kissing Ray again before she turned her head towards the house seeing that the lights were still on which meant Jason was most likely up and not sleeping as Ray had proposed. “Let’s put it this way, the sooner we get Jason home, the sooner I get you out of that suit and you get me out of this dress.” She knew just what to say to get Ray looking at the house instead of her.

Ray smiled broadly. “Let’s get inside.” He unwrapped himself from her although left his hand settled on her back once more.

Naima and Ray walked smoothly up the path, and Ray unlocked and opened the door before he let Naima into the house first. The silence that greeted them had them sharing a look. He paused as he watched his wife stop, reach down and slip off her heels before she held them in her hand. “Feet sore honey?” He asked not having missed the look of relief that crossed her face albeit briefly.

“I don’t wear heels all that often.” Naima answered before she continued into the lounge although she stopped immediately knowing that Ray was only a step or two behind her.

Ray frowned at his wife’s abrupt stop before he moved to her side and saw what she was seeing. Jason was on the couch asleep just as he had predicted but what he had not thought of was that Jason would have RJ snuggled into his chest while Jameelah was pressed tightly into his side, and all three of them sleeping soundly.

It was not often that Naima saw Jason look so peaceful, and she had seen him asleep plenty of times before on her couch but this time the strings of her heart were pulled. There was something so sweet about the way Jason had each of his arm’s draped protectively around RJ and Jameelah, holding them close to his body. It did not take Naima long to figure out that they had been watching a movie as the disc menu for Finding Nemo was still up on the screen and they had fallen asleep.

“Should we leave them or put the kids to bed and leave Jason on the couch?” Naima asked deferring to Ray for his guidance although she had her own idea.

Ray weighed up both options however he knew that if they did not move the kids then Jason would wake up sore because of the way they were tucked into him. “You get RJ and I will get Jameelah.” Ray decided knowing that Jason would most likely wake up once the kids were moved from his grasp. There was a reason why Ray had selected to take Jameelah while Naima grabbed RJ and it was because his wife had a knack for moving RJ without waking him up as he was a relatively light sleeper whereas Jameelah was a heavy sleeper.

Naima knelt down and put her heels down on the carpet before she stood back to her full height and moved forward to get RJ with Ray next to her. She reached out, gently placed her hand on Jason’s arm and moved it off of RJ before she gathered her son up in her arms and cradled him to her chest as she watched Ray do the same to their daughter. However Ray moving Jameelah roused Jason.

Jason felt as the warmth that was against his body left and he rolled his neck to the side before he opened his eyelids, blinking to clear his vision a few times, and he panicked when he realised that neither of the kids were cuddled into him.

“It’s alright Jason.” Naima kept her voice soft as she swayed lightly to keep RJ asleep having seen the moment panic enveloped Jason as he realised that Jameelah was gone from his side. She knew how the men reacted at times having had enough experience with her own husband.

Jason raised his hand up and scrubbed at his eyes before he dropped it down to his mouth stifling a yawn as he looked up at Naima then to Ray. “Sorry, what time is it?” He pushed himself up wearily as he could not recall when he had fallen asleep although he knew that the film had not finished.

“It’s late brother.” Ray juggled Jameelah in his arms to glance at his watch. “Almost 11.”

“Let’s get the kids to bed Ray. Jason stay put while we do.” Naima left no room for him to protest as she was already making her way out of the room with RJ wanting to get him tucked up into his bed.

Ray smiled at his wife’s bossiness knowing that Jason would listen to her as he followed after her with Jameelah.

Jason yawned again before he leaned forward with his elbows on top of his knees and turned off the television as the bright glare was a struggle on his eyes that were still half lidded. He had no idea why he was so tired all of a sudden but he had to admit that he had been in a deep sleep before he had woken up. As much as he had enjoyed looking after Ray’s kids he was looking forward to getting home to his own bed and getting some more sleep.

Ray returned to the lounge first having looked in on Naima who was still tucking RJ in seeing Jason hunched over. “You right brother?” He asked softly.

“Yeah I’m good brother. How was your party?” Jason changed the subject as he looked at his watch knowing that it was too late to text Emma and Mikey without making them panic that something was wrong. It would have to wait until the morning if nothing came up.

“It was great brother. Naima loved it.” The way Ray was smiling told Jason that he was happy, and it was good to see him happy.

“That’s good brother, real good.” Jason pushed himself up onto his feet intending to leave them alone for the rest of the night. “I should get going.”

Ray eyed Jason knowing that something was off with his best friend but also knowing him enough to know that he was not ready to share. “Thanks for looking after the kids. I hope they were good.” Ray really did appreciate Jason’s help especially given how last minute it was.

“They were great. Really, Ray, you have two amazing kids.” Jason answered seeing Naima walk back in and wrap her arms around Ray as she rested her chin on his shoulder smiling.

Naima smiled wider as she scrutinised Jason silently but refrained from commenting instead letting Ray handle it. “Thanks Jason.” She spoke softly before she slipped away down the hall leaving the two men.

“Beers tomorrow at the bar?” Ray extended the offer to Jason.

“I will let you know. Night Ray.” With that Jason turned away and walked out of the house, making sure to click the lock on his way out.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason made it home quickly thanks to the lack of traffic given the time of night, and immediately went for the large box of photos that was stored in the bottom of his wardrobe, the ones that had not made it into picture frames and onto display. He dragged the box out and sat down on the floor with it before he opened it and pulled out the first box then removed the lid once it was down on the floor in between his legs.

Jason smiled fondly at the first photograph he pulled out running his thumb over the crinkled corner. It was a photo that he had looked at many times before, one taken many years ago. It was him and Alana and their kids held securely in his arms. He could recall with vivid detail the way Alana smiled up at him when somebody (who he could not recall) offered to take a photo of them as they were at the park on a rear snow day before she lifted both of the kids into his arms and snuggled into his side once she had handed the camera over to the stranger. That snow day was one of Jason’s favourite memories because of all the things that he could still recall vividly – the wonder and excitement in Emma and Mikey’s little eyes, the way Alana’s eyes were bright and her smile beamed as she watched him adoringly play in the snow with their children, the snowmen that they built, and of course the photo they got all because of the kindness of that passing stranger. He let his thumb lightly sweep over Alana’s face wishing he could see her smile and hear her laugh just one more time, he wished he could have another snow day with her and the kids. But of course it was wishful thinking.

Jason sat the photo down on his lap before he pulled out another photo, one that was of Emma reading a book to Mikey who was barely two years old if the caption written in Alana’s handwriting on the back of the photo was any indication. There were so many similarities between Emma and Jameelah, and the way they cared for their little brothers.

Jason set the photo aside then thumbed through a stack of photos before he stopped and pulled out one that caught his eye as he could not recall having ever seen it before. It was a photo of Mikey, aged 4, curled up into his chest asleep while he slept on the couch and from the looks of it Mikey had been sick and Jason had just returned from a spin up as he had scratches to his face. Long gone were the days when he could hold his kids against his chest and let them sleep, and long gone were the days when everything seemed so simple.

Jason rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes as the memories flooded his mind of Alana, Emma and Mikey. He was so caught up in the memories that his brain recalled that he barely registered the door to his house opening.

“Dad?” Emma spoke softly from the safety of the doorframe seeing her father on the floor with his eyes closed. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him but she doubted he was sleeping although he did look like he was at peace.

Jason’s forehead furrowed at the sound of Emma’s voice calling to him having to take a few seconds to work out whether it was real or if his mind was playing a cruel trick on him before he forced his eyelids open to see Emma standing and smiling at him. “Emma! Are you okay? What are you doing home?” The questions tumbled from his lips automatically as it was almost midnight and she was supposed to be in New York studying.

Emma held her hands up with her palms out as she crossed the threshold and moved to sit beside Jason. “I’m fine Dad. I missed you and thought I would come home for a few days in between classes.” She smiled although she wished she had not worried him before she caught the photos that were scattered around. “Trip down memory lane, huh?” She asked reaching into the box for the album that her Mom had made for her and Mikey. She recalled packing all of the albums and loose photos into the box but she could not bare to look at them at the time as the pain was too raw but seeing her Dad look at them made her feel ready to as well.

Jason smiled as he raised his arm and draped it over his daughter’s shoulders as he pulled her closer and kissed her head taking a few seconds to inhale and breathe. “I’ve missed you too Em.” He was in awe of his daughter, of her strength, but then again she was his and Alana’s daughter, and nothing would stop her. “I love you.”

Emma smiled as she turned her neck so she could look up at him and smile before she wiggled around until she was snuggled into his side with her shoes kicked off. “I love you too Dad.”

Jason kissed her forehead once more before he looked down at the album she had picked and was now resting on her lap, and for the life of him he could not recall what was inside that particular album knowing that Alana had taken a lot of time to craft each album. Emma picked it out for a reason. “Why this one Em?” He asked softly as he tapped his finger against the dark blue cover.

Emma knew her father well enough to know that he did not know what was contained within the pages of the particular album that she had picked up but she would not hold it against him instead she was glad that she had surprised him with a visit and made it home to share this with him. “Mom made it to remind us of the family we gained, and how they all love and adore us. It’s our family Dad, it’s your family, the gift that you gave us, and that let us into the other part of your world that you could not always share with us. Mom used to say that Mikey and I, and the others, were special because we gave you and them a peace that you could not get at work. I did not understand what she meant by that for a very long time, well actually I think I only recently began to understand it.” She paused and watched Jason carefully to gauge his reaction seeing him swallow thickly. “I want you to read what Mom wrote to me, to us, please Dad.”

Jason had no idea what Alana had written but having Emma ask him to read it to her made his heart ache. He cleared his throat as it suddenly felt thick. “Let me see Ems.” The way her eyes lit up made his resolve stronger. Emma picked up the book, letting her fingertips run over the cover to feel the embossing, before she opened the album to the first page and smiled softly at her mother’s handwriting. The cursive was neat and floaty with big loops just as she recalled, and something she had tried to emulate but she could never get it right. Jason reached out and moved the book into his lap so that Emma could still see it. It was strange to see Alana’s writing again, and it was even stranger to not have known anything about it. “She gave it to me and Mikey just weeks before… before she died… I have not looked at it since then but now is the right time.”

“You sure you want me to read this Ems?” Jason asked softly as a part of him felt like it was intruding on something that Alana and the kids shared.

“I do, and I think you need too.” Emma answered simply as she shifted and rested her head on his chest listening to the strong and comforting beat of his heart; it was something she had done a hundred times ever since when she was little.

Jason cleared his throat again and tightened his arm around Emma before he tilted the album up. _“Dear Emma and Mikey. I know it may seem that at times there is a disconnect in your world, that your Dad is not always at home when he is, but I want you to know that he gave you an amazing gift that I hope you will treasure forever. He loves and adores both of you, and will go to the ends of this earth to protect you. He will sacrifice everything for you.” Jason paused already struggling to reign in his emotions but he had to continue for both of their sakes. “Family is not always blood. I once heard Adam Seaver say ‘the team is your family’ and it stuck with me. There are so many people that love, adore and protect you both, and you have your Dad to thank for that. They will fight for you just like he and I always will. When you don’t think you have the strength they will. When you don’t think you can fight anymore they will fight for you and with you. When you are lost, they will guide you.”_ The end of the short paragraph gave Jason a perfect place to pause as he fought to control his emotions.

Emma could feel how Jason’s heart beat quickened and the way his breath hitched but she stayed silent as she waited for him to continue.

Jason pressed a quick kiss to the top of Emma’s head before he blinked a couple of times to clear his vision. _“On the next page there is something that is dear to your Dad, and to the men that he shares the other part of his life with. Only when you understand that will you understand them, or at least that is what I thought for a long time but the truth is we all need someone and we all need some peace in our lives. I want you to know that everything I did was to maintain that peace, at times it may have been wrong but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I love your father, have since the moment I met him, and I will always love him. Not just because he gave me the two of you but because of the man he is. I hope that you are proud of him and the men that are your family because I am. Remember what he and the rest of the family he gave us do that so few can do; they face unimaginable danger in the face of inconceivable odds, and they risk their lives to keep us and everyone else safe. It is a part of them and I do not want you ever to resent them for that.”_

Jason drew in a short breath before he continued. _“Within this album are all the pictures that I could find of the two of you with the family that your father gifted you. Some are no longer with us but it does not mean they are forgotten. Some of them might not be in the album just yet but I hope that they will find their way into the pages that are still to be filled, and that is only because you have not met them yet. Love them, cherish them, and remember the joy and peace that you bought them even when you did not realise it and will bring them. They are your family Emma and Mikey, and they will always be with you. I love both of you, and they love you too. Love Mom xoxo.”_ He did not even try to stop the tears as they ran silently down his cheeks dripping down onto Emma. Of course Alana would do something to make sure that the kids understood and knew that they were loved.

Emma let the heavy silence sit for a few minutes longer knowing her Dad needed it before she reached out and wrapped her hand around his, squeezing tightly. Hearing her Dad read her Mom’s words had Emma wanting to cry but she had to be strong for a while longer. “Turn the page over. I want to hear you say it.” She knew he did not need to read it as he could recite it from memory but she wanted to follow along with his words.

Jason sniffled as he tipped his head down and with a shaky hand turned the page already having an inkling from Alana’s words what she had included, and he was right.

_“_ **_Forged by Adversity_ **

_In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed. Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life. I am that man._

_My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day. My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond._

_We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations. I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight._

_We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete. We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend. Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail.”_

Jason did not fail to recite the creed that had been recited by him many times before but this time there was something different as he watched Emma’s fingertips hover over the page following along as he spoke. When Jason stopped Emma let her hand drop down and rest against his stomach.

“I should have told you this a long time ago. I am proud of you Dad.” Emma broke the silence after a few more minutes. It felt strange to say it but she knew he needed to hear it and she wanted to tell him. Although she did not know all of the horrors that he saw or went through she knew it took its toll but she was proud of him and all of her family, the part that he had gifted her and Mikey. She understood it now, understood what her Mom had put into words, and hearing it through her Dad’s emotional voice made it all the more meaningful.

Jason had this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around Emma and hold her tight to him like he used to do when she was little but instead he settled for staying as they were. “Thank you Ems.” He was overwhelmed.

Emma reached out and turned the page hearing her Dad sniffle which was quickly followed by a chuckle at the first photo. “You were hurt, I don’t recall how but I remember Mom being worried, and we went to visit you in the hospital. Sonny and Brock were at your bedside when we got there.” Emma still could recall watching how her Mom’s face had paled as she got the call that told her he had been hurt and had been airlifted back stateside with the rest of the team, it was the first time she truly saw her Mom scared but she was not going to share that.

“I got shot.” Jason supplied without much thought as he recalled the bullet that pierced the plate in his vest going into his stomach before it bounced around breaking a few of his ribs which in turn punctured his lung before it exited. Yeah, he could recall that he learned that going into hypovolemic shock in the middle of a third wheel country was on his never again list.

“Sonny and Brock decided to take me and Mikey so Mom could be with you.” Emma knew that her Dad did not recall any of this as he had been under the influence of some strong analgesics while in the hospital. “We ended up in the waiting room where this photo was taken.” She smiled softly with a tinge of sadness lingering.

Jason looked at the picture silently admitting that he had not seen it before and he had to wonder who had taken it as Alana would not have been in the right frame of mind to even think about taking it. Sonny was laid down on his back across multiple chairs with his cowboy hat covering his eyes and his arms wrapped around Emma who was asleep on top of his chest with her face pressed into his neck while Brock was sat on the floor with his back rested up against the chairs with a six year old Mikey cradled securely in his arms asleep. If he recalled correctly, Brock was fairly new to the team at that point but still a part of the family nonetheless. “I didn’t know that.” There was not a lot he recalled from in the hospital as everything was fuzzy as he had been in a morphine induced haze.

Emma snorted abruptly as she twisted and turned until she was looking up at her Dad without being away from him. “You were higher than a kite Dad. They had you on the really good drugs during that stay. Do you want to know what I remember most about Sonny and Brock looking after Mikey and I that time?”

“Suppose I was. Kind of lost track of things for a while there.” The irony was that he had lost track of more than a few things since Alana died and that was without morphine. “What stuck with you Em?”

“Sonny didn’t lie to us, didn’t give us placations. I cried because I was scared and he held me so tightly. It was like being in your arms with the feeling of safety that enveloped me that day. And then there was Brock who got Mikey to actually look at him and let him be hugged. That was the day that Brock and Mikey formed their bond.” Emma could still recall the way the ornery Texan delicately wiped away her tears then held her tightly letting her cry, he did not tell her to stop instead he let her get it all out. And Brock had connected with Mikey who was incredibly shy and just as scared as she was although he had less of an idea of what was going on.

Jason smiled at Emma’s recollection of that day, not just for her but for Mikey as well. He was thankful for his brothers. “They stayed like that all night in that waiting room with us because Mom sat beside your bed all night. It was Ray who woke us up and ordered them to take us for breakfast. I think Grandma Linda arrived later that morning to stay with us.”

Jason gave Emma a watery smile before he scrubbed his hand over his eyes. Of course he knew the team had been around during that hospitalization but he had no idea that it had been Brock and Sonny who had taken care of Mikey and Emma so that Alana could stay by his side, and he had never thought to ask either. “What else is in here?” He asked as his inquisitive nature was peaked. There was something about hearing all the things his brothers had done for her and her brother in her own words that made him even more grateful for them, and for Alana making the album.

Emma turned the page cautiously knowing what the next two photos contained which would not be easy on Jason and she watched closely for his reaction, or more acutely what the top photo was of. She saw the moment his hand dropped to his right thigh and rubbed, a subconscious action that she had seen a few times before and she knew had to do with Nate and his death although she would never question him on it. “Nate and Mikey at the Bravo 4th of July cookout. And then that is Adam with me and Hannah having a tea party.” Emma pointed at the first photo before she moved to the second. The first photo was Nate holding a squirmy Mikey after he had caught him coming off the end of the slip and slide that had been set up, while the second photo was of Adam sitting at the kiddie table with her and Hannah when they were a lot younger, maybe five or six years old, and he was dutifully obliging them.

“I think I was the one who took the photo of Nate and Mikey. That was a good day.” There were many fond memories from that cookout as it was the last one they had before Nate was killed. Every single member of Bravo had been there along with their significant others and their families. Even some of Alpha had been in attendance, and the day had ended with one hell of an amazing fireworks show courtesy of Full Metal.

“Yeah it was. I still don’t know where Full Metal got all of those fireworks from. I don’t even think you can buy them at the store.” Emma laughed lightly recalling even the look of surprise on Full Metal’s face once he set the fireworks off and they brightly and beautifully lit up the night sky.

“That’s because you can’t Em.” Jason laughed lightly. He had to admit he was glad they had chosen to have it at the local park rather than in one of their backyards that year because those fireworks could be seen for miles and they were loud as hell.

Emma shook her head and reached out again deciding to flip over a few pages mainly because she wanted to hear her Dad explain the photo that she was showing him. “Who did end up finishing the playhouse Dad?” It was a photo of him and Ray looking rather flustered as they tried to build her a playhouse for the backyard with little success, and then the second photo was of her Mom and Naima toasting themselves in front of the finished playhouse.

Jason grumbled recalling his hatred for that damn playhouse knowing that he and Ray had spent the entire day trying unsuccessfully to put it together but it had been Alana and Naima who finished it off later that night, both had a glass of wine in their hands while he and Ray manned the grill as they did it. “We did most of it, they just put the finishing touches on.” Jason was quick to answer knowing that it was not quite the case but it was the story he was sticking too.

“Uh-huh.” Emma smiled knowingly having heard that story retold proudly by her Mom and Naima when they were a bit on the tipsy side once much to her Dad and Ray’s embarrassment.

Jason shook his head knowing it was not an argument he was going to win with Emma as it was one that he had never won with Alana and he knew better than to argue with Naima over it. He reached out and turned the page over seeing that the two photos stuck there were with Lisa; the first photo was of her holding Mikey in her arms despite being way to old and heavy to be carried and according to the caption made by Alana beneath the photo Mikey was ten years old, and the second photo was of Lisa smiling as she zipped up the gown that Emma was wearing. Yeah, Jason was going to need those explained as he could not recall what occasions they had been taken on. “Do you know when these were taken?” He asked wishing he knew.

Emma smiled softly knowing why her Dad did not recall as he and the rest of Bravo had been spun up as both pictures had been taken in the span of three days. “Lisa did not go with you when you and the team were spun up, and she was not required on base. I don’t know why, doubt I would be privy to that information.” Emma explained seeing as it registered in her Dad’s mind. “That was taken the night of my recital, it ran late and Mikey had spent the day at his hockey tournament so he was exhausted. Lisa spent the day watching him play with Mom and I as well.” Emma stopped.

Jason remembered that mission as Lisa had been on medical leave and therefore had not been with them although he had no idea that she had spent that time with his family helping out Alana. Lisa had been hurt in a mandatory training exercise for all Bravo support, not seriously but enough that the doctor deemed her grounded which she adamantly fought against and ultimately lost. “And that was from your school dance, right?” He asked as he looked at the second photo.

“Yip” Emma popped the ‘p’. “Mom was running late from work so Lisa helped me get ready. I think she had more fun with the girly stuff than she will ever admit.”

“You looked absolutely stunning that night, I remember your Mom showing me all the photos that she took.” Jason remembered the awe that he was struck with seeing how his little girl was growing up when he had first seen the photos, and now he was in awe of the young woman she had become.

“Thank you Dad.” Emma blushed with her cheeks going a soft pink. It was hard to believe that it was only a few short years before because it seemed so long ago but then so much had happened. “You know, I have been saving some photos that I have been meaning to add to the album but I have not looked at it since I packed it into this box.” There was a stash of photos that Emma left inside of a book that she made sure her Dad had. “We could add them, I mean only if you want too.” She did not want to overwhelm him.

“I’d love to see them Em.” Jason really did want to see what Emma had deemed worthy to be added to the album.

“Okay, I will be back in a second.” Emma reluctantly left the comforting warmth of her Dad as she rose to her feet and then left the room to go and get the photos.

Jason shifted slightly before he began looking through the rest of the album seeing photos of the kids with Eric, Ray, Trent, and even Mandy as well. Some of the times he could recall where and when they were taken and other times he was not so sure but what he did know was that Alana was right, that his kids were lucky to have so many people that loved them.

Emma smiled seeing that her father was smiling as she ambled back into the room with a couple of pillows as well as the brown paper envelope that she had put all of the photos in. She figured that her Dad would be getting sore from sitting on the floor up against the wall but she knew that he was content where he was. “Here Dad.” Emma tossed one of the pillows which he caught with ease and immediately slid it between his back and the wall while she followed suit and sat down then cuddled back into his side. Once Emma was settled she opened the envelope and pulled the small stack of photos out then held them out to Jason to take which he did.

The first photo was definitely not one that Jason had seen before and it caught him off guard as his stomach twisted up in knots just looking at it. “I went to visit him in the hospital because I knew you couldn’t.” Emma’s voice interrupted the pit that was forming. “I fell asleep, ended up being there the whole night.” She shrugged knowing that she had not shared this with anyone before, and she knew that it was not something that Clay liked to talk about, and Swanny was no longer there to tell them.

Jason swallowed thickly as he studied the photo intently. The photo must have been taken by a nurse because it was of Clay in his hospital bed asleep with Emma asleep in the recliner beside Clay’s bed with a blanket draped over her while Swanny watched over both of them intently from the other side of the bed. It was the only time Jason had seen Clay in his hospital bed after he had survived the bombing in Manila, and even now he could see the dark circles beneath Clay’s eyes but what caught his attention was the way Emma had her hand wrapped around his wrist grounding him. There was so much sadness that Jason felt from that one photo because that photo cemented that they were all Clay had, that it was his daughter and Swanny at his bedside when the rest of Bravo could not be.

“Tell me more Em.” Jason suddenly wanted to hear every detail, wanted to know everything about the visit that he knew nothing about before.

“I spoke to you the night before and I asked you about Clay. You avoided the question.” Emma began before she paused wondering how to explain what she had been thinking. “I spent the night awake. There was something in your voice that made me unsettled, and I just could not shake the feeling that Clay needed someone. I spent a good couple of hours replaying the party for Lisa going to OCS, and how unsettled Clay was as he did not want a Gucci deployment at the time. I remember you telling him to eat some mac n’ cheese. You referred to him as ‘Uncle Clay’.” She smiled at the memory. “Anyway, I only had a half day at school the next day so I arranged for Mikey to be picked up and stay at Henry’s for the night. I knew that Swanny had been going into visit Clay but I was not sure of the schedule so I picked them up both some food and went to the hospital.”

“And what then Em?” Jason pressed softly wondering what she had experienced that day as Clay had gone radio silent on them at the time.

“When I arrived Swanny was not there, and Clay had just finished his physical therapy session for the day so he was pretty exhausted. I don’t think he knew why I was there, or maybe he wondered whether you had sent me but I told him that you had not and that I would not share anything with you until he was ready to do it himself… Guess I am kind of breaking that now but it does not count…” Emma shrugged as she took a breath deciding that she was not breaking it because Clay was back operating. “I remember how dull his eyes were Dad, how they were filled with fear, and how apprehensive he was.” Those baby blues were swimming with insecurity and doubt but she bit her lip at that thought. “I talked, well rambled, a lot about anything and everything I could to distract him that afternoon, and he listened. Somehow the idea of paper planes popped into my head so I got some paper from the nurse who had come into check on him and we had a paper plane competition to see whose would fly the furthest. That was when Swanny arrived and he joined in. No one actually won mainly because the room was not really big enough to fly them in.” There were several paper planes scattered on the floor as many of them had hit the wall and crashed.

Jason listened intently to Emma and he could picture the scene in his head which was helped by the photo providing the setting for it. He wished he had known before but he knew why he had not been told, and surprisingly he felt okay with them having kept it private although he was happy that he was hearing it now.

“Clay began to doze as he had exhausted himself but it was easy to see the pain he was in. I don’t even know why I did it but I placed my hand on his wrist and it settled him. Swanny said that he had not seen Clay so restful since they had dialed back all of the drugs, and it was in that moment that I could not bring myself to take my hand off of him. I figured if it bought him a small amount of peace and allowed him to rest then I could stay.” Emma stopped as she felt herself shudder. “Dad?”

The change in Emma’s voice was alarming to Jason and he had felt her shudder. “Yeah Ems?” He asked softly because whatever it was had her spooked.

“There was nothing Clay could have done for Swanny, to stop him I mean. No one saw it, not me and not him. It’s important that you know that.” Emma’s voice changed again and it was firm while she needed him to believe her.

Swanny had known Emma when she was little when he was on the teams. “I know that Em, there was nothing that any of us could have done. We can wish that things had been different, we do, but we know that once Swanny got it into his mind then there was no stopping him.” It was not something Jason had thought all that much about, sure he had said at the wake that they all had a little bit of what Swanny had but he had not thought anymore about it after that day.

“Have you ever told Clay that?” Emma knew they were veering off the topic but it was important for her to know.

“I don’t know Em.” That was the honest truth although Jason wished he could recall. “What else did you and Swanny talk about that night?” He asked wondering what had happened that night at the hospital.

Emma smiled softly but it was brittle and her eyes were glassy. “About Clay mostly. Swanny asked me if I knew much or anything at all about his family, and I didn’t, I don’t still. We talked late into the night. The last thing I remember Swanny saying before I fell asleep was that Clay would be back with you all operating. He had that belief even when Clay did not.” It was the truth and something she could not shake. “I woke up in the morning with a blanket draped over me because Swanny was holding a cup of coffee right under my nose, he said ‘you can’t sleep away the day’. It was barely seven in the morning! He must have left at some point during the night cause he was freshly showered and changed too, and before I could even take a mouthful of the coffee he was ordering me to wake Clay because his breakfast was about to be served before he left the room saying he would be back soon.”

Jason chuckled at Emma’s bitterness at being woken up after only a few hours of sleep because he knew how much she liked to sleep but he did not press her for more information instead he decided to wait to see if she would say anymore.

“I woke Clay up as gently as I could after I finished my coffee, and I could see the surprise that he had that I was still there. The rest of the morning was really quiet but comfortable until he told me very nicely to go home and get some sleep.” Emma and Clay had sat in silence which was surprisingly comfortable for a few hours longer before he had told her to go home and rest as he knew she needed to get Mikey. “I was on my way out when a nurse stopped me and handed me the photo. It kind of surprised me at the time but now I am really glad we have it. It not only shows what Clay went through but that Swanny was watching over the both of us, kind of like I hope he still is today.”

Jason kissed the crown of Emma’s head before he rested his chin on top of her head. “I am glad he was there Ems.” The pair sat in silence for a few minutes both thinking about the bombing that nearly cost Clay his life and the loss of Swanny before Emma shifted, placed the photo down on one of the spare pages and then showed Jason the next photo. The photo was of Cerb with Mikey both asleep on the floor, both with pillows under their heads, snuggled together. “Did you take this one Em?” Jason had a feeling that Emma would have snapped the photo.

“I did. It was only taken a few weeks ago.” Emma smiled happy that she managed to capture the moment as she knew how important that Cerb was to the team as she knew the job he did.

Not every photo was from an occasion or had some deep meaning behind them but rather they were all important because they showed the family that they had. Emma had a few more photos – one of Sonny with Mikey on his back, one of Mandy, Lisa and Naima with Emma who had RJ held on her hip as they stood in the kitchen laughing, one of Ray helping Mikey practice for hockey, one of Trent patching up Mikey who had a scrape on his leg, and one of Brock stoking the fire pit with Clay and Emma beside him clearly in a conversation. One by one Emma and Jason stuck the photos down on the pages that had yet to be filled.

The first rays of the new day began to peek in through the window. The two had stayed up the entire night talking, swapping stories, and looking through photos. “What do you say that we go and get breakfast from that diner that we used to go to?” Jason was starving and he wanted to continue talking to Emma recalling memories that he had not thought about in years.

“Can I get an ice cream sundae if I eat all of my pancakes?” Emma teased knowing it was a tradition to share a sundae after they had eaten their pancakes, it was something that they had not done in a long time, had a father daughter breakfast date and it was something she missed.

“I think that can be arranged.” Jason chuckled as he patted Emma’s hip as he still had his arm wrapped around her. “You want to get changed first?” He asked knowing she probably would want to after driving from New York and then sitting up with him for the rest of the night.

“Yeah.” Emma decided that a pair of ripped jeans and one of her Dad’s old hoodies that was oversized on her but so very comfortable would be good enough. “Be back in a few.” She kissed her cheek as she unfurled herself from his side and got up knowing that she had to wash up and change then he would before they went out for breakfast.

Jason watched as Emma walked out of the room, proud of his daughter, before he moved forward and began picking up all of the photos and albums that they had been through and put them back in the box. He was glad for the trip down memory lane, and he was so very happy that Emma had made him read what Alana had written for the kids. He would take the time that Emma had and spend what he could with her. He may have been roped into babysitting Jameelah and RJ for Ray and Naima but what he got out of it was worth it because he got to spend the time reminiscing and learning more about his children’s lives and how the unintentional ‘gift’ he gave them was still influencing and caring for them today.


	2. Little Buddy

**_ Little Buddy – Sonny Quinn _ **

It was official Sonny hated rainforests and all that they contained, and he especially hated the humidity and rain.

Bravo had trekked through the Mizoram-Manipur-Kachin Rainforest which joined India, Bangladesh, and Myanmar (Burma) together. They had remained within Myanmar for the duration of their trek after they were tasked with rescuing an American family; two adults and one small child – Adam and Maya, and their four year old son Benji. They had been caught up in the civil unrest and terrorised by the rebel forces who hated any and all foreigners, even those helping their own people. What made this family different was that they were friends of a high ranking General and therefore Bravo had been tasked to collect them.

The village where they lived was deep in the rain forest which seemed like a weird place to live but that was not any of Bravo’s concern about their choices. It took Bravo just over two days to reach it on foot as there was no other way in if they wanted to keep their presence a secret. What greeted them was not what they expected at all, and not at all in line with the intel they had received. The acrid smell of the remains of the village choked them and the smouldering ashes provided a haunting glow to the desecration that had occurred.

“Heads on a swivel.” Jason cautioned over the COMMS as they stood at the edge of the clearing looking over the devastated village that the rebels had already been through having destroyed almost everything in their path. Jason stepped over the body of a local who had deep wounds to his body from what looked to be a machete or some other similar bladed weapon. “Bravo 1 to Havoc, be advised we have reached the village and the rebels have been through it. Proceeding to search for survivors.” He signalled for everyone to spread out in pairs as they moved deeper into the village with their weapons raised.

“Bravo 3 to HAVOC, please confirm which residence again.” Sonny advanced forward into the village, cringing as he stepped into a pool of blood that was still sticky before he continued forward seeing that there was at least a few huts still standing although not as many as there should have been.

“HAVOC to Bravo 3, should be the fifth one from where you entered the village.” Lisa’s voice came over the COMMS, and Sonny looked over at Clay before they both counted the burn patterns where huts had clearly been as there were charred belongings scattered within the ashes. The first three huts were gone but the next three were in tact then the rest were also in piles of ashes. “Six, with me.” Sonny nodded at Clay who was already moving towards him as they moved towards the house that should have been the family’s knowing the rest of the team was moving through and clearing the rest of the huts that were left standing as well as keeping watch to make sure that there were no rebels who had stayed just in case anyone came by.

Sonny rushed the hut kicking the door open to make his way in before he stopped short at the sight that greeted him. “Shit!” Sonny exclaimed sharply which had Clay’s attention as they lowered their weapons. In the far corner of the small open plan hut was little brown haired hazel eyed Benji who was curled up as tightly as he could staring up at them wide eyed and whimpering with a small soft toy teddy bear clutched to his chest. “Hey there little buddy. My name is Sonny and that right there is my friend Clay.” Sonny handed his gun off to Clay before he took a few steps closer then stopped as he could see that it was only frightening the young child more so he knelt down and tried to make himself look as unintimidating as he possibly could. He tuned Clay out as he heard him advise the team and HAVOC that they had Benji but there was no sign of the parents. “I’m not going to hurt you Benji, I just want to take you home.” He kept his voice as soft as he could.

Clay stood poised and ready for action as he looked out from the doorway of the hut while Sonny worked to coax Benji out of the corner or at least get himself close enough to pick him up and carry him out. Clay had not missed the hand shaped dark bruise that took up almost all of Benji’s left cheek, and Clay knew that the child must have been backhanded hard by someone.

“Bravo 2 to Bravo 6, any sign of the parents?” Ray asked as he and Jason moved along the open clearing that ran behind the huts.

“Negative Bravo 2, only the child.” Clay replied sparing a glance over his shoulder at Sonny.

“Bravo 4 to 1 and 2. Going to need you over here. We found all of them.” There was something in Trent’s voice that was daunting. The fact that Trent had said ‘all’ meant it was not just the parents that he, Brock and Cerb had found.

Ray and Jason spared a look at each other before they signalled that they were on their way. It took less than a minute for the two of them to jog across the village and they both halted at what they were seeing but it explained the vile smell that had permeated the air. There were several charred bodies that were unrecognisable but it was clear to see given the damage to the charred remains that they had suffered horrendous deaths even before the burning took place in a pile. Jason turned away to report it into HAVOC knowing that they had no way to identify the bodies of Adam and Maya nor did they have the means to transport all of the bodies back in order to bring the two of them home.

Sonny swallowed softly as he edged closer to Benji who at least was not trying to scramble back further into the corner. “See this little buddy.” Sonny tapped the American flag that bore the Bravo team insignia within it on his vest receiving a timid nod from Benji. “Well, I came all the way from the United States so I could get you home, look I even have a photo of you to help me find you.” He produced the picture that they had been given from one of his pockets and held it out to Benji whose little eyes became glassy and the tears fell silently down his dirty cheeks leaving tracks as they dripped down onto his teddy bear.

“Three, we need to go!” Clay called back over his shoulder knowing that the longer they stayed the riskier it was, hating that he had to push Sonny to hurry up especially given how frightened the young boy was.

Benji looked from the flag insignia to Sonny’s eyes a couple of times before he suddenly pushed out of his huddle and flung himself at Sonny sobbing softly.

Sonny wrapped his arms around the shaking frame of Benji once he recovered from the sudden hard impact and lifted him off of the ground. Sonny grunted and coughed slightly as the boy’s head collided hard with Sonny’s windpipe as he drilled his face into his neck. “It’s okay little buddy. You are okay. I’ve got you.” Sonny softened his voice as much as he could and let his Texan drawl come through deeply as one of his large hands rubbed Benji’s back hoping to calm him down. He stood up and turned round looking at Clay who nodded understanding that he had his arms full with the boy clinging to him the way he was.

The moment that Sonny took the first step towards the door Benji began squirming against him. “Woah there little buddy.” Sonny wondered how the hell parents managed to hold onto their kids when they squirmed as much as Benji was. Benji placed his little hand, the one the was not clutching his teddy bear, against Sonny’s vest and pushed himself back before he pointed towards the small bumblebee backpack that was on the floor then to the small flannelette blanket that was next to it.

“I’ve got it. The least we can do is grab some of his things.” Clay shouldered his gun as he made the comment as he could still recall being shipped away when he was younger with very few items that were familiar to him. A quick glance of the hut gave Clay the idea that material possessions were few and far in between given that there were no other toys other than the small teddy bear that was clutched to Benji’s chest which admittedly looked as though it had been attacked a few dozen times with sewing thread and a needle to patch it up but they had at least two days ahead of them trekking back to their EXFIL point so a few possessions would be needed. Clay crossed the small hut, knelt down and opened the bag finding it contained two well-worn pictures books, a water bottle that seemed half full and a change of clothes. He moved around the hut, not caring about making a mess as he pulled out the various bags and boxes that were hidden round the place until he found the rest of the child’s clothing then stuffed it into the bag before he packed the blanket on top then zipped it up and handed it over to Sonny who shouldered it along with his own pack once he had juggled Benji so he could get his arm free for the few seconds that it took to do so.

Benji, for the most part, relaxed back into Sonny’s chest with his face pressed into his neck once more with only the occasional muffled sob breaking free of his small trembling lips.

Clay took the lead as he led them out of the hut seeing the rest of the team making their way towards them. Clay had heard everything over the COMMS so he did not need to ask for details and it was best not to say anything as they did not want the boy overhearing any of it. He nodded towards Sonny and Benji, the latter still clinging to the former as if he was in the ocean and there was no life raft.

“How is he?” Trent bet Jason to asking as he was unable to assess the small child although he did not miss how he was trembling in Sonny’s arms.

Clay shook his head. “Terrified, someone hit him in the face given the bruise that takes up his whole left side. Hasn’t said anything but we grabbed him a few of his things. Could do with some food and water.” Clay reported succinctly not thinking about the food and water thing until that moment. They had no idea when the boy had anything to eat or drink last, and they doubted he would be able to tell them either.

Jason knew that doing a medical assessment of the only survivor, of the small child, was crucial but he also knew they had to get moving. “Sonny, any other sign of injury?” Jason glanced at his watch knowing that they would be best to get moving and try to cover as much ground before they had to rest as nightfall would be upon them soon enough. It was also not a good idea to stay at the ruined village either because they had no idea if any of the rebel faction were still around or would come back through to do another sweep for any survivors.

“Nothing else visible but I have not been able to get that good of a look at him.” Sonny replied quietly still running his hand around in circles trying to soothe the boy.

“Let’s move, put some distance between us and here. Medical check will have to wait until we bed down for the night.” Jason decided as Ray nodded in agreeance with him. There was no way to trek through the night despite how much he wished they could but they would move for as long as they could then take turns to watch while the others rested. It was not an ideal situation especially with the rebel faction patrolling the rainforest and now a young orphaned four year old. Jason took the opportunity to step off to the side to update HAVOC of their plans before they set off through the rainforest once more.

Trent had quickly slid his pack off and produced a bottle of water for Benji to drink from before he slid his pack back on and took his gun back from Brock who had held it while he did. “Here Sonny, try and get him to drink some. Small sips to begin with.” Trent moved closer to Sonny seeing him juggle Benji in his arms before he took the bottle. Trent looked towards Ray and Jason then nodded as he got a glimpse at how tightly the small boy was curled into Sonny. For four years old, Benji looked tiny, but Trent refrained from making any call as he was in no way an expert on children or their health for that matter.

Sonny looked down as best as he could wondering how the hell he was meant to convince the kid to pull back and drink the water from the bottle, at least it was a pop top which meant there would be less chance of spillage. “Benji, little buddy, I have some water for you to drink.” Plain and simple was the approach Sonny was going to go with first but all that got him was a small shake of the small head that was pressed into his neck beneath his chin. Sonny looked over at Ray who was too busy scanning the shadows beyond the clearing to help. “Okay, okay, you just tell me when you want some then.” He decided not to push it as the last thing he wanted to do was scare him more but he kept hold of the water bottle in his right hand as he was holding Benji with that arm.

“Five, take point. Six, with him. Three behind them. Two and Five follow behind with me.” Jason ordered not liking the airiness one bit that surrounded them. It was far to quiet given the animal life that usually lived in rainforests but it seemed that even they had fled.

Sonny knew his brothers would protect him and Benji but he somehow managed to hold Benji who had his hand, the one that was not clinging to his teddy bear, tightly fisted in the fabric of Sonny’s shirt by his shoulder, and hold his weapon. Sonny had no idea what to expect, and he had no idea nor did he want to imagine what the boy had possibly witnessed but what mattered was getting to the EXFIL point and getting in the sketchy clunky truck that would take them back to the plane so they could fly home.

The men moved as one falling into line and leaving the village and all the atrocities it held within it behind keeping a quick pace that ate up the distance quickly. They knew that they had to hustle as they were racing against the daylight as it was already largely blocked out by the thick foliage that the canopies of the trees provided which meant it got darker quicker. There was only so much distance they could cover before the place lapsed into total darkness even with their NODS equipment but it was just not feasible to keep going and wear themselves out given the long distance and terrible terrain.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray had been watching Sonny seeing that he had to keep jostling Benji who had not moved at all from where he was curled tightly against Sonny. Ray knew how sore a person’s arm could get from carrying a child even if physically fit, and he would admit that his arms had gotten tired and sore from carrying his own children for extended periods of time like the time Naima decided to go shopping on Black Friday and Ray had spent hours holding RJ in his arms in the busy mall while Naima and Jameelah shopped. Ray glanced at his watch seeing that it had been just on two hours since they had left the village and by his best estimate they only had another hour and a half of light left despite it already beginning to fade.

Ray quickened his pace to close the distance between him and Sonny. “Son, want me to take him for a little bit?” Ray offered quietly.

Sonny slowed to a stop and turned towards Ray. “Yeah, that would be good.” He was grateful for the offer as it was not easy carrying a kid. The kid may be small but all of his weight was rested solely on Sonny’s right arm. “Hey little buddy, my brother Ray is going to hold you for a little while.” Sonny nodded towards Ray although Benji made no effort to move.

“Hi Benji.” Ray spoke softly hoping that the little boy would come to him easily. Ray shouldered his gun and reached out to take Benji into his own arms but the moment he touched him he flinched and held tighter to Sonny.

Sonny grunted as a small sneaker clad foot connected with his groin as the kid fought Ray being anywhere near him. Sonny shook his head whilst waving Ray off as he caught his breath. “Alright, alright, you can stay with me kid.” Sonny relented instead handing his gun off to Ray as he took a few moments to shift Benji further to his side onto his hip and switching his right arm out with his left. “But you got to drink some water.” It was a compromise. Okay, Sonny was going to bargain with a four year old but he had not had anything to drink yet.

Ray stifled the smirk that tugged at his lips as he shook his head watching as Sonny negotiated with the boy. He was not the least bit offended by the traumatised child’s refusal to be passed over. “Looks like he has imprinted on you Son.” He could not help the comment as he did not bother handing Sonny back his gun instead took hold of his own and repositioned himself.

“He has taste Ray.” Sonny did not miss a beat as he chuckled.

“Kid must be more in shock than we thought.” Trent sniped quickly as he had not missed the whole interaction. Sonny stopping and trying to pass the boy off to Ray had made them all stop for a few minutes.

Sonny shook his head and returned his attention to Benji who was very slowly loosening his grip on the fabric of Sonny’s shirt as he had twisted his neck around so that his ear was pressed into Sonny’s neck rather than his face. “Here little buddy.” Sonny fumbled slightly but he managed to keep a hold of the kid while popping the top of the water bottle open and bringing it to Benji’s lips. “It’s okay, you can have it.” He coaxed seeing as Benji opened his mouth allowing Sonny to tip the bottle up and let him have a small mouthful.

“Small sips Sonny.” Trent reminded him softly as the last thing he wanted to do was startle the boy and stop him from drinking. Sonny nodded and pulled the bottle back to stop the flow of water letting Benji swallow and it settle before he let him have another small mouthful.

Jason shook his head as he looked around at the men in front of him before he surveyed the terrain around them. They had covered a lot of distance in two hours but he would still feel better if they made more progress. “Let’s keep moving.” The small break was needed for them all but ‘quick’ was the defining term. He hoped that they would make it further past where they had had to bed down in the early hours of the morning but knew it was unlikely especially with a small boy now in their custody, or rather in Sonny’s custody as he had certainly taken a liking to the usually ornery Texan.

Sonny let Benji sip his way through a quarter of the bottle before he recapped it and held it in his hand as they began moving again through the rainforest. Benji tightened his grip on his teddy and on the fabric clutched in his small hand simultaneously as they began moving once more which did not go unnoticed. The silence of the young child was unsettling to Sonny but then again it also made their job easier as they did not have to worry about keeping him quiet or him being heard by the rebel forces that were still patrolling at will.

Clay smiled as he glanced over his shoulder at Sonny wondering if he even realised if he was humming softly to the boy as he rubbed his back continuously. While Sonny might not have realised it, his brothers certainly did and shared several smiles and smirks at the golden hearted Texan’s sweet antics. Clay turned back just in time to see Cerb tense and Brock hold his fist up to halt them all.

Brock heard the low rumble that emitted from Cerb and felt how rigid his body became next to him, then he felt his eyes widen as he caught sight of what had caught Cerb’s attention, a baby gibbon clinging to its mother low in a tree not far from them. “It’s alright boy.” Brock scratched Cerb’s ear with his free hand before he raised it up and pointed up ahead at the gibbons.

“Aww look, we found Sonny’s spirit animal.” Clay snickered although there was some similarities with the way Sonny was holding Benji to the way the mother gibbon was holding her child.

Sonny shook his head ignoring his brothers now that the perceived threat was no longer one instead focusing back on Benji.

“Keep moving.” Jason was glad that it was only a protective mother gibbon and baby that they had come across as he was aware of what else could live in the rainforest of Myanmar, and none of those animals were on his list to meet, at least not without a piece of bullet proof glass in between him and them. “Trent?” Jason caught up with Trent so that they were side by side.

“Yeah boss?” Trent let his eyes wonder over the surrounding flora and fauna even as he replied.

“As soon as we find somewhere to bed down for the night, I want you to work with Sonny and get the kid checked out. Blackburn wants a medical report on the kid.” Jason could see that the boy was not going to let go of Sonny anytime soon which would not make Trent’s job any easier but he would have to find a way to work the problem.

“Already planned on doing so boss.” Trent wanted to be reassured himself that the kid was okay having seen the large bruise that blemished his soft skin as he rested his head to the side against Sonny’s neck. “Going to be hell to separate them, you know.” It was worth pointing out. Jason resisted the urge to groan, close his eyelids, and pinch the top of his nose all at once. “HAVOC have any idea on what will happen to the kid once we get him back stateside?” Trent pressed as he could not imagine having to pass the kid off to a complete stranger after everything that he had been through. Not only had the boy lost both of his parents but he had quite possibly witnessed several brutal murders and the burning of bodies, was about to leave the home that he had only ever known as his parents had moved to Myanmar when he was only a year or so old, and none of it seemed fair at all.

Jason wished Trent had not have asked because he had already pressed Eric on it but all he got was a clipped ‘working on it Jason’ which did not appease him as much as he hoped it would. “They are working on it.” It was clipped but it was all he had to answer.

Trent nodded in understanding before he frowned and pouted his lips as he felt something wet drop onto his skin and run down the bridge of his nose. “Oh damn.” He barely got the words out before the sheets of heavy rain starting bucketing down over them, soaking them completely within seconds and making the ground muddy and bog like. There was nowhere to seek shelter from the rain so they had to keep moving knowing that the rain would pass by soon and the warm temperatures would dry them off once that happened. Nor could they avoid it or let a little rain slow them down when there was still daylight left.

Sonny did what he could to shelter the child in his arms from the rain but it was little use given the slant of the droplets combined with the torrential pour that it was as he continued to trudge through what was fast becoming thick and sticky mud. “Only in a rainforest.” Sonny muttered under his breath as he pressed Benji into his chest a little tighter hoping to keep the water from hitting his face as it was enough to feel like it was piercing their skin which would do him no good especially with the bruise that seemed to be still darkening. He had not thought it was possible but the boy began trembling violently and then startled even more violently as a howl of some sort echoed through the trees which had all of his brothers pointing their guns up and around as they searched for any danger that was presented to them even as they continued to move.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The darkness blanketed the rainforest thickly providing the truest pitch black that they had ever seen but still the rain did not ease up nor did the men of Bravo as they used their NODS to navigate through the worsening terrain for that extra bit of distance as they hoped to find somewhere to bed down for the remainder of the night with whatever shelter could be offered before the sun decided to return. With the darkness came the dropping temperatures that made their exposed skin break out in goose-bumps as their soaked clothes stuck to their skin uncomfortably.

Ray had moved to the front of the group with Brock and Cerb as they reached the hour and a half mark and the only thing left was the fast fading wisps of light that peaked through the foliage, and they were lucky that the light seemed to hold out for another half an hour before it finally lost the battle to the darkness. A battle like one that they had all faced from time to time but none of them would make the comparison.

Clay had moved back to remain at Sonny’s side as the path they were following was wide enough for them to walk side by side in pairs of two. He had not missed the way the young boy’s teeth were loudly chattering or the way he was shaking so hard that it was making Sonny’s arms shake by the sheer force of it. The boy was freezing despite Sonny’s best efforts to keep him as sheltered as he could, and letting him draw his own body heat in an effort to keep him warm. There was no doubt in any of their minds that the young boy was suffering in the cold, was probably starving, and still terrified. Clay knew that the blanket that the boy had pointed to was in his backpack that Sonny still had draped over his shoulder but there was no point in getting that soaked as it would only serve to make him colder. Instead he hoped that the waterproof kiddie backpack would keep it dry so that when they stopped they could get him into a set of dry clothes and then wrap the blanket around him in an effort to warm him up. Clay did not miss the way Sonny had paled a few shades either as the little boy was draining him of his body heat which meant he was feeling just as cold and most likely tiring faster.

“Sonny, give him here. He’s drawn a bit to much body heat from you for the moment.” Clay held out his arm for the boy as he kept his voice low not wanting to alert the rest of the team to the predicament.

Sonny wished that he could hand Benji off purely so that the boy could be warmer but the colder he had got the tighter his little hand had clutched and twisted in the fabric of Sonny’s shirt, and the more he had tried to burrow into his chest and neck. “Kid’s holding me tighter than one of those knots they use in Texas to wrangle a bull at the rodeo.” Sonny answered as he let his hand slide up and down continuously over Benji’s back hoping that the friction would create a small amount of heat at the very least. “I can push through it.” He added on not wanting his brother to worry although he knew it was futile.

Clay bit his lip as he deliberated what to do, after all the kid had just about panicked when Ray tried to take him from Sonny, but they were both freezing as the kid was drawing every bit of warmth from Sonny that he could. “Okay, okay, but the moment we stop I want you to get as much out of the rain as you can, for both of you.” Clay relented knowing that there was not much else he could do except to have a quiet word with Trent and get him to check on both of them.

“Thanks blondie.” Sonny answered missing the opportunity to razz Clay about being all concerned as he was focused on the shivering child in his arms and making sure that he did not slip over in the thick and slippery mud as well as the puddles that were forming rapidly that were akin to small ponds.

Clay gave him a tight lipped smile before he returned to scanning the area surrounding them as they continued to walk as a reduced pace as the conditions became increasingly hazardous. He waited a few minutes before he dropped back a few steps so that he was just barely in front of Trent and Jason who rounded out the team. “Trent.” Clay spoke in a hushed voice but still loud enough to be heard over the rain.

Trent was kind of surprised that Clay had dropped back towards him and Jason but it was obvious that there was something on Clay’s mind given the worried look he had on his face. “What is it Clay?” Trent asked already running his eyes over Clay looking for any sign of pain or illness but not finding anything.

Clay nodded his head towards Sonny and Benji before he looked back at Trent and Jason.

Jason did not miss the way Trent followed Clay’s direction and frowned. “Tell us now kid.” Jason was anxious despite how hard he was trying to hide it as it was not often that Clay looked at worried as he did.

“Kid is freezing and drawing a lot of body heat from Sonny.” Clay stated plainly.

Trent withheld the sigh that desperately wanted to break free of his lips knowing they had to keep moving while they could as Jason was not satisfied with the distance that they had already put between them and the village given the patrolling rebel forces and the lack of ISR. Trent looked at Jason knowing that he needed to assess both Sonny and Benji. “Clay swap out with me for a little bit.” Trent signalled a swap out as he loosely twirled his finger in the air in front of him.

“Yeah.” Clay nodded and moved to the side so that Trent could catch up with Sonny which would not be hard given how much they had slowed down due to the deteriorating conditions before he shifted back to be beside Jason.

Jason reached his hand out and quickly squeezed the back of Clay’s neck. “Good work kid.” He praised him genuinely glad that Clay was looking out for Sonny before he let his hand drop away from his neck.

Ray and Brock were a few feet ahead of Sonny with Cerb held taut on his leash another foot in front of them. Ray blew out a breath and swiped at the rain that was dripping off his eyelashes yet again as he had lost count of how many times he had already. Ray barely had time to react as a grunt echoed out from beside him as Brock slipped and fell down hard on his backside. He stopped immediately and knelt down next to Brock who was blinking heavily and Cerb began to whine as he doubled back to be with him. “Brock, you good?” Ray asked concerned that Brock was making no effort to get up.

Brock blinked heavily a couple of times as he had landed hard enough that it jarred his teeth. “Yeah, yeah, give me a hand up.” Brock knew that he could not stay down and that they had to keep moving.

“I’ve got you brother.” Ray held his arm out once he had planted his feet firmly into the muddy ground (or rather as firmly as he could) and wrapped his hand around Brock’s outstretched wrist before he hauled him up off the ground. “You sure you are good? Nothing hurt?” Ray asked not letting go of Brock.

“Brock, you okay?” Trent was beside Brock in an instant ready to examine him if needed.

“I’m good, just slipped.” Brock waved off both men’s concerns although he did not miss the look that was shared between the two before he reached down and gave Cerb a reassuring pat.

Ray turned back to Jason. “We’re going to have to find somewhere to shelter and stop for the night Jay.” Ray knew it was not the ideal situation but the likelihood of one or more of them getting injured was a chance that they could not take especially given how far they still had to hike, and then there was Sonny who was carrying Benji.

Jason gritted his teeth and scanned the area before he looked over all of his men. “Yeah. The first decent shelter we come across will be where we bed down for the next few hours. Hopefully the rain will pass and we can get moving again before the sun is up.” It was the right decision but it did not mean that it did not put Jason on edge.

Trent was happy that Jason had made the call as Clay had been right about the small boy bleeding Sonny of his body heat, and he only hoped that they would find shelter quickly. “Want to get some food into this little one too.” Trent pointed towards Benji as he watched Brock brush some of the wet clumps of mud off his pants pleased that he was not showing any sign of injury as he was bearing his weight equally on both legs and moving with ease.

Sonny swayed lightly from side to side when they were stopped hoping to keep Benji settled in his arms as the kid was fighting sleep or maybe he was too cold to go to sleep, either way it couldn’t be good for the wee tyke. His arm was numb, the one that was holding all of the boy’s weight, but he was not about to switch out his arms as that would mean shifting the boy and upsetting him.

Jason nodded at Trent before he turned to Ray. “Let’s get moving.” It was the only thing that he needed to say to get them all falling into line again in their pairs of two with Trent staying by Sonny’s side. There was a bone deep weariness within all of them and the rain was piercing at their skin and chilling their bones but they would continue to push through it.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

It happened by chance really, Ray scanned the area that they were walking through just over thirty arduous minutes later and found a small sheltered clearing off to the side just as the rain had finally decided to give them a reprieve as it went from torrential to barely a few spits within seconds almost as if someone had shut off the valve. Ray keyed his COMMS knowing it would get everyone’s attention as they halted. “Jay, that’s about as good as we are going to find.” Ray knew that the sheltered area was largely hidden and had enough cover that they could conceal themselves as it was circled by several large trees with lots of dense foliage close but not close enough that anything could lurk in them and get close without them realising.

Jason followed Ray’s line of sight and knew he was right immediately as it was the best they had come across in the past thirty minutes. “Right, eat and bed down. I have got first watch. Ray, contact HAVOC to let them know.” Jason ordered watching as Brock and Cerb moved forward into the small clearing and gave it the all clear before the rest followed.

Clay had been a step or two behind Sonny and did not miss the slight sway in his step. He instinctually moved closer and placed his hand on Sonny’s shoulder once he stopped. Clay helped Sonny to sit down on the ground as he was not about to let go of Benji before he knelt down in front of him and eased his pack off of him. “Is the little dude awake?” Clay asked softly as he reached round and tactfully eased Sonny’s pack and Benji’s backpack off of his shoulders letting him rest back against both.

Sonny tilted his head to the side and looked down to see that Benji’s eyes were still fluttering as he fought going to sleep. “Yeah, going to be a long night with the kid.” It was just a suspicion but given the boy had stayed awake despite his best efforts to settle him it was unlikely that he would stop fighting it anytime soon.

Trent had shucked his own pack off opposite where Clay had guided Sonny to sit down and grabbed a few items including a standard issue military blanket that had been stashed in the bottom of his pack before he made his way over to Sonny, Clay and the child. Clay sidestepped to let Trent in without so much as a word. “Clay, want to get this ready?” Trent held out an MRE knowing a hot meal was needed for all of them but especially for Benji as they had no idea how long it had been since he had eaten and a warm meal was always good to help keep the cold at bay. MRE’s were not the greatest thing in the world to eat but they would do in times like this.

Clay took the MRE packet that Trent held out to him and smiled when he saw what it was – Elbow Macaroni in Tomato Sauce – then set about preparing it hoping that with a bit of food in his stomach that Benji would ease his grip on Sonny.

Trent looked at Sonny and considered how the hell they were going to get Benji to let go of Sonny and let him check him out. “Any idea on how to do this?” Trent asked openly although he did send a questioning glare Ray and Jason’s way as they were the fathers of the group.

Sonny patted Benji’s back and dipped his head ignoring the twinge in his neck as he did. “Hey little buddy.” He moved his hand from his back and swept the soaked matted locks from Benji’s small pale face seeing the boy look up at him. “This is my brother Trent, he just wants to make sure you are okay. You don’t have to go anywhere, okay, you can stay right here with me. And while he does that my brother Clay is going to get you something yummy and warm to eat.” Sonny explained as delicately as he could. He was so far out of his area of expertise preferring to be the ‘fun’ uncle but he would not fail the terrified boy; he may not have been a father but he was lucky enough to have watched Jason and Ray with their own children and there were no finer examples as far as he was concerned.

Benji let out a shuddering breath that made his entire body move before he slowly let go of the bunch of fabric that he had bunched in his hand and turned his head just enough to cast his eyes over Trent then to Clay before he looked back up at Sonny. “It’s alright little buddy.” Sonny reassured him softly hoping it would be enough. It took a few more moments of silent deliberation before Benji slowly unfolded himself and turned around so that his back was pressed back against Sonny with his arm hooked around his arm with a tight hold still on his teddy.

Trent withheld the wince that came to him as he got his first proper look at the handprint shaped bruise to Benji’s face knowing it had to hurt like hell but at least there was no swelling or cuts to his face. “It’s okay Benji, can you tell me if you are hurt anywhere else?” Trent decided that asking first would not freak the boy out as much as if he started a physical examination straight away. Benji looked up at Sonny then back to Trent far to wearily than any of them liked before he shook his head to indicate that there was nowhere else. “Can I take a look?” Trent knew he had to be sure before he let the kid eat and drink or even sleep as the last thing they wanted was for something to happen to him especially in the middle of the jungle.

Sonny felt as Benji tensed and tried to press back into him with his little sneaker clad feet digging into his thigh. “Woah, take it easy little buddy.” Sonny held Benji a little tighter which seemed to help calm him down.

Ray knew that they had to take it easy and not traumatise the four year old anymore but he also understood the need for Trent to perform a medical examination. “Trent.” Ray waited until he had Trent’s attention. “Might be worth examining Sonny first.” He suggested.

“What?” Sonny groused as he glared at Ray although it did not have any actual fury behind it.

Ray shook his head remembering how RJ liked to see what would happen before it happened and at the last visit to the paediatrician Ray had ended up sitting on the examination table next to RJ with the doctor doing everything on him before RJ would allow it to be done to him. “Benji might be like RJ and want to see what you will do first before allowing you to check him.” Ray offered in way of explanation although it was not hard to see that it did not make sense to his brothers except for Jason who offered him a wry smile as he kept watch beyond the small sheltered circle that they found themselves in.

“Okay, you’ve lost me, but it’s worth a shot I guess.” Trent had no idea what made Ray come up with that but it was worth a try.

“Hey Benji, how about I take a look at Sonny then I will take a look at you?” Trent spoke to Benji hoping that it would calm the kid.

Benji looked up at Sonny once more and blinked a few times almost as if he was waiting for Sonny to make the decision.

Sonny was surprised at the way Benji had deferred to him. “Alright, that sounds like a good idea.” Sonny groused hating being examined but if it got the kid to be examined then he would do it.

Clay shook his head softly quietly amazed at Sonny’s paternal instincts that seemed to have come out the moment that Benji latched onto him back in that hut hours ago. “Trent, can he eat while he waits for his turn?” Clay had made sure that the MRE was hot enough for him without burning him recalling that Naima and Ray always plated their kids meals up a few minutes earlier to let them cool down a bit before they ate.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Trent answered even though his focus was on examining Sonny which worked in his favour as he was paler than usual but given what Clay had said it made sense.

Sonny let Trent work away instead he kept his eyes on Benji the whole time as Clay handed him the fork but kept hold of the MRE. All it took was a small nod from Sonny and the kid tucked into the packet of pasta and sauce as if it had been days since he had eaten after the first tentative bite although a soft but stern warning from Trent had Clay pulling the packet back so that he would chew and swallow his mouthful completely before putting the next forkful into his mouth. The whole time that Benji was eating he was watching Trent examine Sonny.

Trent was not concerned about Sonny as much as he thought he would need to be but there were still some precautions to take. “Want you to eat and drink something too before you rack out.” Trent spoke quietly having seen Ray already heating up several MRE’s for the rest of them as he pressed Sonny’s canteen into his hand. “Now little mister what do you think about letting me take a look at you?” Trent softened his voice as he gave Benji the water bottle that he had sipped from earlier hoping he would be thirsty after his meal and want to finish off the rest of the bottle as he had barely touched it.

“It’s okay bud, I will be right here.” Sonny’s words were the final persuasion that Benji needed it seemed as he gave Clay back his now licked clean fork since he had finished his dinner practically having inhaled it then took the water bottle from Trent and sucked it down greedily whilst allowing Trent to gently palpate his small body and raise his shirt to check for any more bruises but luckily there were no tender spots or areas of bruising although his skin was still cold to the touch.

Ray dispensed the heated MRE’s before he handed the last one to Sonny knowing it was one of his preferred flavours – Beef Ravioli in Meat Sauce – who juggled it in his free hand and said thanks.

Trent smiled at Benji as he finished up the examination pleased that there was no other sign of injury beside the bruised face. “Not a scratch or anything other than that bruise.” He reported seeing Jason turn away to report to HAVOC his findings. He lightly tickled him beneath his chin getting a small smile before he withdrew his hand completely and moved back to settle down on the ground against his own pack with his own MRE – Chicken, egg noodles and vegetables in sauce.

Benji licked his lips as he finished off the rest of the water bottle that Trent had given him before he began eyeing Sonny’s meal which did not go unnoticed by any of them including Sonny. “Want some more to eat little buddy?” Sonny asked already stabbing his fork into a piece of the ravioli and holding it out for Benji to eat.

Benji looked up at him for a few seconds before he returned his gaze to the piece of ravioli that Sonny was waggling around on the end of the fork. “Yes p-w-ease.” Benji spoke softly with a hint of shyness.

“Open up.” Sonny nodded his head amazed to hear the little boy speak. Benji did as he was told opening his mouth wide and Sonny fed him the piece of ravioli that was coated in meat sauce.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Jason muttered under his breath although he was extremely proud of Sonny as he watched him eat a piece of ravioli for himself before giving another piece to Benji, alternating this way until they were through the entire packaged meal.

“Sonn-ee?” Benji tugged on Sonny’s sleeve as a shiver ran through his body as he was still cold and in damp clothes.

Clay smiled as he reached out and took the empty packaging from Sonny’s hand freeing him up to deal with the boy who was finally beginning to feel safe around them.

Sonny knew that the meagre belongings they grabbed for Benji would barely be enough to hold him out for the remainder of the trek out especially if it kept raining like it had before. “Come here little buddy.” Sonny snagged the blanket that Trent had left on his shoulder, shook it at as best as he could before he tightly wrapped it around his small body.

Jason wished that they could take a bit longer but they needed to rest as much as they could before they would have to start moving again. “Guys, get some sleep.” Jason ordered knowing they would sort themselves out while he settled into take watch for the next two hours until he would swap out with Brock and Cerb.

Sonny slid down a little bit further although he was still resting comfortably against his pack. “Time to get some sleep little buddy.” Sonny moved Benji over so he was laid up higher on his stomach and his head was rested on his shoulder before he tucked the edge of the blanket around him once more wanting to keep him as warm as he could even though he was still wearing damp clothes. He waited until the boy’s breathing evened out before he even allowed his own eyelids to flutter closed as he fell into a light sleep.

Jason could not keep his eyes from returning to all of his men but mainly to one, to Sonny who was instinctually and amazingly cradling the sleeping boy against his own chest even as he rested. It was a different side of Sonny, one that he had seen on previous occasions, and one that he enjoyed seeing. Under that gruff exterior really was a heart of gold. Jason shook his head as he focused back on the task at hand which was making sure he kept his men safe while they rested as they all needed it.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock and Cerb rose quietly and moved over the sleeping bodies towards Jason. Brock stifled the snicker that threatened to escape his lips as he caught sight of what had Jason so amused; Sonny was holding tightly to Benji who apparently was a wiggly worm and Clay rolled further away so that he was not in striking distance of the kid’s feet that seemed to kick out on occasion having already caught him twice before.

Brock crouched down next to Jason who had the good grace to look back out over the rainforest. “I’ve got this watch Jay.” Brock kept his voice soft as Cerb settled down beside him after nudging Jason’s hand for a pat which he received.

Jason nodded wearily and withheld the yawn that wanted to work itself free. “Clay is up in two hours.” He informed Brock who nodded easily knowing that the previous night it had been Ray, Sonny and Trent that had kept watch while they slept for the few meagre hours that they got.

Jason knew he had to get some sleep and after another firm look at Brock he pushed himself up to his feet and meandered quietly to where he had rested his pack down earlier. He spared one last glance at his men before he settled himself down on the ground.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

By the time the first wisps of daylight began to peak through the thick foliage canopy Bravo had already been hiking for an hour or so, give or take a few minutes, as they wanted to cover as much distance as they could as none of them wanted to spend another night in the rainforest if it could be helped.

Despite the team’s best coaxing, Benji would not be separated from Sonny at all. They had all smirked and ducked their heads to hide their laughter when Benji had tugged on Sonny’s sleeve once Sonny had successfully pried him away from his chest and put him on the ground with his small hand encased safely in his. Sonny had looked down at Benji with a look of confusion at the kid’s restless jig that he seemed intent on doing before it dawned on him that he needed to relieve his small bladder. But the real kicker was when Sonny led the boy to the privacy of a tree and went to step away only for a meltdown to happen with the end result being that Sonny had to stand right next to him still holding his hand and avert his eyes while he peed. The boy was definitely attached to Sonny, and Sonny was so far out of his element yet at the same time oddly in his element.

Clay and Brock had the lead with Cerb out in front of them as they made their way through carving a path for the rest of the team. Trent was a few footsteps behind them. Sonny had been surprised when Benji felt comfortable enough to walk beside him as long as he held his hand tightly and had his teddy bear in the other with his bumblebee backpack secured on his shoulders, and they kept pace remaining within a few footsteps of Trent. Ray and Jason were the last ones to round out the group.

Ray shook his head wishing he had a camera to snap the sight in front of him as he watched Benji stumble on the uneven ground then right himself which made Sonny look down at him and smile which got him a bright smile back. It always amazed him how resilient kids were, and somehow he wondered if Benji had known that he would not be seeing his parents again as he had not asked about them once but he willed that thought away as he did not want the scene in front of him to be tainted.

Jason had not missed the wistful look or the small smile that tugged at Ray’s lips as they continued trekking through. “What are you thinking about?” Jason asked quietly so that they could not be overheard. It wasn’t often that Ray or any of his men looked serene whilst in the middle of an op.

Ray nodded his head towards Sonny and Benji. “Kind of wish we could capture the moment on camera.” It was a sight to behold, Sonny in all of his gear dressed head to toe in camo, while he held four year old Benji’s hand with his bumblebee backpack on his back.

Jason smiled softly understanding where Ray was coming from. “Kid’s been good for Sonny.” Sonny had not complained one bit since they had found Benji but that was just an added bonus.

Ray nodded and returned his gaze to the foliage around them still on alert for rebel forces and wildlife.

Sonny felt as Benji tugged on his arm and looked down just in time to see him point to the snake that had slithered into their path with a small ‘eek’ escaping him as his eyes widened. Sonny immediately scooped up Benji into his chest while simultaneously stepping back, almost jumping out of his skin when Jason placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Just us Sonny.” Jason was quick to reassure Sonny before he saw what had caused him to react. Jason reached up and keyed his radio knowing Ray had his gun trained on the snake as a precautionary measure as it seemed to be in no hurry to move from the path to alert Brock, Clay and Trent to stop which they did as they both took up watch positions.

“Jase…” Sonny swallowed thickly trying not to let the fear be heard for his sake as much as the kid’s but the sound of the snake hissing was unnerving him even more as its beady eyes looked their way as it halted in its slithering to do so.

“Just stay still Sonny.” Jason whispered sharply as he followed his own advice.

Sonny felt as though he had stopped breathing as he stood as still as he possibly could although he did not feel that he was still enough, and he could feel Benji shaking in his arms, clearly the boy felt the same as he did about snakes.

For a few agonising minutes all they could do was wait in a standoff before the snake finally began slithering again heading away from them.

Ray blew out a breath that he did not know he had been holding once the snake was tucked back into the foliage. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” Ray murmured as he took a look at Sonny seeing he had paled somewhat.

Sonny stuttered for a breath of air but he did not have to be told to get moving as he was already striding forward to catch up with Brock, Clay and Trent knowing that Jason and Ray were close behind. Sonny looked down at Benji whose eyes were still wide with fear as he had tucked himself back into his chest with his teddy clutched tightly between them. He did not have the heart to even try to put the boy down understanding the fear of snakes instead he began rubbing his back with his hand and held him a little tighter in the hopes that he would calm down.

Clay glanced over his shoulder as they began walking again, all of them even more hyper alert now because of their unsanctioned encounter with one of the rainforest’s deadlier residents. “You good brother?” He asked quietly seeing that Sonny’s pallor had yet to recover and seeing that Benji was just as terrified.

Sonny barely glanced up from Benji as Jason still had his hand on his shoulder and was guiding him through the rainforest. “We’re good, aren’t we little buddy.” It was a statement predicated on a falsity but none of them would call him out on it or tease him, this time at least.

A few questioning glances were exchanged around Sonny and Benji but no one said anything instead settling into silence as they continued to make progress trying to cover as much distance as possible without stopping. The last thing any of them wanted to do was spend another night in the rainforest as they all wanted to meet the trucks, return to their makeshift base, have a hot shower to get all of the built up grime and the stench off of their skin, then rack out on the plane ride home.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The sun was blaring through the canopy every chance it got and the humid air made them all sweat making their uniforms stick and cling uncomfortably to them. It was barely midday but they had been trekking for hours already, and while the canopy kept most of the sun off of them it still did not protect them from the soaring and suffocating heat.

Jason knew that they had covered more distance than even he had expected them too but he knew that they would not be able to continue the pace if they did not stop and take a small break just long enough to rehydrate and grab a granola bar to snack on soon. “Break in five mikes.” Jason spoke just loud enough for his voice to carry to Clay and Brock who were in the lead as he raised his hand to swipe at his sweat soaked forehead. It would also give him and Ray a chance to take a look at the map and check out how far they had to go before they reached their EXFIL point, and he hoped that they would be able to extrapolate the time that it would take them too. Truth was they were getting low on supplies, and on energy but they were not about to let themselves get caught out.

Jason turned his gaze to his 2IC. “We will take a look at the map, work out how far we can get before nightfall, see how far we are from our EXFIL point.” Jason knew that Ray would handle it.

Ray spared a brief glance at Jason before he continued to survey the surrounding rainforest. “We’ve already covered more ground than I expected when we looked before we set out this morning. We have to be getting close by the end of the day.” He had already done a set of calculations but even those had been exceeded but he knew that they were all desperate to get out of the rainforest. It was not how they had hoped that the mission would go but at least one of the family had made it out alive, and for that they had to be thankful.

Jason nodded but said nothing more as they continued to hike before Brock bought Cerb to a stop at what he and Clay had deemed an appropriate place to stop as it had adequate shelter which meant they were hard to spot and it was completely shaded by the thick overhead canopy. Everyone knew it would be a quick stop.

Clay walked over and stood in front of Sonny seeing the dilemma on his brother’s face. “You have got to put him down brother, get him and yourself to eat and drink.” Clay kept his voice soft but firm understanding that seeing the snake had rattled Sonny and Benji but they needed to take a few moments to hydrate and snack as it would be a long afternoon otherwise.

Sonny knew that he had to put Benji down so he could shrug out of his pack and grab the kid a bottle of water before grabbing his own canteen and a couple of granola bars out but it felt horrible to do. “Hey little buddy, you and me are going to sit down right here for a few minutes.” Sonny knelt down then carefully set Benji down on his feet feeling as the boy tensed momentarily. Benji pulled away from Sonny and looked around wearily at the forest before his eyes darted between Sonny and Cerb as his hand clutched at the fabric of Sonny’s shirt by his shoulder. Sonny kept his hand on Benji’s back and shrugged his pack off with some difficulty before he began riffling through it.

Brock smiled as he watched Benji timidly gaze at Cerb then back to Sonny repeatedly. Brock had kept Cerb away from Benji purely for the fact that he did not want him to feel overwhelmed and he had no idea how he would react to Cerb but now seemed like a good of time as any to introduce them. “Cerb, go see Sonny.” Brock murmured quietly seeing Trent catch what he had said and smile at him.

Cerb stood up, doggy stretched into the downward dog position then closed the distance between him, Sonny and Benji. He reached Sonny’s side and laid down panting as the heat was getting to the fur missile too.

Sonny set his canteen and a water bottle down beside him before he grabbed two granola bars hesitating as he doubted the kid would like them but they did not have time to heat an MRE nor did they have enough of them left. He felt as Cerb nudged his leg and looked up at him with his big brown puppy dogs eyes and quickly reached out to scratch the dogs head.

“Puppy!” Benji smiled, his tone almost a happy squeal, as he carefully lowered himself to the ground onto his knees sitting back on his heels, and looked over to Brock who nodded once granting permission for him to pat him. Benji very cautiously put his small hand out and stopped; whoever had taught him that did so well.

“It’s okay, you can pat him.” Sonny had not stopped patting Cerb who belly crawled forward to reach Benji’s still hand until he had his head nudged under it. Benji patted very softly, his little fingers running beside Sonny’s larger ones. After a few more pats Sonny retracted his hand, picked up the water bottle, opened the pop top and held it out to Benji. Benji maintained the steady rhythm that he had set patting Cerb instead choosing to slide onto his hip and rest against Sonny once he had let go of his shirt then took the bottle and began sipping from it. It seemed that as long as there was some sort of physical contact between Sonny and Benji then the kid was content.

Brock smiled before he felt his leg be nudged by a booted foot and he shifted his attention to Trent. “Good choice brother.” Trent praised him knowing how perceptive he was.

Brock shook his head at Trent’s praise. “Cerb needs it as much as Benji does.” Brock knew that Cerb was trained to work and for endurance but this mission was taking a long time and there had been no play or cuddles which the dog was also accustomed too.

Trent nodded knowing what Brock was not saying. “Davis will be waiting to spoil him and the kid once we get back to the plane.” Trent smirked as he could already see that Lisa would make sure they were both spoilt that little bit extra. Brock just smiled and shook his head knowing that between Lisa and Clay that Cerb was certainly the definition of a spoiled pup but he loved that they cared enough to do it for him.

Sonny let Benji take a few large mouthfuls before he swapped out the bottle of water for one of the granola bars he had opened for him. Benji was so focused on petting Cerb that he did not even look at what had been put in his hand to eat. Sonny had to stop himself from laughing as he watched Benji bite off a big bite of the bar and begin to chew it only to screw up his little nose and send a look of utter betrayal towards him. “They are not that bad little buddy.” Sonny tapped him on the nose softly as he took a bite out of his own bar; he hated granola bars, the texture and the taste, but they were filling and nutritious, and what they had an abundance of left in their packs.

No one missed the interaction, not even Ray and Jason who were looking over the map while speaking with HAVOC. If they continued at the pace they had been travelling at and took a slight deviation in their path then they should arrive at the EXFIL point just after nightfall. They still had a fair way to travel by road once they met the trucks that would be driven by two of their support personnel but at least they would be tucked up on the plane flying home just after midnight give or take a half hour or so that would allow them to shower and change before they got on the plane.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny was surprised at Benji’s determination as he continued to trudge along beside him tucked safely into his side with his hand held tightly in his. They had finished their break and began walking again over four hours ago and other than an odd noise here and there or a soft gasp as the boy spotted another animal that he had to point out to Sonny, he was largely quiet.

Jason dropped back to settle at Sonny’s right side, the one that was not occupied by the small clingy boy, allowing Ray to take over leading them. “You alright brother?” Jason kept his voice low as Sonny had been unusually docile, hell there had not been a single comment about his fear and hatred for the jungle or in this case rainforest, but then again none of them had been trying to wind him up either as it would not be fair on Benji.

Sonny looked at Bravo 1 with a furrowed brow at his question before his attention was pulled abruptly as Benji tripped and tugged on his arm. “Shi… sugar!” Sonny managed to stop himself from cursing but only barely as he knelt down immediately as Benji looked up at him with big glassy hazel eyes and his bottom lip was quivering. “Come on little buddy, lets get you up.” Sonny easily lifted Benji up onto his feet seeing the small bloodied patch on the knee of his pants before he saw that he had landed on the sharp edge of a broken tree root that was protruding from out of the muddy ground. Nor did he miss that his teddy bear was covered in a light layer of mud, oh well, he was sure they could get it cleaned for him.

Trent was at Sonny’s side in seconds, knelt down beside him, as the rest of the men took up defensive stances around them. “Let me take a look.” Trent had not missed the small but growing patch of blood on his pants.

“Let me get him up.” Sonny barely had the words out before he scooped Benji up into his arms, having his arm tucked under his knees and pressed against his stomach so it looked like he was sitting as he rose to his own feet as kneeling down in the slimy mud was not comfortable.

Trent smiled and stood up just as Brock turned around and held out his hand for his pack so that he could access it easy and it did not have to sit on the ground and get covered in mud. “Okay Benji, I am just going to take a look at your knee.” Trent gently rolled his pant leg up to just above his knee seeing that he had a small laceration just below his knee that was bleeding quite a bit.

“Trent fixes all of us little dude.” Clay offered supportively having seen the way Benji cowered back against Sonny.

Benji looked from Trent to Clay wide eyed. Yeah, those eyes would get him anything he wanted. “He does?” There was such awe in the boy’s voice that it made them all smile.

Clay smiled broadly seeing that Trent was pulling out an antiseptic wipe before he handed Brock a plaster to hold knowing that it was best to distract him from what was about to be done. “Yeah little dude he does. He even helps Cerb. Kind of like Doctor Doolittle.” Clay snickered at the glare that Trent sent his way for the Doctor Doolittle comment but they all knew that any time Brock found a stray dog or cat, hell he even found a goat once, that Trent played vet from time to time before they were handed off to actual vets. And they all knew that after Cerb had got the deep laceration to his leg that Trent had not only taken a special first aid course for animals but had made a special first aid kit for Cerb.

“Wow!” Benji exclaimed genuinely amused.

Trent shook his head as he made a mental note to get payback for the Doctor Doolittle comment from Clay but his distraction had worked as Benji had not even flinched as he worked to clean up the small laceration. “All done.” Trent soothed the edges of the plaster down before he shoved the rubbish back into his pack and took it back from Brock then shouldered it again as Sonny gently pulled the pant leg back down to cover him up.

“T-f-ank you.” Benji offered timidly struggling to pronounce the ‘th’ but it made him sound quite cute before he managed to twist himself around in Sonny’s arms, clinging to him once more as he pressed his face into his neck.

“You done walkin’ for the day little buddy?” Sonny asked although he was already impressed by how far Benji had walked on his little legs without complaint and without dawdling. Benji nodded his head tiredly as a yawn escaped his lips that Sonny felt. Sonny chuckled softly before he rested his chin down on top of his head as they began moving again through the rainforest quickly picking up the pace that they had been going at all day.

“Looks like he is quite content to nap while being carried.” Clay murmured softly although he must admit that a nap sounded like a brilliant idea about now.

Brock chuckled softly. “Jealous Spense?” The look of indignation that was tossed his way only made Brock smirk more.

“Like you don’t want a nap Brock.” Clay shot back knowing that they would most likely all be racked out on the plane within minutes of taking off.

The sound of rustling had them shutting up very quickly as they all scanned the nearby foliage. “Rhino, mom and baby.” Brock pointed out seeing the pair grazing just off in the distance from them. It was clear that the baby was fairly young but it appeared in good health from what he could see. He relaxed Cerb’s leash a little bit more as he had tightened it when they had first heard the rustling.

“Best we don’t disturb them. Come on.” Jason kept his voice low as the last thing he wanted to do was have to write a report on how one of his men got hurt due to an overprotective Mama rhino. He could already see the report and hear the snickers that would go around DEVGRU if a rhino hurt one of them.

“Right you are boss.” Sonny did not like his chances with a rhino even though they were several feet away from them.

If Jason did not know of Sonny’s dislike for the rainforest then he would have questioned his need to carry on but then again none of them wanted to remain there any longer than they had too.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

It was official – Bravo and rainforests did not mix. Sure it was in the name but did it really have to rain so much and so heavily, Jason thought wryly as he swiped his hand over his face to brush off some of the water off although there was no point as he was coated immediately as the rain lashed them all again. Jason had settled at the back of the group with Ray leading them closer to their EXFIL point after they had stopped for another quick break to hydrate although Sonny had had the displeasure of waking Benji up who was disgruntled but he managed to get a few sips of water into him before he pressed his small face back into his neck but did not go back to sleep. Jason felt as tired as his men but they were so close and night had begun to fall so they dug deep and hurried their pace as HAVOC finally got them back on ISR as the canopy became more open. But of course nothing could go as smoothly as their trek out had gone so far.

“TOC to Bravo 1.” Eric’s voice came over the COMMS and had them all halting.

“Bravo 1 to TOC, good copy.” Jason answered hating the rain more and more as he swore it got heavier.

“You have a force of at least ten coming towards you, unable to ascertain if friendly or unfriendly.” Eric informed them although he was fairly certain that they would not be friendlies.

“Copy HAVOC.” Jason knew that they had all heard as they were all taking up defensive positions, hell even Sonny had his gun raised while holding Benji tightly against his chest. Jason did a double take wondering when Sonny had wrapped a blanket around Benji and his backpack but now was not the time to ask. ISR was a true gift but Jason wished that he could see it as well as TOC. Jason had a choice to make, to engage or not to engage first, to divert and conceal or not too. Jason deliberated for no more than a few seconds before deciding to wait and see as the last thing he wanted to do was engage when they had Benji to protect.

Using several hand signals Jason relayed to his team what he wanted to do which was to get low, huddle down, and wait and see. If they had to engage then they would as they had the clearance but the last thing he wanted to do was engage in a shootout this close to EXFIL, not with a young child under their protection. Jason looked around at his team seeing that Ray had huddled down beside him, while Trent was grouped with Brock and Cerb, and Clay had placed himself in front of and just off to the side of Sonny so that Benji was entirely concealed and protected.

Ray keyed his radio as the first man came into view through the scope of his gun not far from them, and it was easy to see that they were unfriendly as they belonged to the rebel faction that was currently running through the rainforest destroying everything and killing anyone that they came across. Ray signalled towards the faction as three more men came into view armed with machetes, knifes, and a few old rifles that looked more dormant than functioning in one hand and what looked to be some sort of alcohol in large old glass bottles in the other that they were all sipping out of.

Ray, Clay, Brock and Trent sighted in on the four men while Jason scanned through the foliage seeing the rest of the group meander into view. A quick count revealed that it was fourteen men. They held still hoping like hell that the men would pass by without detecting them.

Sonny hoped that Benji would remain completely quiet and still as he had been before as he tightened his hold on him a little bit more as he folded his body around him as much as he could.

Ray kept his gun trained on the guy holding the largest machete who was also the closest to them as they were going to pass right by them, within touching distance. Everyone had their fingers poised on the triggers of their weapons, ready to engage if they needed. The only saving grace was the thick foliage of the rainforest that provided them coverage and allowed them to eclipse back into the shadows.

After a few tense minutes a collective exhale of air was released and fingers were slowly eased off the triggers as the group of unfriendly men moved past them without detection. The men did not hesitate to get moving as they were losing the light fast and they still had at least ninety minutes of hiking ahead of them before they met the trucks that Eric had advised were on route to them.

Sonny felt as Benji shivered against him despite the blanket being tightly wound around him to try and keep some of the rain off of him and that distracted him enough that a large branch swung back into his face, he felt as the sharp edge caught his cheek making him curse aloud and had all of his brothers looking back at them except for Jason who was trailing behind him.

“You okay?” Trent asked although the near darkness made it hard to see if Sonny was bleeding as the rain was pelting down on them washing them down.

Sonny swiped a hand over his face. “Fine, just get me the hell out of this damn rainforest.” He groused angrily that he had gotten hit in the face by a branch although he was glad that it had not caught Benji.

“I think we are all with you there brother.” Jason definitely agreed with Sonny’s point that the rainforest was not a fun place to be before he looked at Benji who had woken up as his eyelids fluttered as he pulled his head back from Sonny’s neck instead settling his chin on his shoulder to look back at Jason. “Hey kid, it’s okay.” Jason assured him softly as he snuggled closer to Sonny’s chest. The kid had held up remarkably well for being all of four years old and freshly orphaned but it had taken its toll on him as he was exhausted, cold, soaked through thanks to the torrential rain that did not want to give them a reprieve, and had barely had anything to eat. And then there was the unknown which was that they had no idea what he had witnessed or how long it had been since he ate or drunk before they got to him. Jason could not imagine how terrified the boy had been and still was but one thing he did know was that he had become attached to Sonny in the short time that they had spent with him. The fact was that once they landed stateside then the boy would be handed off, to who Jason did not yet know, but he knew that it would not be easy on Benji or Sonny however they would deal with it when the time came because for now the young boy deserved to feel safe.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The headlights of the waiting trucks cut through the edge of the rainforest as Bravo broke free of the rainforest and entered the clearing where they were sitting idling and waiting. It was such a welcome sight even as the rain continued to fall down heavily around them. One of the members of Bravo’s support, Riley, came jogging over to them, and it seemed even his Navy issued parka was no match for the rain. “It’s going to be a rough ride as the rain is making the roads even worse. We had to take a longer detour as the road we were going to use washed out. We need to get moving. Coffee, towels and warmed blankets as well as dry clothes are all inside ready for you.” Riley informed them as he jogged over with them as they got to the vehicles. Jason, Ray and Trent ended up in the first vehicle with Riley driving, while Clay, Brock and Cerb, Sonny and Benji all ended up in the second vehicle with Lachlan, another member of support. The doors were barely shut and the vehicles were already pulling out, lurching on the slippery unsealed ground that the country had to offer.

Clay dumped his pack down then helped Sonny take his off while Brock peeled the soaked blanket off of Benji and dumped it in the foot-well of the truck grateful for the heater being on full as the hot air filled the space. Brock threw one of the towels over Cerb but it was pointless as like all of them he was covered in mud and needed a hot soapy bath to work all of the clumped mud out of his fur.

Sonny looked down at Benji as Clay and Brock awkwardly changed out of their clothes, towelled off as best they could, then pulled on the fresh clothes that would have only been provided for them by Lisa as she would have stocked the vehicles. “Let’s get your backpack off.” Sonny reached out and pulled Benji’s arms through the straps then let the bag drop down onto the ground in between his feet hoping that at least one of the sets of clothes that Clay had stuffed into the bag were dry enough for him to get changed into as they could not leave him in his damp clothes.

Clay pulled the dry shirt down until it was in place before he grabbed the towel and rubbed it over his damp hair trying to dry it a bit more as droplets of water were still dripping off his locks and onto his face. A quick glance around the truck made him realise that Brock was relatively dry and changed while Cerb was smothered in a towel as if he was a doggy burrito already dozing on the floor at their feet but Sonny had yet to change as he still had his arms full with Benji. “Sonny, give him here. Brock and I will get him dried off while you do the same.” He had no idea how the kid would react but he was not going to let either of them continue to freeze and sit in soaking wet clothes when they did not have too. “Brock, there should be some clothes in his backpack, I packed him some.” He said as he arranged another towel over his lap ready to receive Benji.

Sonny hesitated but he knew that they both needed to get dried and changed even with the heat blasting around them. “Right little buddy, I am going to give you to Clay for just a few minutes so he and Brock can get you dried and out of those yucky clothes.” He told Benji before he very gently shifted him onto Clay’s lap which he did not like one bit as he reached to grab at him but Clay countered by jiggling his leg up and down making him giggle softly although he kept his eyes firmly on Sonny who worked quickly to strip down to his boxers, dry himself off then change into the dry clothes that awaited him.

Brock frowned as he dug through the kid’s backpack, sure the bag was waterproof but not for torrential and prolonged rain, and everything was damp. It was also not helped by the addition of the muddy and soggy teddy bear that had been put in there after the kid had fallen over. “Is there a spare jersey or something?” Brock asked hoping that there was something in the pile that they could at least cover Benji with and he was sure that the kid would not care if it dwarfed him. “Everything is damp.”

Clay had helped Benji strip off his soaking shirt and pants before he wrapped a towel around him and began drying him even as he looked over at Brock. The kid was remarkably docile and Clay could see the relief once he was out of his heavy clothes which were now dumped in a pile on the floor with the rest of their stuff.

Sonny went to curse but quickly alternated to something that was a little bit more friendly for small ears seeing that Benji was still watching him and reaching out for him even going as far as overbalancing himself and if it had not been for Clay’s hand resting over top of his towel covered stomach he would have toppled right off. Sonny managed to arch and lean forward and look through the pile finding a long sleeved shirt that would work. He sat back and took Benji back although he sat him on his knee so that they could get him dressed before he would allow him to settle under one of the warmed blankets.

Clay took the shirt from Sonny and then stopped as he looked from Benji to the shirt. “How the hell, heck, did this work out? Jason and Ray have kids yet they are both in the front vehicle.” Clay corrected his slip up but not in time as he wondered how the hell they were meant to dress the kid who was a trembling mess as he was freezing. None of them had experience at dressing young kids.

Brock smirked at Clay’s exclamation but he had a fair point, none of them were child rearing experts. “Arms up Benji.” Brock figured it was the best thing to try and he barely withheld his smirk as Benji raised his arms up and Clay narrowed his eyes at him. “Give it here.” Brock swiped the shirt out of Clay’s hands, rolled it up then worked Benji’s arms into the sleeves before pulling it over his head and then down the rest of the way.

“Something you care to share Brock?” Clay asked as he watched Sonny wrap one of the warmed blankets around Benji before he let himself tuck back into his chest.

Brock shook his head as he eased back into the seat and draped one of the warmed blankets over his lap knowing it would suffice until they got back to their temporary base and got into the shower where hopefully the hot water would be able to rid him of the cold he felt completely. Brock was not about to share that he had observed Ray say that to RJ once at one of the picnics they had after he had gotten soaked as he had run through the sprinklers more than a couple of times before Ray or Naima could wrangle him into his swim shorts.

Sonny relaxed back into the seat, sliding down just a little bit, and closed his eyes once he was sure that Benji was settled although he knew he was not sleeping as the silence settled over them only being jarred when they hit a pothole that was enough to make them rise off of their seats.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Eric and Lisa descended down the slippery metal staircase as the headlights illuminated the muddy road both relieved that Bravo had made it back and that the rain had stopped again. The vehicles stopped and outpoured the men of Bravo all looking worse for wear as the exhaustion was evident.

Lisa felt her eyes widen as she watched as Clay got out of the truck then turned back to help Sonny out who was cradling four year old Benji in his arms with Brock and Cerb following behind closely.

Eric raised an eyebrow questioningly at Jason waiting for an explanation as to why Sonny was the one holding the boy they had rescued.

Jason did not miss the look of shock that appeared as quickly as it disappeared on Eric’s face as he stopped in front of him. “Kid won’t let go of him.” Jason supplied before he moved past him and Lisa wanting to get a hot shower before anything else.

Eric was dumbfounded and there were few times that he had been before. “I want all of you to go inside, get showered and changed then get on the plane. You have thirty minutes.” Eric waved support forward to take care of the vehicles as well as the guys gear that they had shed.

Lisa stepped forward until she was right in front of Sonny. “Let me take him and Cerb, get them both bathed.” She said softly knowing that Brock would take Cerb into the shower with him if he had too but she had secured a tub that would do for Benji and for Cerb. She reached out to take Benji but was surprised as Sonny shook his head stopping her and making her frown. Hell she had even enlisted Mandy who she knew was running hot water into the tub as they spoke.

Sonny knew that Lisa would take care of Benji and of Cerb but he was not just about to hand him over. “Benji this is my friend Lisa.” Sonny very gently pried Benji away from him and turned him around so he could see Lisa. It was not hard to see that the young boy was exhausted, overtired, and still freezing cold. “Can you say hi to her?”

Benji looked from Sonny to Lisa. “Hi Lisa.” Benji spoke shyly giving her a apprehensive smile.

Lisa swore her heart melted as she watched Sonny interact with Benji. “Hi honey.” She replied softly realising what Sonny was doing.

“Lisa is going to take you and give you a nice warm bath. Cerb is going to stay with you the entire time.” Sonny explained softly hoping that Benji would allow it.

Benji looked from Sonny back to Lisa a few times before he settled on Sonny. “Back to you?” He asked innocently and far to timidly.

Sonny smiled and bopped Benji’s cold red tipped nose eliciting a small giggle from him. “Yip. Lisa will bring you and Cerb back once you are clean then we all get to fly home together.” Sonny explained with as much simplicity as he could to the four year old.

Benji wrinkled his nose before he smiled softly and reached out to Lisa. “Okay.” It was as simple as that.

The paternal side of Sonny Quinn was one of the most endearing and sweetest things that Lisa may have ever seen in her entire life as she reached out and took Benji from Sonny’s arms resting him on her hip with her arm wrapped securely around him before she reached her free hand out and took Cerb’s leash from Brock’s hand. Lisa turned on her feet and headed inside with one of the support members holding the door open for her.

Sonny smiled and shook his head at the maternal side of Lisa. Clay slapped his hand down on Sonny’s shoulder. “Come on brother, lets go get showered ourselves.” Clay gave him a small push to get him moving.

Lisa felt as Benji’s small fingers flicked the ends of her hair as she carried him through the building with Cerb at her side until she got to the room where the tub was located. “Benji, this is Mandy.” Mandy whirled around as she had been looking out the window watching as the men arrived back while the tub filled with hot water although she had added some cold so that it was not searing hot.

“Hi.” Benji offered tiredly.

Mandy smiled glad that they had gotten the boy out alive and relatively unscathed. “They all good?” She asked as she moved forward and began to get Cerb out of his vest which was relatively easy.

“Cold, dirty and tired but they are okay.” Lisa understood the need to know, it was something the two women could agree on easily and both knew the relief that it bought each and every time. Lisa sat Benji down on the edge of the sink before she peeled off the blanket and revealed what it was uncovering.

“Really?” Mandy couldn’t help the mirth in her voice as she spied what the guys had changed Benji into seeing that Lisa was smiling too. She got the vest off of Cerb who immediately sprang free and jumped into the tub splashing water over the edge and onto the floor making Benji brighten and laugh.

Lisa laughed as she took the shirt off of Benji in one easy tug then dropped it down on top of the blanket that was piled on the floor knowing that one of the support staff would collect it once they were finished. “You want to join Cerb?” Lisa asked Benji, glad that the boy was smiling despite having lost both of his parents, and knowing that she and Mandy would have to bathe them then refill the tub and re-bathe him and Cerb again to make sure that all of the mud was gone. Benji nodded enthusiastically which was all the answer Lisa needed, and although she hesitated to remove the boy’s underwear she knew that he needed them off but Benji beat her to it as he wriggled and lifted then shucked them down his legs and kicked them away with his feet. “Come on then.” Lisa lifted him into her arms again, crossed the small room and then put him down into the tub as he received a lick to the face from Cerb who had rolled himself around so that he was soaked from nose to tail.

Mandy laid a towel down on the floor in front of the tub then went down on her knees only for Lisa to join her a few seconds later. Mandy quickly draped a flannel over Benji’s groin before she turned her attention to Cerb who was happy to lounge in the hot water. “How long have we got?” Mandy asked as she looked over both Cerb and Benji then to the brown tinged water seeing that there was mud still clinging to Cerb’s fur while Benji had mud caked into the crevasses of his hands, under his nails and behind his ears. Either way they were going to need at least two soap and rinse cycles each.

“Thirty minutes.” Lisa answered as she grabbed the shampoo for Cerb and passed it to Mandy before she grabbed the kid’s apple scented shampoo that she had collected.

“Then lets get to work.” Mandy smiled as she popped the top open on the shampoo and poured a large amount out into the palm of her hand then put the bottle down and began to lather up Cerb.

Lisa smiled as she followed Mandy’s action with the shampoo for Benji and began scrubbing her fingers through Benji’s hair. Benji smiled, giggling every so often, as he tilted his head back into Lisa’s hands enjoying her actions. Lisa and Mandy exchanged glances and smiles knowing that time was ticking and they needed to get them cleaned and dried.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Eric glanced at his watch before he looked down towards the ramp of the plane before he looked back at the men of Bravo who had all made it onto the plane with several minutes to spare. They had all sat down with a hot meal and beer which they were tucking into heartily. However that was not what had Eric looking at his watch; what had him looking from his watch to the back of the plane was the fact that he was still missing Lisa, Mandy, Cerb and the kid that Bravo had bought back.

“Blackburn, sit down, you are making me nervous.” Jason was not nervous but he did not like someone else incessantly pacing in his line of sight.

Eric huffed but sat down next to Jason before he looked around at the men who all looked like they needed their hammocks hours ago. “How long does it take to bathe a kid and Cerb?” Eric groused even as Jason uncapped a beer and handed him it.

Brock chuckled softly but it was enough to draw everyone’s attention as they finished off their meals.

“What?” Trent asked unable to keep the amusement out of his voice as he wondered why Brock was chuckling.

“I am pretty sure Cerb is part fish.” Brock answered knowing how much he loved his baths.

Sonny’s attention was diverted as a flurry of activity descended upon the plane. “Here they are… what the…” Sonny trailed off as he watched Cerb bound towards them as Mandy walked beside Lisa who had Benji settled on her hip as she carried him but what surprised him was what Benji was wearing – a pair of flannelette pyjamas that were blue with a variety of dinosaurs on them.

Lisa smiled down at Benji seeing him perk up as he spotted Sonny and he began to squirm in her arms as he wanted to go back to Sonny. She had thought that Benji had settled down as the hot water had made him sleepy but not tired enough to settle down until he was back with Sonny. “Okay honey, okay.” Lisa spoke softly hoping to calm Benji down until they got to the men.

Clay cocked his head to the side that rivalled Cerb’s as he looked at Benji or more specifically what he was dressed in now that he was bathed. “Are those… flannelette pyjamas?” He asked as Lisa and Mandy reached them, and Lisa handed Benji back to Sonny who happily took him.

Lisa smiled as she sat next to Clay while Mandy sat next to Jason. “Yes they are.” Lisa smiled adoringly watching as Benji shuffled around until he was comfortable as he laid stomach to stomach on Sonny then pressed his face into Sonny’s neck and tucked his hands under him.

“How the hell did you get those?” Ray asked before he could stop himself as they were new and just about the perfect size.

Lisa threw a quick glance at him before she turned back to watch Sonny who took the blanket that Eric offered and draped it around Benji without disturbing him.

Ray raised his hand up, the one that was not holding his beer. “Stupid question.” He still wanted to know but he knew better than to question Davis and her ways.

Sonny looked up having seen that Benji’s eyelids were fluttering as he fought off going to sleep but he doubted it would be long before he settled now that he was dry, warm and in a cosy pair of pyjamas. “Has he eaten?” Sonny asked softly with his Texan drawl on full display knowing that a granola bar and a few sips of water was all that he had eaten since they had begun trekking before the sun had even risen which was several hours ago.

Mandy smiled at the sweet side of Sonny and the way he was caring for Benji. “No, he hasn’t had anything to eat.” She answered him knowing that they had taken the full thirty minutes to bathe and dry him and Cerb off, having let the two play and splash in the water for a few minutes after they were both perfectly clean and the water was clear of mud before they had dried them off.

“I will get him something.” Clay was already up on his feet and heading off to the crate where the containers of hot food were sat.

“There should be a container with a ‘k’ on it Clay.” Lisa called knowing she had ordered a meal that she hoped with be kid friendly seeing him nod in acknowledgement.

Sonny smiled as he looked down at Benji until Clay returned holding the meal container that was labelled with a ‘k’ on it and a pop top water bottle that was cold as he had pulled it from the chilly bin. “Here.” Clay held out both to Sonny which he took with a bit of a juggle before he rested the container on top of his thigh and set the bottle down beside him.

“What did you get him?” Ray asked as he reached forward and opened the container then pulled out the fork out seeing some sort of pasta with a side of fruit.

“It’s cauliflower mac n cheese with a side of fruit.” Lisa had tried to get something healthy but filling and comforting at the same time.

“You got the kid fruit and vegetables?” Sonny screwed up his nose at the idea of cauliflower mac n cheese, and that was on top of the side of fruit. It just did not seem fair. However even Sonny had to admit that it did smell good, and it got Benji’s attention as he turned his head towards the container. “You want some kid?” He asked and a rumble from his little stomach answered his question. He took the fork from Ray and held it out to Benji but he showed no interest in feeding himself as he kept his hands tucked securely between his and Sonny’s bodies. “Okay, alright.” He answered as he got a forkful of the cauliflower mac n cheese then raised it to Benji’s mouth who quickly ate it with gusto.

“Is that good honey?” Lisa had leaned forward as he finished his second mouthful and reached out to brush her hand over the back of his head wishing that she had been able to get his hair a bit drier before they had to board the plane.

“Yes thank you.” Benji yawned once he had replied but he still opened his mouth for another mouthful that Sonny had already prepared.

Eric watched the scene in front of him, always amazed at how the men of Bravo melted in the presence of children, before he finished his beer and stood up. “Take off is in ten minutes.” Eric informed them before he moved away to make sure that everything was in order for their departure.

Mandy watched Eric’s retreating figure before she turned back to the men around her, and to Lisa and Benji. She reached out and placed her hand on Jason’s wrist, the one holding his beer, as he turned to look at her. “You should all get some sleep. Lisa and I can keep an eye on the little guy while you do.” Mandy kept her voice soft although even as she spoke she wondered whether they could really pry Benji away from Sonny as she knew that neither her or Lisa had the heart too.

Jason smiled tiredly as the fatigue had gotten to him now that he was settled on the plane with the hot shower and meal having satisfied him. “Don’t think the kid will settle without Sonny.” Jason answered although he was grateful that Mandy had offered. “But you are right about us all needing sleep.” However there were still a few things on Jason’s mind.

Mandy had known Jason long enough to know that there was something other than the failure to save Benji’s parents plaguing him but she also knew it was a delicate balance to get him to open up. “What else is on your mind Jason?”

Jason’s eyes betrayed him as he glanced over at Benji who was still eating as Sonny continued to feed him as he made his way through the mountain of cauliflower mac n cheese that was in the container. “What is going to happen to him once we land?” Sooner or later the question would be asked, and although Jason was not ready for the answer he still needed to know.

Mandy pursed her lips as she followed Jason’s gaze before she smiled softly and turned back to look at him. “I spoke to Maya’s parents, his grandparents. They will meet us on base with a social worker.” Mandy saw the look of alarm that flittered over Jason’s face at the term ‘social worker’. “He will be going home with his grandparents, a social worker is merely a formality to make sure the transition goes smoothly given all that he may have been through.”

Jason nodded his head before he looked past Mandy and around his men knowing that they would eventually drift to where their hammocks were already hung instead of being ordered to once the plane was in the air.

Mandy leaned forward and squeezed Jason’s wrist making him look back at her. “You did good Jason, you and the team. It was not the outcome that we wanted but at least we got that sweet little boy out. He had no choice in going to live in the middle of a rainforest that rebel forces patrolled. Take it as a win Jason.” She assured him hoping that he understood what she was getting at.

“Yeah.” It was said breathily but Mandy could hear the doubt even in the single word but she also knew better than to push it instead she turned her attention back to Sonny and Benji.

Sonny chuckled softly as Benji finished his meal, fruit and all, and snuggled closer to him although it was not possible given how tightly curled into him he already was. Sonny absentmindedly tugged on the edge of the blanket and pulled it around him a little more even though he knew that he would move once they were in the air. He looked across to Lisa and smiled at her. “What else did you get him?” Sonny asked knowing her and knowing that if she managed to secure him pyjamas then she would have got him a few other things.

Lisa raised an eyebrow at him as she leaned back against the netting of the seat before she raised her beer bottle to her lips and took a mouthful. “Couldn’t let him run around in the shirt you guys put him in.” She settled on that answer not missing the way Brock looked away or the sharp intake of breath from Clay which told her who dressed him like that.

“In our defence, the kid was soaked and needed something dry.” Brock held his hands up in a surrendering manner making Trent, Ray and Jason laugh while Mandy just shook her head amused.

“And all the dads were in the other vehicle. We worked the problem!” Clay was quick to add as he sent a pointed look towards Ray and Jason before he shrugged.

“Don’t look at me! It’s been years since I helped my kids get dressed. That is definitely our 2IC’s current area of expertise.” Jason was quick to withdraw himself from the job of dressing young children as his kids were grown. Although he did recall how difficult it could be sometimes to get young kids dressed as they squirmed and were highly uncoordinated.

Ray glared at Jason but he knew that he was right as RJ still needed help getting dressed but it definitely was not something that Ray would call himself skilled at as half the time he ended up with chasing RJ around the house while the kid managed to strip himself of whatever Ray had managed to get on him before he made his break. “RJ ends up running around the house naked when I try to dress him. Naima is the expert at getting him dressed, not me.” Ray would gladly admit that Naima excelled in something that he did not. “And anyway it will only be a matter of time before one of you has one of your own.” He could not help it as he looked from Clay to Brock and Trent and then to Sonny, and he did not miss the blanching from all of them.

“Something you know that we don’t Ray?” Mandy questioned him having not missed the men’s reactions.

“Nope, not at all.” Ray smirked as he shook his head as he wondered if his brothers had realised that they all seemed to be at the point where they were starting to look to settle down, or settle down as much as being a Tier One Operator would afford them. There were subtle notes and patterns that had changed within the men but as far as Ray was concerned it was a good thing.

Clay did not say anything but the smile that tugged at his lips told them enough as his tired eyes sparkled with mischief. “A mini version of all of us… damn that is kind of a scary thought.”

“And why is that blondie?” Oh Sonny was going to bite as he could see the trouble sparking.

“Think about it Sonny…” Clay waved his hands around. “Brock’s kid would have every dog under their command yet be able to sneak up and scare the hell out of all of us. Trent’s kid would be scarily attracted to weapons and rocket launchers, and sure would know how to use them. And well your kid would be damn ornery, would not like any other kids.” He concluded snickering.

Lisa could imagine little versions of each of the men who did not have children knowing that Mikey already had some of Jason’s hot headedness but was tempered by Alana’s ease, while RJ already had some of Ray’s mannerisms perfected. “And what about your kid Clay?” She asked wondering what he would answer. Clay shrugged and looked at Lisa as he remained silent.

“Hey, what do you mean my kid would not like any other kids?” Sonny’s offended question had them all chuckling.

“Hate to break it to you Son but you can be a bit prickly with people.” Ray knocked his knee against Sonny’s.

“It takes you a while to warm up to people brother.” Trent offered recalling how Sonny often was disdainful towards people that he did not like upon their first meeting.

“I like people!” Sonny protested making everyone chuckle again.

“Strippers don’t count brother.” Trent was quick to point out earning a slap from Lisa as she reached across Clay to administer it. “What was that for?”

Lisa merely pointed a finger at Benji as discussing strippers around him was inappropriate even if he was asleep.

Sonny shook his head. “I like all of you.” He said as if that was going to make his point.

“You didn’t at first.” Clay was quick to point out as he could remember Sonny’s visceral condemnation and hatred of him when he first joined Bravo.

Sonny shook his head knowing that Clay did have a point and he wanted to disagree with him but he couldn’t.

“Alright, alright, enough.” Jason calmed things down as he could see Benji beginning to squirm in Sonny’s hold suggesting that he did not like the change in the Texan’s voice or the way he had puffed up like a peacock puffed out. “Don’t want to wake the kid up.”

Lisa watched as Sonny relaxed purposefully back into the chair for Benji’s sake more than his own grateful that their departure had gone smoothly as they finally reached cruising altitude. “I’m sure he would prefer to be laid out on you instead of all scrunched up Sonny.” Lisa hoped that he would take the hint and retreat to his hammock to get some sleep himself, and that the others would follow as they all looked ready to curl up and sleep, even Cerb was laid on the floor with his head rested on his paws dozing.

Clay yawned then looked at Lisa. “Sleep sounds like a great idea.” He yawned again before he got up and toddled off to his hammock as Lisa, Mandy and the rest of the team watched on in amusement at their ‘kid’ putting himself to bed.

Brock finished off his beer and stood up. “Come on Cerb.” Brock would happily settle in his hammock with Cerb asleep on top of him as they were both exhausted as each other. It was not often that the hair missile was exhausted but having been sated by the hot bath and the handfuls of treats that Lisa and Mandy would have given him, he was ready to sleep. Brock wondered away with a nod at the rest of the group with Cerb right next to him.

Lisa looked at Sonny who seemed to be contemplating how to get up without disturbing Benji as he was not an expert in moving sleeping children without waking them up. “You want a hand up?” She asked making him look up and over at her.

“I’m good.” Sonny answered as he leaned forward just a little having folded at his hips then shuffled forward to the edge of the chair.

“I’ve got you brother.” Ray stood up then moved to help keep Sonny steady as he pushed himself up to his feet being extra careful not to jostle the sleeping four year old. Ray was quite content to follow Sonny over to where the hammocks were as he was ready to catch up on some sleep before he got home to his own family, and after this mission he really wanted to hold his children in his arms for as long as he could.

Jason watched as his men put themselves to bed in their hammocks before he looked over at Eric who seemed to be filling in paperwork, and he knew that he had his own to do as AAR’s were still to be submitted and a debrief was still to be held but he knew he did not have the energy to concentrate on it.

Mandy squeezed Jason’s wrist once more as she had not bothered to move her hand away from him. “Go get into your hammock too. Get some sleep Jason.” She spoke softly knowing that he had a routine that he liked to do but his own exhaustion would do him no favours when it came to filling out the paperwork that was required.

Jason sighed but he knew that between Mandy and Lisa that neither of them were going to let him avoid at least getting into his hammock. “Yeah.” He felt as Mandy let go of his wrist and he missed the contact although he would never admit it before he looked at both women. “Night.”

“Night Jason.” Mandy replied instantly knowing that as soon as he was in the security of the hammock that he would be asleep, and she was glad for that as he needed uninterrupted sleep in the warmth and safety of the plane, actually the entire team needed it.

“Night.” Lisa kept her voice low as she watched Jason amble his way over to the last hammock before she looked back at Mandy. “You good?” She asked as she held her beer bottle out to her.

“We’re on our way home with them tucked up safe and sound. I’m good.” Mandy answered assuredly gently tapping the neck of her bottle against Lisa’s as both women shared a smile as the relief that came with that knowledge flooded them just as it did each and every time.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa moved quietly through the plane checking on the men and shaking her head at their failure to cover themselves up despite the blankets being draped over the end of their hammocks but at least they were all sleeping soundly. Lisa stopped at Brock’s hammock first, grabbed the blanket and draped it over top of Cerb and him before she repeated the same action with Trent, Jason and Ray before she got to Clay. She took one look at Clay and shook her head at the position the man managed to contort himself into when he slept in his hammock before she grabbed the blanket, shook it out then laid it over top of him making sure his socked feet were covered and the blanket went right up to his neck before she tucked it around his shoulders than softly ran her fingers through his hair once before she moved on to Sonny and Benji.

Lisa smiled as she took the opportunity to pull out her phone and take a photo of the scene she was witnessing, and she knew she would get the picture printed out then sneak a copy into Sonny’s cage knowing he would like it, before she tucked it back into her pocket. Sonny was laid on his back with Benji spread out over his torso like a starfish and his face was still tucked into his neck. Sonny had his hands laid down flat on Benji, one across his back and the other laid down over his pyjama covered leg. The blanket that had been tucked around Benji was now rumpled and tucked between Sonny’s body and the fabric of the hammock with Benji’s small hand clutching at the corner of it as his other hand held tightly onto the fabric of Sonny’s hoodie. If anyone looked at them, they would not have known that they were not related nor that they only met two days ago, but to Lisa that was what made it even more special. The small shiver from Benji caught Lisa’s attention, bringing her out of her musing, and had her grabbing the blanket, shaking it out and draping it over the both of them as gently as she could before she moved away.

Lisa looked up and felt the blush on her cheeks rise as she caught Eric smiling at her as he had been watching what she had been doing. She crossed the short distance to him and stopped in front of him. “Don’t know what we would do without you Lisa. I think you and Mandy may be the only ones that are able to get them covered up with blankets without waking them up.” It was so much more than just that but Eric knew that Lisa would understand that he was meaning a hell of a lot more than just covering a bunch of Tier One Operators with blankets.

Lisa looked back at them before she looked at Eric. “It’s ironic isn’t it? I don’t know what we would do without them either.” It was the truth simply put but she meant every word.

Eric huffed lightly at the way Lisa had turned it back on them. “Probably be a little less crazy.” He answered lightly making her laugh.

“Probably but I think we like the crazy most of the time.” She sobered as she looked back at the men before she returned her gaze to Eric. “Did you ever think you would see Sonny comforting a child that was not his own like he is with Benji?” There was something a lot more paternal about Sonny with Benji than he was with any of his brother’s children.

Eric let his eyes drift to the hammock that contained Sonny and Benji and a smile tugged at his lips as the scene tugged at the strings of his heart. “No, no, I didn’t.” He paused before he looked at Lisa. “It’s nice to see him mallow for once.”

“Yeah, it is. I guess that is what a Tier One Operator looks like when they are at peace. I kind of wish it could last longer.” Lisa smiled softly although it was tinged with sadness knowing that peace did not last however long she wished it would, and she was not just applying that to Sonny but to the rest of the team who were sleeping like babies.

Eric shifted his eyes back to Lisa as he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. “Go and get some sleep Lisa.” Eric knew that Lisa had slept on and off for the past few days as had he and Mandy but it had been restless as they were worried about the men with spotty radio communication and no ISR in the heart of the rainforest.

“You too Eric.” She reached out and patted his forearm before she moved away. She wasn’t ready to sleep instead she wanted to spend a few more minutes soaking in the peace that hung softly and comfortingly in the air.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa moved around the men taking the opportunity to get them up as there was only an hour and a half left of the flight before they would land back at base and be able to go home. What surprised Lisa was that Benji was already awake but contently lying still on Sonny’s stomach having been watching her.

Lisa smiled softly as she knelt down next to the hammock. “Hi honey. You want to come with me?” She spoke softly as Sonny was still asleep.

Benji yawned before he nodded and reached his arms out to her. Lisa reached out and lifted him off of Sonny and rested him on her hip as she held him in her arms. She took a few seconds to run her fingers through his hair in an effort to tame the wicked case of bed hair that he had going on. “Are you hungry honey?” She asked knowing that they had all been asleep since they had taken off, and she could rustle up a pop tart or two instead of a breakfast MRE. It wouldn’t be the most nutritious breakfast ever but at least it was something to fill his stomach, and she could offset it with a drink of water.

Clay had roused and took the time to push his hair off of his forehead before he ruffled his own hair as he crawled out of his hammock, stood and stretched. His eyes had landed on Lisa when she had crouched down and he continued to watch as she lifted Benji into her arms and held him close. He took the few steps that separated him and Lisa and stopped at her side. “I’ll wake him up Lis.” He offered knowing that Sonny could be difficult to get up at the best of times, and Lisa already had Benji to take care of.

Lisa laughed lightly as she rested her chin on top of Benji’s head and looked at Clay whose bed hair rivalled Benji’s. “Come here you.” She shifted her arm to make sure Benji was supported before she raised her hand up and managed to corral Clay’s hair into something more manageable which had Benji laughing as Clay was trying to duck away from her. “That’s better. Come on honey, let’s go make you some pop tarts while Clay wakes Sonny up.”

“Pop tarts?!” Clay’s attention went to Lisa at the mention of pop tarts.

Lisa smiled teasingly. “Wake Sonny up and I will make you some too.” She knew how much Clay loved pop tarts and it wouldn’t be hard to make a couple more as he did not eat them all that often.

Lisa carried Benji over knowing that once he was finished eating then it would be best to get him washed up and dressed which could be achieved easily as she had gotten him an outfit when she had gotten him the pyjamas as his clothes that had been in his backpack still needed washing and drying having remained damp. “We are going to be landing very soon and you are going to see your grandparents honey.” Lisa moved around effortlessly as she got the pop tarts started then handed Benji a fresh bottle of water with the top already popped so he could drink from it straight away, all while holding Benji to her hip.

Sonny stood and stretched out hating that he was woken before his eyes looked around the plane stopping on Lisa who was stood holding Benji while making him breakfast. It was an odd picture of domesticity even though it was taking place in the belly of the C-17 several thousand feet about the ground. “Lis is making pop tarts.” Clay pulled Sonny from his revelry smiling widely before he made his way over to Lisa leaving Sonny standing still.

Sonny looked around the plane seeing his brothers in various states of dishevelment as they prepared themselves to land and go through debrief whilst trying to wake up because despite how long they had slept it still did not feel like it had been long enough. He raised his hand to his chest and scrubbed his hand across his shirt lightly, barely skimming the fabric, but it felt odd to not have the kid against his chest. It surprised him just how quickly he had gotten used to the feeling of it.

Clay smiled and shook his head at the look on Sonny’s face as he glanced over his shoulder to see him still standing where he was completely still just watching. Clay turned his attention back to Lisa as she called his name just in time to have a pop tart that was freshly iced held out for him to take. “Thanks Lis.” He took the pop tart and bit into it enjoying the way it melted in his mouth. Sugary goodness, he could have moaned at the taste of it but he refrained, barely.

Lisa smiled and shook her head at the similar reactions that Clay and Benji had to eating the pop tarts that she had prepared. Lisa’s smile faltered briefly but it was enough that Clay caught it as she began swaying lightly with Benji in her arms.

Clay had no doubt where Lisa’s mind had gone to but he would not call her out on it, not when she had Benji in her arms, and not when they were on the plane where they could be easily overheard, but he would check in with her at some point soon and make sure that she was okay. He knew that the pain and sadness she felt over his miscarriage never truly went away instead she had learned to live with it and keep it at bay as much as she could but even she had moments where she could not keep it hidden and none of them expected her too. Instead Clay did what he knew would help. “You want me to take him?” He asked before he stuffed the rest of his pop tart into his mouth so that both of his hands were free.

Lisa looked up at Clay barely concealing her glassy eyes before she nodded and let Clay take Benji from her as he was still happily munching his way through his second pop tart having already demolished the first one. With a soft nod, she stepped away from everyone needing to take a few moments to herself before she refocused, and with Benji on board she had the perfect excuse as she went to get the clothes that she had got for him.

Sonny frowned and watched as Lisa handed Benji over to Clay then move away from them which had him moving towards them. “Everything okay?” He kept his voice light but he could not hide the worry that it was tinged with as he took Benji back from Clay immediately as the boy reached out to him.

Clay looked Lisa’s way before he looked back at Sonny and gave him a small smile seeing how Sonny had settled Benji against his chest so naturally. “Everything is fine brother.” Clay would not say anything as Lisa did not need anyone to know that small things still caught her off guard from time to time, and sent her spinning. With that declaration, Clay clapped Sonny on the shoulder leaving him to focus on Benji while he moved towards Jason knowing that he was filling out the required paperwork and that between the two of them they could get it done quicker.

“Sonny?” Benji’s voice had Sonny’s attention immediately.

“Yeah little buddy?” Sonny asked as he moved to snag a wipe from the table nearby as Benji’s mouth and chin were covered in crumbs, pop tart filling and icing.

“Where’s Mommy and Daddy?” Benji asked innocently as he looked up at Sonny with wide eyes before he looked around the plane seemingly searching for them.

Sonny swallowed feeling as though he forget how to breathe momentarily as he felt as almost everyone turned to look at him and Benji as the kid had been the loudest he had been since they had found him. Sonny decided to buy himself some time as he wiped his face, cleaning him up, as the pit in his stomach formed. He looked around for help as kids were not his forte or rather he was not the best at answering their questions despite always trying his best but the thing that got him about this time was that it was such a pivotal moment. After all how is anyone supposed to tell a four year old, let alone make it understandable, that their Mommy and Daddy are not coming back but what he did know was that he could not lie to the boy.

Sonny shifted Benji as he sat down so that he was in his lap and he noticed how everyone had begun to migrate back towards them in a silent show of support and unity. “Benji, your Mommy and Daddy… they are… well…” Sonny swallowed as the lost look on Benji’s face had him fumbling with what to say and had him looking around for help.

It was Mandy who emerged from behind Jason and knelt down next to Benji having seen Sonny’s struggle, and she could understand why he was struggling to explain it to the young boy. “Benji, your Mommy and Daddy are in heaven now.” Mandy hoped to soften the news although she knew that nothing would soften that kind of news, and she hoped that the boy had some idea of the concept of heaven. Heaven seemed like something that kids should believe in even if that belief was lost as an adult.

Benji inhaled in a shuddering breath as he blinked several times looking at Mandy completely still. “Mommy and Daddy are dead?” Benji asked with his small voice trembling as the tears began to roll down his cheeks after a few moments.

Mandy hated that they had to be the one to explain to Benji that his parents were dead as it would be one of the defining moments of his life. “Yes sweetheart, they are.” She spoke as softly as she could feeling herself begin to choke up at the pure devastation that Benji openly displayed. For a four year old he seemed to have a comprehension far beyond what he should have in regards to death.

Benji sobbed loud and painfully. “But Mommy… Mommy promised she wouldn’t leave me…” He sobbed as more tears cascaded down his cheeks and snot bubbles filled the end of his nose.

Sonny was spurred to action as he pulled Benji close hating that they had to be the one to tear the child apart. “She hasn’t little buddy, she hasn’t.” Sonny rocked Benji softly trying to stop him from hyperventilating even as he fought his hold. “Neither of them have.”

Mandy stood up and turned away from Benji who was wrapped up in Sonny’s arms before she walked past the rest of the team who had gathered around them and towards the front of the plane needing to pull herself together but the increasing volume of Benji’s heartbroken wails made it harder. The fact was that he would always remember her as she was the one who had told him that his parents were dead, and although he did not understand it in that moment he would know that it was the moment that he was now an orphan, a parentless child.

Jason could hear and see the emotion in Mandy as she walked past him, and without an ounce of hesitation he followed after her knowing how hard it was to tell a child that their parent or parents were not coming home, that they would never see them again. Jason watched as Mandy stepped into the shadows so that she could not be seen as she sunk down behind a pallet that was stacked high with gear. He stopped and looked back towards Sonny who was holding Benji against him, rocking him with a desperateness within the action, while letting him cry his little heart out before he looked around at all of his men as Brock sent Cerb over to them before he turned away to give them some semblance of privacy, Trent stayed close by to make sure that medically Benji was fine, Ray had moved to sit down and looked to be praying as his head was bowed, Eric waved support off, while Clay had his arm wrapped around Lisa’s shoulder as she was tucked into his side and it was plain to see that she was struggling to contain her own emotions.

Jason turned back towards the shadows and moved forward finding Mandy sat with her back up against the side of the pallet with her legs folded and her feet tucked under her and her hands were clasped together. He said nothing as he sat down beside her although he did not miss the glassiness of her eyes as she quickly reached up to run her hand over her face trying to hide the evidence that her eyes had welled up with tears. “Come here.” Jason draped his arm over Mandy’s shoulder as she leant into his side resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you. I know that it is a terrible thing to have to do.” He whispered before he kissed her forehead as he could still vividly recall having to tell Emma and Mikey about Alana despite almost everything else being a blur from that awful time.

Mandy took a deep breath and let herself inhale the comforting and safe scent of Jason as she fought hard to reign in her emotions. “I couldn’t let Sonny do it. I did not want him to remember that coming from him.” She tried to explain it away.

Jason knew exactly what she was meaning, understood what she was not saying. “I know.” There was not a lot else he could say as Benji’s crying seemed to echo around the plane so instead he let his words hang in the air.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny was drawn to the dark corner of the bar as he did not want company as Benji’s sobs and inconsolable clinging reverberated around in his brain. It had been almost four hours since Mandy had told him that his parents were dead, three hours since they had landed and the kid had melted down on the tarmac when he realised that he had to leave the safety of Sonny’s arms even though his grandparents were standing within reaching distance ready to take him home visibly relieved that at least their grandson had survived and been rescued, and only a half hour since they had finished their standard debrief although there was nothing ordinary about this one as the sadness lingered like darks clouds foreshadowing a storm.

It was a strange feeling to miss the boy that he had only known for a short amount of time, missed the way his little hands clutched the fabric of his shirt, missed the way he snuggled his face into his neck, missed the weight in his arms and the warmth against his chest, and missed the unexplainable trust that he showed him.

A glass of whiskey was placed down in front of him followed by a bottle beside it but he barely acknowledged it as he found himself wondering what would Benji’s life be like now knowing that the boy’s entire world had just be turned upside down. The only respite in that line of thinking was that Benji’s grandparents seemed like good people as they had not tried to tear him out of Sonny’s arms despite how desperate they were to hold and hug him instead they let him cling to Sonny until he was ready to let go. He reached out, picked up the glass, then swallowed it down in one mouthful before he sat the glass back down with a thud however he made no effort to refill it as he did not want to numb himself with alcohol, not this time anyway.


	3. Gone Insane

**_ Gone Insane – Clay Spenser _ **

There was a lightness that lingered in the air as Mandy walked into the room coming up behind Jason and she placed her hand on his back as he observed from the side. “What are you thinking about there? And don’t even try to deny it because I can literally see the cogs turning.” She asked softly as she smiled at the scene in front of her.

Jason smiled as a small chuckle escaped his lips before he turned to look at Mandy for the briefest of seconds before his eyes landed on the youngest member of the team whose idea it had been. “I thought he had gone insane when he suggested this.”

Mandy knew that Jason’s reaction had not been one of distinct pleasure at the time of the suggestion. “I think we were all there with you.” She kept her voice light as the happiness she felt was on display. “But...” She prompted as she leaned into his side a little closer.

“The kid still manages to surprise me.” Jason answered as he cringed at how dumbfounded he must have looked when Clay had presented his case that seeing they had a day off while on a Gucci deployment while stationed in the Bahamas that they should give something back to the country that was graciously hosting them and that he had found an orphanage they could visit. Clay’s argument was mainly based around the fact that the children in the orphanage would enjoy being visited as they did not get undivided attention or have someone to play with nor was it likely that they had many toys if any either. Clay used every trick in his repertoire, puppy eyes and all, and really who could say no to the kid’s impassioned plea (guilt trip), well the answer was none of them, not a single one of them could, not even Mandy and Lisa. “It scares me how much he knows about these places, and how natural he seems to fit in, knows just what the kids need and want.”

Mandy inhaled sharply as she had picked up on the same thing but she had kind of hoped that Jason had not but it was most likely that the rest of the team had if the looks that they kept stealing towards Clay were anything to go by. The truth was no one really knew much about Clay’s childhood, and none of them tried to pry as they sensed it was painful for him as he never openly shared anything and even if he did let anything slip then it was quickly swept aside with a change of subject or some sort of redirection. “I don’t think he will ever stop surprising us Jason.” She paused as she considered how to respond to the next part. “You know he was right about coming here, doing something productive, and being good for the soul as he put it. What scares you is that he doesn’t talk about his childhood or any of his past really, and you are worried how today is going to affect him once we leave and he is not caught up in the moment.” Jason grunted hating Mandy’s observational skills especially when she pinpointed what was going on his brain. “You know if you ever decide that you need to know for his sake then I will do whatever I can to find everything that I can.” It was not an offer that she made lightly nor would she make it again but it would remain open to acceptance forever.

Jason nodded as he focused on Clay who was currently sat on the floor surrounded by at least ten children who ranged in age from eight months to five years and a few small toys as he was right about there being very few toys for the large number of kids. Clay was smiling broadly as the children demanded to be picked up and lifted over his head with all the sounds of rocket ships, planes, helicopters, and wind tunnels that he could make accompanying them as they giggled freely and uninhibited.

Jason let his eyes linger on Clay for a few minutes longer before he looked around the large open plan room and out to the grounds behind as he continuously kept tabs on the rest of his team, his family. Lisa was sitting with three young girls who were most probably between the ages of four and seven at a kiddie table colouring pictures on scraps of paper with the stubs that were left of the crayons. Ray had a boy, who could have been no more than eighteen months old, cradled in his arms asleep and it was obvious that the man was thinking about his own children. Brock was sitting down in the grass with Cerb laid only a few feet away enjoying all of the gentle pats and belly rubs he was getting. Trent was talking to one of the orphanage caregivers although he had a baby boy who was at most six months cradled against his chest. And Sonny, well Sonny was continuously glancing over at Clay with a look that Jason had only seen a few times but he knew the man was worried even as he helped build block towers with some of the other children although the blocks were not like the usual plastic ones that children would have instead they were clearly smoothed out pieces of debris that someone had taken the time to smooth and shape.

Clay smiled widely as he finished the last flight and settled the smallest child that had gravitated with the group on his lap letting little eight month old Jalen rest back against his chest as his little chubby hands held onto his thumb of the hand that was holding him still. He looked around at the children who were sitting in a circle around him watching as they played with the few toys that they had sharing freely. He looked down at Jalen seeing the gummy smile that graced his little face and he was suddenly transported back seventeen or so years ago when he was an awkward pre-teen and it had been one of the first times he had been to an orphanage as he held a young baby boy that had very similar features to Jalen after he had been tossed into his arms by the caregiver who was outnumbered thirty to one at the time.

A small tug on Clay’s hand bought him out of his revelry as he realised that little Charo who was five years old was trying to gain his attention. The little girl was scrawny for her age which was most often due to the lack of food and health care that children like her received in orphanages although the conditions were not as deplorable as Clay had seen before. “What is it sweetheart?” He asked as she smiled down at her.

Charo, the girl whose name loosely translated to Rose, blinked a few times before she smiled shyly at him. “Could you tell us a story please?” She asked with her voice barely above a whisper as her cheeks flushed pink. Clay looked around all of the children to see them nodding at her request as he had noted upon their tour that there were no books that were suitable for children around.

“Oh, yeah, well, okay… Just let me think of one.” Clay stammered slightly as he glanced around the room trying to think of a story that was child appropriate but it was harder than he thought it would be. Clay drew his bottom lip in between his teeth and chewed down on it for a few seconds until he thought of something as he caught sight of Jason silently observing the immediate environment.

Mandy smiled softly as she left her hand on Jason’s back even as she turned to look over her shoulder as the sound of small footsteps from behind her had her attention. “Who is this Laurette?” Mandy asked as she watched the little boy hold Laurette’s hand as she led him down the hall towards them. What struck Mandy was that the little boy only had one arm but it looked like the amputation had been performed crudely given the stump that he had been left with. Laurette was one of the senior caregivers who they had been introduced to when they had first arrived.

Laurette smiled as she looked at the American men and women who had taken fondly to the children just as the children had to them, and more importantly who had chosen to spend some time at their underprivileged facility. There was not always a lot to smile about for the children that she cared for more often than she cared to admit given all of the hardships they went through on a daily basis. Laurette looked down at the stumbling toddler who she was particularly fond of mainly because of his history. “This is Alejandro, he is two and a half, and he only came to us six months ago. Alejandro, this is Miss Mandy.” Laurette made introductions watching as the little boy shook his hand free of hers then stumbled his way over to Mandy who immediately crouched down and scooped him up as she did not want him to fall.

“Hi Alejandro.” Mandy saw Jason turn back to look at her but she had to admit that the big chocolate brown eyes had her attention as there was something unexplainable about them, about the way they pulled her in. “What’s his story?” Mandy asked quietly having hesitated for a few seconds before she did so.

Laurette closed her eyes and blew out a breath before she looked back at Mandy as she reached out and ran her fingers through his hair to push it back off his forehead as the ends needed a trim as they hung over his eyes. “A officer of the law bought him here to keep him safe before the hospital could discharge him.” She began wishing the little boy had not been through such a traumatic experience. “He was taken from his mother because of his father’s actions as he fell on the bad side on the rebel faction. They sent his arm to his parents as a warning before they abandoned him at the hospital when he became to sick to keep alive on their own.” She kept the details light mainly for Alejandro’s sake as he did not recall much of what had gone on due to the infection he had developed.

Mandy felt herself shudder at the mere thought of the small boy having been through so much in his short lifetime but the fact that he had survived just showed his strength. “Mind if I hold him for a while?” She did not consider herself a maternal woman but there was something about this child that had her wanting to hold him for a little longer.

Laurette smiled and nodded. “I wanted you to meet him.” She patted Mandy’s forearm before she stepped away as she needed to attend to some things and while the young children were entertained and supervised, it was the ideal time.

Mandy turned back around and placed her hand back on Jason’s back even as she paid all of her attention to the boy who was content in her arms.

Sonny wished that they could have spent their day in some dark bar but he knew how much this meant to Clay even if he did not know why. And if he was being honest, he did not want to be around so many children, as it was too soon especially after Benji and the devastation that they had been unable to stop the young boy from going through with the loss of his parents which is why Sonny moved away, had found an empty crate, flipped it over and sat down on it in the corner of the room. However he could not keep his eyes off his youngest brother, could not keep the worry that he felt from breaching the surface, and could not stop himself from cataloguing every expression that crossed Clay’s face as he tried to work out why blondie had been so set on visiting the orphanage that he had found out about.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Clay had the children caught up in excitement as he weaved a tale about how everyday people became superheroes, and he had used everyone in his team as characters as they were his inspiration. He smiled widely as the little kids smiled and giggled as he made Sonny’s antics safe for small ears to hear although there were very few of his antics that he could make safe for them to hear and they required a fair amount of exaggeration on his part.

Clay could vividly recall the hours that he would spend when he was younger especially during the rainy season at the local orphanage reading several chapters of whatever novel he had managed to get his hands on to the kids that gathered around to listen to him. It was partly how he learned languages as sometimes the only books he could get would be in different languages which he had to translate and speak.

There were so many memories that Clay had locked away in the deep recesses of his mind as they caused him a physical pain that he could not bare to go through from when he was young. There was so much that he did not talk about, and it was not because he did not want to but because he physically could not as every time he tried the words would get stuck in his throat as it restricted painfully and left him floundering.

Truthfully Clay could not tell anyone why he had pushed so hard for the team to visit the local orphanage on their rare day off while deployed but he did not know why himself but he had and he was glad that he had even if it meant feeling a little bit more exposed than he usually allowed himself too.

Clay let his eyes gaze around the room to see everyone interacting with the small children with the exception of Sonny who seemed to be sitting sullenly in the corner chewing aggressively on the toothpick that was between his lips. He sighed softly as for the first time in the day he suddenly was doubting his idea as he knew how hard Sonny had taken having to hand Benji over to his grandparents although the resolute Texan had put up one hell of a tough façade. Before he could think anymore about Sonny and his behaviour, Jalen wriggled in his arms as he reached out for the soft ball that was similar to a hacky sack that had lost most of its filling. Without a second thought, he reached forward and picked up the ball before giving it to the boy in his lap as he manoeuvred himself until he could reach out and interact with the other children and play with the toys with them.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa found herself searching for Clay as she walked throughout the orphanage having left the girls colouring as he had wondered off almost an hour ago with Jalen who was fighting falling asleep in his lap even while he had continued to entertain the other kids. Lisa wondered if it had been to much and he had taken a breather that had lasted longer than he had intended it to once he had put Jalen down. She had questions, questions that she knew the others had to, but none of them had asked as they did not want to push him and make him shut down.

Lisa looked around the halls that had several large rooms off of each of them that were filled with several bunk bed three high as she walked quietly along the eerie halls. It was hard to believe and see how many children lived in this orphanage, and she knew that they had not even seen most of them as they had only met a few of the younger children.

Lisa stopped at the doorway as she spotted Clay in a room but instead of being filled with bunk beds this one was filled with rows of cribs that were all filled, and there were two women who were attending to the babies that were in the cribs as they needed. She watched as Clay had his arm rested on the top rail of the wooden crib while his other arm was outstretched with his hand rubbing lightly across the baby’s stomach and for the distance she could see it was a baby girl who looked no more than a few weeks old before she spotted Jalen asleep in the crib beside. Lisa blew out a breath as the overwhelming realisation sunk in that Clay knew what he was doing because he had done it before, most likely many times before.

Lisa stayed where she was for a few minutes longer knowing that they had to get going as night would be upon them before long and they needed to prepare for a night training exercise as they were teaching Bahamian forces how to track whether it was day or night, and it was the night part of the training. She hated that she had to break up the moment, break up the tranquillity and peace that seemed to have taken over Clay but she had too. With that she moved quietly deeper into the room until she was stood at the end of the crib seeing the baby girl looking contently up at Clay as he continued to lightly sweep his hand over her stomach.

Clay knew that Lisa was there, knew from the moment she stopped in the doorway, and knew when she moved until she was beside him. “She doesn’t have a name. No one will name her because she is only two weeks old. And do you know why that is?” Clay spoke unprompted although he did not look away from the little girl that had been crying with the most emerald green eyes he had ever seen when he had put Jalen down in his crib and made sure that the scraggly old threadbare blanket was tucked around him tightly.

Lisa shook her head and swallowed as she looked down at the sweet innocent baby girl and watched as her little hands rested gently on Clay’s wrist as if she was trying to hold onto him as her little hands tried ruthlessly to grasp him. “No Clay, no, I don’t know why they won’t name her.” It seemed terrible to think that a baby, that any human, could remain nameless weeks into the beginning of their life as Lisa spoke softly feeling like there was a lot going on in Clay’s head.

“Because it is unlikely she will ever be considered for adoption here; if her parents had named her and then abandoned her then the perception is that something is wrong with the baby. The worst part about that though is she will end up growing up here, not being adopted because adoptions are not prevalent here like they are back at home. Eventually someone will name her, maybe in a year, maybe in three years, but it will not change that she will grow up never knowing the love and safety of a home.” Clay was all to aware of the realities surrounding superstitions and he had looked into statistics and facts surrounding adoptions in the Bahamas or rather he had come across them when the idea had first popped into his head and he was looking for somewhere to visit.

Lisa looked away as she let her eyes gaze over all of the babies that were laid in the cribs in the room as she took in Clay’s words and as the reality of the situation that these innocent victims found themselves in because of a flawed system and impoverish country before she finally looked back at him. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” She asked as she needed some sort of confirmation even though it felt like she was prying.

Clay swallowed jaggedly before he nodded softly seeing that the nameless baby girl’s long eyelashes were beginning to flutter as her eyelids drooped as she fought going to sleep valiantly. “I’m sorry Lis. I did not think how any of this would affect you, any of you, and I should have taken it into consideration. This was not fair to you or anyone else.”

Lisa moved around the crib to Clay’s side and placed her hand down flat on his back as she tucked herself into his side without upsetting the rhythm he had set as he continued to lull the beautiful baby girl to sleep. “Look at me Clay.” She ordered although her voice was gentle enough to assure him that it was okay. Of course he was thinking about everyone but himself but she could not even comprehend why he was apologising to her for bringing them along with him because she knew that he would have visited anyway. She waited until he turned slowly to look at her as she copied his motions repeating them over his back absentmindedly. “I, for one, am glad that you asked us to join you today. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, nothing.”

Clay looked at Lisa and wanted to cry but instead he turned away and blew out a shaky breath as he swallowed down the sadness that he felt. “I still feel like I do.”

Lisa leaned up on her tippy toes and rested her chin on Clay’s shoulder as he was still turned away from her. “Whether you want to admit it or not blue eyes, you gave us a wonderful perspective today, sad and eye opening, but sometimes we needed to be reminded of others.” She stopped as she watched as the baby girl finally succumbed completely to her tiredness. “These kids barely have anything yet they are happy and they smile brightly. It is not often that you see kids with absolute pure joy on their faces simply because they are being showed a bit of attention. You let us do that, you provided us with the opportunity to give these kids just a little bit of happiness, and I will hold that dear forever.” It was hard to imagine that something as simple as affection and attention could be the cause of so much joy and happiness but it was to the orphans that spent their days in an overcrowded orphanage that was doing its best to simply care for them.

Clay sniffled begrudgingly and Lisa was sure that her heart melted just a little bit. “Thank you for allowing us to share this with you, and thank you for sharing a part of you with us.” Lisa meant every word of it.

Clay blinked away the tears that filled his eyes as he would not let them fall even as Lisa’s sincere words got to him. “I wish there was something more we could do like get them some books or even some more toys.” Material possessions were not overly important to these children as it was something that they had never really had but it did not mean that just because they had never had them that they should not ever get them. Wishing for the children to find homes and people that loved them would never come true despite how much he would have liked to think it would so instead he hoped that they got things that could help them because books were a refuge as well as a learning tool for some.

Lisa smiled tearfully at Clay’s whispered wish but she did not say anything more as she tilted her head forward until her forehead was rested against his neck as she let the silence lapse between them as they both needed a few moments. Lisa was thinking of a way that she could make Clay’s wish for the children of the orphanage become a reality while Clay fought to reign in his emotions as another memory flashed through his mind as he had inadvertently spent the night in an orphanage with a colicky baby asleep on his chest as the beat of his heart had lulled the baby to sleep finally after hours of crying.

Brock had been sent by Jason to go in search of Lisa and Clay as Lisa still had not returned with Clay in tow despite almost quarter of an hour having gone by. Cerb had stopped at the door, cocked his head to the side then turned back to Brock who was quickly closing the gap before he turned back to the room. Brock would have laughed at Cerb’s antics if not for what he saw. The entire day had left him relatively speechless from the moment Clay had convinced them all to go right up until the moment he stopped at the door but he was glad that he and Cerb had been able to spend some time with the little kids who smiled brightly; this was definitely one of the highlights of their deployment as training and teaching were not the greatest things to do at times.

Brock hated to interrupt, hated to have to be the one too, but they needed to get back to base, take care of themselves then get ready for the night training/ teaching exercise that they had to do. “Spense, Lisa.” Brock called softly doing his upmost not to disturb the sleeping or awake and quiet babies that were in the room.

Lisa turned to look at Brock hoping he did not catch her glassy eyes or at least politely ignored them. “Yeah Brock?” She asked softly seeing that he and Cerb had remained in the doorway.

Brock tapped his watch. “We need to return to base.”

Lisa glanced down at her watch as she did not realise how much time had passed before she returned her gaze to Brock. “We will be there in a few minutes, I promise.” She wished they had more time but they had a job to do.

Brock softly nodded as he smiled before he clicked his fingers calling Cerb as he turned and left the room without saying anything else as he knew what Lisa was doing. She was good and he figured that Clay needed the comfort that he would only let Lisa offer him at times as it was done with a dainty feminine touch although he would never openly describe it as that.

Lisa turned her attention back to Clay as she let her chin slip off of his shoulder and came down off of her tippy toes feeling as he straightened himself up as if he was cramming all of the memories back into the box that was well kept hidden in the deep dark depths of his mind. “You ready?” She asked after a few moments as he finally turned back to look at her as he slowly and cautiously retracted his head so as not to wake the sweet baby girl that he had just gotten to sleep then he slung his arm over his shoulders keeping her close.

“I will be. We better get going, we are already running late.” The physical pain that Clay felt from unleashing some of his childhood memories would remain for a while until it finally faded once more until it only reared its ugly head on rare occasions.

Lisa kept her hand on his back while she reached out with her other hand and gently laid the blanket down over top of the baby girl so that she would not be cold before the two quietly made their way out of the room.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Bravo in its entirety were unusually subdued as a comfortable yet heavy silence blanketed them as they made their way back to base although Clay could feel the questioning glances that kept being levelled his way. For a bunch of Tier One Operators, they were not as discreet as they had been trained to be but he knew it was because they were worried and had questions that they wanted to ask but would not in an effort to respect his privacy. Clay closed his eyes as he tipped his head to the side and let it rest against the steel of the pillar knowing that Lisa was beside him acting as a buffer whether she meant to or not but he was grateful for the silent support.

The memories, the few that he had not been able to completely shut away just yet, swirled at the forefront of his mind as his stomach somersaulted as it was unsettled by them. There was so much heartache intertwined with some happiness in those memories but what Clay realised was that they shaped him, shaped who he was in some of his later formative years, and despite everything he was grateful to have been able to spend time visiting those orphanages and the orphans. All of the thinking led to several questions as he began to wonder what happened to some of those children who knew no more or no better. Did they make it to age out? Did they get adopted? Did they become successful? Or did they become the very thing that made them orphans? Did they find their happily ever after? Have their dreams become reality? Or did their whole worlds shatter because of some terrible thing? And after all of these questions came to his mind, he realised that he would never be able to answer any of them because the places that he visited when he was young did not keep records or at least well kept ones.

Clay could not stop the shudder from going through his spine as he remembered the little girl named Ada who was only six when she came to the orphanage that he visited frequently. Ada in English loosely meant to be prosperous or happy but little Ada with her thick black curly hair and sad hollow looking hazel eyes was neither of those things. Clay could still vividly recall how terrified she was and it was his first real introduction to how cruel people could be to children although the horrors she had been through made him sick even still. The little girl cowered constantly in the corner of the room and would not let anyone near her. Her eyes constantly darted around the room and he never saw her truly relaxed. But the worst part was that Ada had suffered terribly in her six short years however reaching the orphanage had not been enough to save her as she succumbed to sepsis just a few short weeks later despite all of the care that she was given; it was like she had given up but at least her last few weeks were peaceful at last and free of the frequent beatings she had received. For him, she was the first one who he had seen die and he still remembered the sadness he felt, and how he longed for her to at least find an eternal peace.

Clay swallowed thickly and turned his face towards the window before he forced himself to exhale softly in an effort to stave off the short and shallow breathing that was setting in and sure to send everyone into a panic. He needed to sort himself out and quickly, lock away the memories once more, and focus on the training ahead of him.

Compartmentalise. Shake it off. Compartmentalise. Shake it off. Clay repeated to himself silently but still the words ‘shake it off’ bought a physical pain to his chest as his voice morphed into Adam’s, and before he realised what he was doing he had bought his hand up to his chest and began kneading the area where the bullet had hit his chest plate that fateful night.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa was keeping a close eye on Clay along with the rest of Bravo who were all doing an incredibly poor job at covering up their actions, even Mandy looked concerned as she surveyed Clay and then looked round at the rest of the men. If they were not worried about Clay then she would have called them out on it but she was worried too. Lisa watched as Clay turned away from them, angling his body from them, but when his breathing picked up and his hand went to his chest she saw and felt the tension notch up in the van, and she knew she had to do something but before she could Jason had moved out of his seat so that he was crouched down in front of Clay.

Jason had been watching Clay closely and he was concerned as he suddenly regretted letting the kid talk him into visiting the orphanage as it was becoming suddenly all to clear that the happy façade that the kid had put up all day was cracking and crumbling faster than he had ever seen before. There was something unexplainable in Lisa’s body language that had Jason shuffling past Mandy and crouching down in front of Clay and he was grateful that the van had enough room for him to do so. From where Jason was he could not see Clay’s face as he had it concealed but his fingers continued to steadily increase their kneading of his chest. In his peripheral vision Jason saw Trent getting ready to come closer but he stopped him with a quick hand signal as the last thing Clay needed was to feel crowded.

The van suddenly jolted as it hit a large pothole and if it was not for Lisa’s quick action of reaching out to grab Jason’s arm then he would have tipped over but what alarmed Jason was how hard Clay hit his head against the steel pillar yet he made no effort to move nor did he make a single sound as the kneading increased. There was no way that the kid was going out training with them and the Bahamian forces tonight, nope, Lisa and Mandy were going to stay with him whether he liked it or not. “Hey kid, look at me.” He kept his voice soft and quiet not wanting to startle Clay as no one ever wanted to startle a SEAL although that was not something that was easy to do. He waited a few moments before he looked at Lisa who simply shrugged at Clay’s unresponsiveness. “Spenser, need you to talk to me kid.” He tried again, his voice a little firmer this time, as he dug his own hands into his thighs but he could see everyone leaning forward in their seats straining to see and hear.

Jason shifted his eyes back to Clay or more intently to his hand that continued to knead relentlessly, and Jason was sure that he would cause himself to bruise given how increasingly hard the action was getting. It was time to take a risk and deal with whatever reaction it elicited. Cautiously and with more patience than most thought he possessed Jason reached his hand out and very gently wrapped it around Clay’s wrist then pulled it away from his chest feeling the way he tensed before he relaxed and did not even try to break the hold. He did not let go of Clay’s wrist even once it was resting down on his own leg as he was sure that if he let go then the hand would go straight back to kneading the spot of his chest over his breastbone however he did notice the shortness of breath that the motion had been diverting his attention from. The concern that Jason felt was growing by the second and he felt totally out of his depth but this was his kid and he was not about to leave him alone.

“Today was hard, good but hard.” Jason began hoping everyone with the exception of Clay would pick up on what he was trying to do even as he sent a pointed look Ray’s way. “Those kids are pretty amazing, resilient and unbelievably strong.”

Ray narrowed his eyes towards Jason wondering if he was intent on torturing Clay but then he realised he was trying to share with Clay that today had been good for all of them as it gave them the gift of appreciation for those around them and for their families waiting for them at home however that last thought made Ray’s stomach turn slightly because there was no one waiting for Clay at home instead his family was all with him right now. Ray sometimes felt as though he was missing several pieces of the puzzle that was Clay Spenser’s life especially the pieces that showed him why Clay was so good with his own children when his own childhood was most likely pretty rough. However visiting the orphanage and even the impassioned speech that he gave to get them there gave Ray another piece or two to fill that puzzle in although he had resigned himself long ago to never truly completing it as Clay was tight lipped about pretty much anything that related to his childhood. “It gave us a lot to think about and appreciate brother.” Ray picked up from where Jason had left off knowing the man would have thought about his own children like he had and was.

Trent was itching to move closer and examine Clay sure that he would have a headache from hitting his head when they hit the pothole but he understood why Jason had waved him off for the moment. In truth he had split his attention between Clay and the kids all day, and it was not hard to see the small cues that Clay showed without realising as the day wore on, but then again he knew he was not the only one keeping an eye on their youngest. “I am glad you included us Clay.” Trent was glad to be included and not only because it meant he could keep an eye on him but because it was kind of nice to see that kids could be happy despite all that life had thrown at them.

Brock felt as Cerb tried to inch forward to get closer to Clay but Brock kept his hand firmly wrapped around Cerb’s collar holding him in place as he was not sure how Clay would react given how he was not reacting at all to Jason. Brock had smiled and been completely for a visit to the orphanage mainly because his brother had been so passionate about it, and he knew that Cerb would enjoy the endless participants willing to play fetch or pet him but now he was doubtful if it had been the right decision. “You know Spense, Cerb loved getting the ball thrown endlessly and all of those pats that he got, and the kids loved getting to play and pet him just as much.” Brock would have laughed at the well timed bark that Cerb punctuated the end of his statement with if he was not as worried as he felt. “It’s good to show them that they do not have to be fearful of dogs.” That was the part that Brock enjoyed; being able to show kids that not all dogs were to be feared or that they were sick although most of the strays were, and he got to provide a small amount of education on the correct way to approach and pat dogs.

Mandy smiled as she reached out and gave Cerb a quick pat in the spot behind his ear that he loved even as she kept her eyes on Jason and Clay. “Thank you for sharing this with us Clay. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything that I forget to enjoy the simple things. Those children reminded me of that today.” Mandy had spent a few hours with Alejandro and Jason, usually she would be the first to admit that she was not very good with kids nor would she consider herself as maternal but there was something about the little boy that had melted her heart as he played and cuddled into her content to be in her arms. He was fearless and happy despite the shitty circumstances that life had thrown at him. The simplest things could bring unprecedented amounts of joy, and it was a nice timely reminder.

Sonny chewed at his toothpick relentlessly feeling it splintering but he paid no attention to it as he continued to watch Clay as he had been doing the entire day. Of course blondie had been putting up a façade, and of course he thought they would not realise it. Sonny chose to remain quiet as there was nothing he could say that would sort out whatever was going on with his best friend nor had he really interacted with the children as it still felt to raw. The only reason he had gone to the orphanage was because Jason had made it very clear that he would be going with them and not spending his day drowning his sorrows in whatever dive bar he could find as he had planned to do the moment Clay had shared his idea with them. However it did not mean he missed the scowl that came his way from Lisa as he remained silent.

Jason wanted to sigh but he withheld from doing so as he focused all of his attention on Clay who was doing his upmost to try and regulate his breathing yet failing miserably and his hope that the guys talking would make Clay move had failed. “Come on kid.” Jason let his knee knock gently against Clay’s as he shifted as the floor was not doing his knees any favours.

Clay had been listening to his brothers, had noticed the absence of the Texan drawl although he figured that the man was still discontent about the whole day, but he was too focused on trying to regulate his breathing, ease the ache in his chest, and swallow down the lump that had formed in his throat, as well as ignore the headache that was beginning to form as he had hit his forehead on the steel pillar when the whole van had been tossed around after hitting the pothole. His fingers physically itched to knead at the ache in his chest but his wrist was still caught and held by Jason. Consolidate. Shake it off. No matter how much he repeated it to himself he just could not do it in the moment.

Jason shook his head wishing that their return trip to their temporary base had taken them a bit longer but they had arrived as the van stopped. Yet he was not any closer to getting Clay to move or tell him what was going on. Jason looked over at Ray who was the last to get out of the van with the exception of him, Lisa and Clay. “Take the team, get ready and report to Eric. I will be over soon. Lisa, stay with me.”

Ray had already suspected that Clay would not be attending training with them about half way back so it was not a surprise when Jason spoke nor when he requested Lisa to stay. It was clear that Lisa would be on Clay watch with Mandy most likely joining her later. Lisa had an uncanny and irreplaceable ability to get Clay to open up but that came from the strong bond the pair had which no one begrudged them. “Join us when you can.” Ray nodded at Jason before he followed after the men who had heard Jason’s order to get ready and report to Eric which meant get changed into their uniforms, grab something to eat and then report.

Lisa and Jason shared a look silently trying to work out what was best to do as the abrupt change left them a little more stunned than they cared to admit. “Come on blue eyes, lets get you into bed.” Lisa figured that getting Clay into bed meant they could reason that he was sick, and hope that he got some rest.

“But we have to train them.” Clay mumbled tiredly and breathlessly with his words being muffled by the metal and glass that he had confined himself against. He was not going to let his momentarily freak out at all of the old memories surfacing stop him from fulfilling his duties.

Jason could not hide his surprise nor did he try to at what finally got Clay to respond although he did not like the way he sounded and almost wished that he had kept Trent behind. “Think you have had enough today kid.” He softly responded hoping that it would make Clay pliable enough to go with the flow. “And lets be honest Brock and Ray are going to be doing most of the tracking, it really does not require all of us.”

Clay grunted in response although it made no sense. “Don’t want to sleep.” There was a vulnerability that could be heard in Clay’s muffled voice, and Jason nor Lisa had to ask why as there was only one answer that it could possibly be, nightmares.

Lisa moved closer knowing that Clay would not react violently towards her nor would he towards Jason or any of the team now that he was aware of himself and his surroundings. “How about you and me watch a movie or two until the guys come back from training? Jason is right, it doesn’t require all of you, and anyway you and Brock are Trent’s dummies for the field medic course that he is teaching tomorrow.” Lisa knew that Clay and Brock had been chosen by Trent mainly because they would remain still and not be nuisances like Sonny would although Trent had been firm in his decision that Sonny needed to take notes and brush up on his own field first aid. “Speaking of first aid, can we look at you Clay? You took a good hit to your head when we hit that pothole.” It was an ideal deviation.

“I’m sorry.” Clay murmured hating that he had caused them to worry.

“Let us take a look at you kid then we will get you over to the quarters so you and Lisa can watch a movie until we get back.” Jason did not understand Clay’s apology but that was the least of his worries for now. He hoped that Clay would open up to them but he did not expect it to become reality although it did seem as though he was finally getting his breathing under control.

Clay felt as Lisa wrapped her hand around his shoulder and pulled him gently towards her. He opened his eyes having to blink heavily to adjust to the bright sunlight that was filling the van as he had his eyes closed the entire time before he looked at Jason. “I’m sorry.” He repeated as he looked straight into Jason’s eyes wanting him to know he meant it.

“What have you got to be sorry for kid?” Jason could not ignore the apology the second time as he still did not understand it but it was clear enough to know that Clay felt that he needed to apologise. Jason took the opportunity to look at Clay’s forehead and he could see the welt that had already formed and would most likely bruise within the next few hours but he shoved that aside as it was not bleeding and the hit had not been hard enough to have caused a concussion or any other sort of head injury.

Clay swallowed thickly and tensed as his eyes darted away from Jason and out the window to look at their temporary home. “I shouldn’t have… it wasn’t right…” He swallowed thickly at the lump that he could not shift in his throat.

Lisa looked at Jason who looked just as confused as she felt. “We are going to need full sentences blue eyes.” She hoped it would compel him to talk but she knew that they had to be patient.

Clay fought to pull his hand away from Jason and knead at his chest again even though he knew it was a bad habit that he sometimes fell back on. “I should not have asked any of you to go with me today. I should not have gone today. It was not fair to any of you and not fair to those kids. We went, had fun with them then left. Abandoned them just like everyone else.” He paused as he shook his head. “I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea. Why I thought going back to an orphanage would be good.”

Whether Clay realised or not he had inadvertently given them an opening to ask about his knowledge and experiences in orphanages before; the only problem was Jason was not sure he could bring himself to ask but he knew that in order for Clay to get out of his head then he needed to share what was going on within it. “Tell me what has made you think that kid.” It was not a question but a statement although Jason was not sure he was prepared for the answer that he would be given, and with one look at Lisa he could see that she was not ready either.

“Ada.” Clay only spoke one name but the haunting look that appeared on his face told the two more than enough.

“Who was Ada, Clay?” Lisa asked in that incredibly soft and compelling voice that she used with him, and him exclusively.

“The first one that I saw terrified and so sick, she died. She never got her chance to be safe and free.” Clay’s voice took on a flatness that told them he was disassociating with the memory or at least trying really hard too. “And it was too soon for Sonny, he’s still reeling from his experience with Benji.”

Jason wanted to simultaneously ring Sonny’s neck and hug Clay because of course the kid picked up on Sonny’s brooding and moping, and was now regretting having put him in the position. “Sonny is pouting because I would not let him go to the bar and drink the day away. It was better for him to do something productive. His brooding, that’s on me kid, not you.” Jason knew better than that Clay would accept his words but he had to try.

Lisa hesitated but eventually decided to say what had popped into her mind. “You want to know what I believe Clay?” She had both men turning to look at her, and she got the first look at the welt on Clay’s head although she stopped herself from reaching out to touch it and make sure that it was nothing more serious. “Those kids today were happy and they did get more attention than they were used too but they will remember the kind strangers who came and spent the day with them without wanting anything from them in return even though we all got something from them without them even realising. We got the chance to brighten those kids worlds even if for only one day, we still made them happy.” It was a glass half full kind of way to look at things but one day of happiness was better than none.

Clay gave a half shrug as he had heard Lisa’s words but they would take a bit of time to process. “I did not really understand it back then…” He trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence nor did he know how.

Jason and Lisa shared a look that showed their mutual agreement that they had pushed enough for the moment as they could both see that Clay was clamming up in the way he usually did when it came to his childhood. “Alright, that’s enough for now, let’s get you into bed and get a cold pack on that lump otherwise Trent will have a lecture all ready to go.” Jason said which earned a soft smile from Clay while Lisa rolled her eyes although the threat of one of Trent’s lectures was often enough to compel them to hold a cold pack down or get whatever treatment they needed although even then it was not always guaranteed to prevent the lecture from happening, maybe lessen it if they were lucky.

Clay knew he was not going to win nor did he have the energy to argue about it as he felt as though he had been twisted up, tossed around and dumped aside; he was exhausted. “Yeah, okay.” He mumbled before he bought his free hand up to scrub at his eyes knowing that he had not slept much in the past couple of days.

Lisa highly doubted that Clay would remain awake for long once they got him tucked into his bed especially with the dark circles that had already been underneath his eyes before they had even set out for the day, and definitely not long enough to remain awake until the guys were back although she knew he would not sleep as deeply until they were.

Jason and Lisa did not hesitate as they wanted to get Clay settled down before he changed his mind, and Jason knew that he would have to hurry to catch up with the rest of the team while Lisa would remain with Clay.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock knew that Cerb was not happy, that he did not like that Clay was not with them as he had remained back at base while they ran through the training exercise with the soldiers they were teaching. The blatant disdain was practically oozing off of Cerb which was not like the dog at all. Brock probably could have left Cerb back at base but he was helpful in this particular exercise even if he did not want to be.

“What the hell is the dog’s problem now Brock?” Sonny’s foul mood had only grown fouler as the exercise progressed which was not helping anyone and especially not Cerb who was picking up on Sonny’s anger towards him. He watched as Cerb had huffed and laid down as the men all stood around while Ray explained what the next step involved and how they were going to work through it as Bravo would observe and correct if needed.

Brock rolled his eyes as he decided it was best not to respond to Sonny as it would only add fuel to the fire that he was quite happy to stoke himself.

“Bravo Three!” Jason snapped quietly, completely over Sonny’s pissed off, I hate everything, attitude. “Sit this part out over there.” He pointed towards the rock that all of their gear was leant up against. Sonny mumbled something under his breath as he bit down on the toothpick so hard that he snapped it as he stomped off much like a petulant child would. Jason shook his head and looked at Ray who had the grace to continue explaining and keep their allies occupied so they did not get front row tickets to the show. Jason thought about taking over the training module so that Ray could go and talk to Sonny, give him one of the speeches that were full of wisdom that seemed to roll off of his tongue, but decided against it as those two had not been on the same page for months and he was sure that it would only serve to antagonise Sonny more which no one needed.

Ray finished his explanation, made sure that everyone understood their parts, before he sent the Bahamian forces off to execute this part of the training exercise before he turned his attention to Jason. “What’s going on there?” Ray asked as he realised that Jason had more than training successfully, and Clay on his mind, as he now had to worry about Sonny.

“Who the hell would know?” Jason shrugged although he knew he had to figure it out quick although he had a fairly good idea where it had stemmed from.

“Spense is going to think Sonny’s mood is his fault boss.” Brock pointed out without hesitation as he had seen that Sonny was the only one who did not at least try and interact with the kids earlier.

Jason sighed hard and scrubbed his hand over his face trying to stave off the weariness that he felt. “He already does.” Three heads swivelled to look at him instead of watching the men in front of them as they fulfilled the requirements. Jason had remained tight lipped when he caught up with them as there were to many strangers around to catch them up so all he had told them was that he was with Lisa resting for the night and would not be joining them as he had a small bump to his forehead that was beginning to bruise and a headache to go with it.

“Sounds like we need to have a conversation boss.” Trent’s voice left no room for argument or indecision.

“I know but not here, not with listening ears.” Jason knew that his men were worried as was he, and he only hoped that Clay got some rest or at least spoke with Lisa a little while they were out although he doubted the second one given how cosy Clay looked when he had left him. Jason felt as on edge as his entire team was, and he knew they would rather be back on base surrounding their kid even if he was not prepared to explain anything to them, it would make them feel better.

“As soon as we get back to base and are dismissed from this.” Ray agreed with Trent. “Someone needs to talk to Sonny too.” That was one thing that Ray would not be volunteering for.

Jason felt his own headache beginning to form but he knew that Ray was right which annoyed him as he would like for him to be wrong just once. They all knew that Sonny had been off for the last several weeks and it was ever since the mission to Myanmar that had a small boy attached to him until he handed him to his grandparents. Jason had hoped that Sonny would do what he was known to do, drown his sorrows and move on, but for some reason he had drowned his sorrows repeatedly but not moved on instead letting what was bothering him fester and build into a wave of anger that made everyone want to avoid him. “We will deal with that when we get back to base too.” Confronting the Texan who had not looked to be any calmer was not a good idea as the anger was still radiating off of him in waves.

Brock looked down at Cerb who let out a whine as he was still lying down with his head on his paws. Brock frowned and knelt down next to him giving him a pat as he refocused on the men in front of him seeing that they were not getting things correct which was costing them precious time and could very well cost a life in a real event.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Mandy let herself into Bravo’s quarters quietly knowing that they were still out training to see Lisa stretched out on one of the men’s bunks opposite Clay reading through a file. Lisa looked up and smiled. “Hi.” Mandy kept her voice soft as she looked at Clay and smiled softly seeing that he was laid on his side facing Lisa asleep with a light blanket tucked tightly around him despite the warmth in the air. “I bought chocolate, figured we could share… Oh ouch!” She held up the block of chocolate before she caught sight of the large dark bruise to the corner of Clay’s forehead unsure as to why it surprised her as she had heard the thud that accompanied the hit.

Lisa closed the file, sat up and folded her legs underneath her as she made space for Mandy to join her. It was nearing midnight but who cared, any time was adequate for chocolate, and it was not like they kept to a regular schedule. “Hi, yeah, he wasn’t content to keep the cold pack on it, probably going to get darker before the morning.” Lisa replied knowing that he had been unsettled and she had been watching as the bruise visibly darkened. “Heard anything from the guys?”

Mandy slipped off her shoes before she sat down on the bed facing Lisa and mirrored her position with her legs tucked beneath her then set the chocolate in between them having already broken it up before she walked in. “No but they should be back soon.” She replied before she reached out and took a piece of chocolate.

Lisa reached forward and took her own piece of chocolate, savouring the first bite, before she looked at her watch once more. “They are in for a long night if they aren’t back by now, and it’s already been a long day.” For a Gucci mission, there had not been a lot of sleep as they had been teaching and training hard with the women even roped into training their counterparts.

Mandy let her eyes linger over Clay before she smiled faintly as she was always amazed at how young he looked when he was asleep. It was hard to reconcile how a man, a Tier One Operator, could look so much like a child when asleep but Clay Spenser managed it. “How is he doing really?” She knew that Bravo was worried, had seen the carefully concealed worry that blanketed Jason when he caught up with the rest of the team just moments before they set out on their training excursion.

Lisa wished she had the answer to that question but she did not. “Worried about everyone else, and the toll it took on all of us today.” She kept it simple as she did not want to disclose to much even to Mandy as it was not her place too.

Mandy looked back at Lisa seeing the apprehensive look that appeared on her face. “Worried about everyone or worried about Sonny? We all caught sight of him today, and we have all been on the receiving end of his moodiness lately, and he has been moodier than usual.” She could read between the lines, and her and Jason had already had a quick chat about his behaviour while they were at the orphanage.

“Yeah.” Lisa sighed as she took another bite of her chocolate thinking about the cluster that they found themselves in. “Do you ever think about it?”

Lisa’s question caught Mandy off guard as she was not entirely sure what she was alluding too. “Think about what?” She asked as she took the last bite of her piece of chocolate preventing it from melting in between her fingers.

“I watched you today with that little boy.” Lisa smiled recalling the thousand watt smile that Mandy wore with a child in her arms nor did she miss the subtle looks that were exchanged between her and Jason as they interacted together. If Lisa had not known better, Mandy and Jason interacting with the little boy could have been mistaken for a family, a beautiful and adoring one at that especially with the way they fawned over the boy.

“And I watched you with those girls today.” Mandy countered evasively seeing the smile that Lisa had on her face as she helped the little girls draw and colour pictures to hang on the walls of the orphanage. She was a goddamn natural.

Lisa’s smile faltered somewhat as it morphed into one tinged with sadness as she looked down at her hands after she checked on Clay once more. “You know I never saw that for myself, never considered the idea of being a mother, but then I had my miscarriage and I have never felt so empty or so alone, and I started to think about the bigger picture, about what I wanted for me, for my life outside of my career.” She kept her voice soft and was unable to keep the shakiness out of her voice which always came when she thought or spoke about her miscarriage. “The idea of being a mother, it terrifies me on some many levels, but today seeing those kids, seeing how happy they were because we were spending time with them, reminds me of everything that I thought about, that I would want to be able to give a child. I never wanted that but now I do. It still terrifies me though.”

Mandy had not known that Lisa had felt empty or alone and she wished that she could have done more but it was hard when you had never been through something like that. “I am sorry you felt and feel that way Lisa, I truly am.” She meant every word. “I have thought about it, even got that aching womb thing a few times and the cluckiness. God when RJ was born, I got incredibly clucky, lucky for me Naima let me come over and cuddle him constantly. I probably drove her crazy, and we all know that woman is a Saint. I don’t know if I will but I know its something that I have to decide on sooner rather than later thanks to that whole biological ticking clock.”

The two women were interrupted as a low groan came from Clay which was quickly followed by a guttural whimper as he tossed and turned all of a sudden. Lisa moved off of the bed and closer to Clay knowing exactly what was happening and she wanted to put an end to it before it got worse. Clay was having a nightmare. “Clay.” Lisa called loudly knowing better than to approach a trained operative in the middle of a nightmare unless it was the absolute last resort. “Clay.” She called a little bit louder but to no avail.

“Lisa.” Mandy warned seeing her move closer to Clay as she also knew the golden rule which was not to get close unless it was absolutely imperative as she got off of the bed.

The blanket slid to the floor as Clay freed himself from it as he writhed on top of the mattress increasingly frantic. Lisa moved forward deciding that it was time to wake him up at any cost, golden rule be damned. “Clay, wake up.” Lisa said loudly trying once more but instead the whimpers that seemed to be flowing from Clay only got louder until it sounded like he was sobbing despite still being asleep. Lisa could not take it any longer as she cautiously leaned down and placed her hand on Clay’s shoulder then squeezed softly as she called his name although she was prepared to get out of the way quickly if he accidently lashed out but instead he woke with a gasp forcing himself to sit up as his entire body shuddered.

“Clay, it’s okay, it was just a bad dream. You are okay.” Lisa kept her voice soft as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and before she knew it she had an armful of Clay as he folded into her with his face pressed into her neck sobbing painfully. It had to have been one hell of a nightmare as it had clearly shaken him up. Lisa ran her hand up and down his back hoping to sooth him but he was close to hyperventilating despite trying to calm himself down. She could feel her shirt become wet and stick to her skin but that was the very least of her worries. “I’ve got you, it’s okay Clay, you are okay. Just try and take a breath for me.”

Mandy quietly picked up her shoes and excused herself from the room to go and find Eric as she hoped he could pull the teams back in as it was clear that Clay needed his brothers even if he did not want to talk about what it was that his nightmare had been about instead he would draw comfort from them being around. She knew that Clay was in capable arms with Lisa until they got back.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason was relieved to have returned to base and while he knew that the team had to talk he desperately wanted to check on Clay first which no one begrudged as they all wanted to check on their youngest brother as well. Jason turned around as they reached their barracks and looked at the men. “He should be asleep.” He was cautioning them to remain quiet and when he received four nods and a nudge to the leg from Cerb he opened the door and stepped in. He suddenly stopped as his ears registered the sounds of hoarse sobs and ragged breathing before his eyes registered what he was seeing as Lisa was hugging Clay fiercely doing everything she could to calm him down.

Jason moved across the room quickly but he had not been fast enough to beat Cerb who was already on Clay’s bed and curling up next to him as much as he could as he nudged his nose into him. Jason knelt down next to the bed trying to work out what was going on as he was sure that it would not be the pain that was making Clay so upset as it should have been minor, and they had only seen him distraught on a few occasions – Brian, Adam and Swanny all came to mind.

Trent went straight into medic mode as he followed Jason over and knelt down next to him although he withheld himself from pulling Clay away from Lisa to do an examination as it looked as though Clay had a pretty firm hold on Lisa.

Brock moved after Trent however he went to the other side of the bed closest to Cerb although he had no idea what to do. There was no way that Clay should have been left if he was this distraught was what first popped into Brock’s mind but he also knew that Jason would not have left him with Lisa if he had been this bad so something must have happened afterwards. Brock withheld the wince that he wanted to release as the sobs sounded increasingly painful and he was sure that Clay’s lungs were probably burning from the hyperventilating that he seemed to be doing.

Ray turned just in time to see Sonny hightailing it out of the quarters most likely to find the nearest bar or at least whatever bottle of bootleg booze he could get his hands on. If Ray had not been so concerned by Clay then he would have been going after Sonny to drag him back but he let him go instead as he moved into the room and closed the door giving them privacy, more importantly giving Clay privacy.

Lisa let her eyes land on Jason as she continued to hold Clay tightly knowing he had calmed down considerably before they had come in but he was still struggling to breathe as sob after hoarse sob tore loose from his throat. “Nightmare.” She mouthed hoping he would understand and he acknowledged it with a nod.

Clay could not stop the sobs or the short breaths as it was like the flood dam broke, and if he could get it under control then he was sure he would be embarrassed but instead his body was filling with panic as it truly felt as though he could not breathe no matter how hard he tried to focus on Lisa’s voice and the way she was trying to sooth him.

Lisa felt the moment Clay’s struggle turned into panic as his breathing got faster until he could not make a sound. “Clay! Hey, you have got to breathe for me honey.” The term of endearment slipped from her lips but she was worried as she could feel him shaking against her and she swore that he was not breathing properly.

Jason was hesitant to reach out to Clay but nothing that Lisa was doing was calming him which was no fault of her own. “Clay, hey kid, it’s okay, we are here. You are okay.” Jason decided to see if his voice would help Clay to calm down as he gently placed his hand on the back of Clay’s neck feeling that his skin was slick with sweat but what was more concerning was how he was trembling. Lisa nodded subtly to keep Jason talking as Clay had not tensed with his hand or his words, and she was okay with him trying because what was best for Clay was to get him calmed down. “I want you to take a nice slow breath kid then release it just as slowly. Just try, it’s okay.” Jason coached although it was ineffective as it seemed that nothing was helping to slow down his breathing.

There was a momentary panic that went through everyone as Clay’s entire body went lax against Lisa’s and he ceased making any noise although his breathing was still ragged with the exception of Trent who quickly reached out and pressed his fingers to Clay’s neck to check his pulse feeling how it was racing. “He’s passed out, most likely from the lack of oxygen. Let’s get him laid down.” Trent informed the group before he helped Jason and Brock lay Clay back into his bed as his weight would have been heavy against Lisa. No one missed how red his face was or the faint blue tinge that his lips had nor did they miss the tear tracks that were down his face. Lisa stood up and stepped back so that Trent had more room as he ran through another few checks.

Ray stepped forward as Lisa stood still looking more shaken than he had seen her in a long time, and he placed his hand on her shoulder feeling as she leaned in towards him a little closer. “It had to be one hell of a nightmare.” Ray stated softly seeing that Jason had found a facecloth, wet it with water from a bottle, and was carefully wiping it over Clay’s face as Cerb settled in tight to his side while Brock sat back down on the floor and Trent kept an eye on Clay’s pulse and respirations.

Lisa shook his head bringing herself out of her shell shocked state before she looked around the room. “Where’s Sonny?” She asked softly making everyone look at her and then around the room.

Ray sighed. “He left as soon as we walked in.”

Jason sighed and squeezed the damp facecloth into a ball before he tossed it onto the nearby table. “Any idea of how long before he will be awake?” The last thing Jason wanted was for Clay to wake up alone especially after what had just gone on. None of them were strangers to nightmares, after all their job gave them a whole lot of fuel to add to that fire, and they all had various ways of coping but Jason had never seen Clay affected this way which worried him even more.

Trent turned to Jason understanding why he was asking. “He exhausted himself until he passed out. It will be a while at best guess.” However it also meant that they would be staying close.

“What do you want to do about Sonny boss?” Brock asked not relishing the idea of having to go after him and having to leave Spense but he couldn’t leave another brother alone either.

That was the million dollar question, Jason thought as he bought his hands up to his face and scrubbed at his skin before he returned one of his hands down to rest on Clay’s forearm hoping that it would provide some comfort and stave off another nightmare as Jason did not need any medical knowledge to know that his body could not go through another one so soon. “Last thing we need is for him to go off half-cocked and get into trouble.” Jason looked around knowing none of them wanted to be split but the last thing he needed was Sonny causing trouble and with the mood he was in it was a very real possibility especially once alcohol was mixed in. “Ray, Brock, go find him. I don’t care what you have to do just get him back to here.” Jason did not have the energy or focus to think about the discord between Ray and Sonny. “Actually Ray, order him to be confined to quarters effective immediately if you can’t get him to tell you what is going on with him.” It was drastic but if needed then it would be done.

Ray and Brock shared a look, neither looked ecstatic to have to go and corral Sonny especially as they had to leave Clay who was obviously struggling but they would. “We will be back soon Spense.” Brock spoke softly once he was stood up, not missing the soft smile that Lisa gave him before she returned her attention to Clay. Brock did not even try to get Cerb to come with them as the dog was not going anywhere, not with Clay down.

Jason waited until the door was closed behind Ray and Brock before he looked at Lisa who was still stood a few steps away from them. “Lisa, you okay?” He wanted to make sure she was okay before he asked her anything as the golden rule came to his mind.

Lisa’s eyes snapped to meet Jason’s. “I’m okay. I woke him but it really was the last resort, he gasped, saw me then collapsed into my arms sobbing. Really, I am fine, just worried about him.” She kept her voice soft as she moved closer kneeling beside Jason as Trent had moved round to the other side of the bed as they settled into wait. Wait for Ray and Brock to return with Sonny and wait for Clay to wake up. Either way, there would most likely be some uncomfortableness no matter which was first.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny forewent the mug as he drunk straight from the bottle having scored some rum which was not what he typically drunk but it was alcohol and he was not going to be picky about it as he sat in the gutter not far down the street from their base. There were so many things rattling around in his head and most of it did not make any sense but what he did know was that he had been left all twisted up by the mission weeks ago with Benji and he did not like it one bit yet he had no idea why or how to fix it.

And then they had taken the visit to the orphanage and he could not bare to bring himself to interact with any of the children that were there instead he had sat silently and forebodingly in the corner watching his youngest brother sensing that there was something going on with him which was confirmed by the fact he was a sobbing mess in Lisa’s arms. Sonny took another swig of rum, swallowing it down with ease, before he poked his tongue out and licked over his lips as the guilt of leaving his brother set in but he could not bring himself to return to his side just yet.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason felt as Lisa knocked her knee against his as she got his attention before she leaned forward and squeezed Clay’s hand as she had taken hold of his not long after she had settled on the floor beside Jason. Jason caught sight of what Lisa had which was that Clay’s eyelids were fluttering as he appeared to be waking up. “Hey kid, it’s okay.” Jason kept his voice soft slightly surprised that Clay was awake given Trent’s estimation as it had been no longer than forty five minutes.

A soft groan left Clay’s slightly parted lips as he opened his eyelids fully to see Jason, Lisa and Trent all beside his bed. Every part of his body ached but none more so than his chest which felt heavy and constricted. It took a few seconds to get his bearings but as soon as he did he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“How are you feeling Clay?” Trent asked softly deciding to ignore the way Clay looked away from them as he became embarrassed instead choosing to focus on his health as he had not missed his bloodshot eyes or how pale he still looked.

Clay swallowed and pushed himself up so that he was sitting up although he was careful of Cerb who was tucked tightly into him. Clay reached the hand that was not clutched in Lisa’s out and began stroking Cerb, focusing on those actions. “I’m sorry, didn’t… shouldn’t have… Sorry.” He just could not get the words out.

“Nothing to be sorry for sunshine. We all have bad dreams. Sometimes they catch us out.” Jason was speaking from experience and he knew that it was something they all shared even if they did not always openly talk about it.

Clay shuddered and it had Cerb whining softly beneath his hand. The worst part was that his nightmare felt so real, more real than any of the other ones that he had before, and no nightmare had even left him sobbing and clinging to someone before.

“You want to tell us what is going on in that big brain of yours kid?” Jason asked knowing it could be helpful or hurtful, he just was not sure which one. Clay looked up at Jason then moved his eyes around the room as a frown formed on his face wondering where the rest of the team was. “Ray and Brock are with Sonny. They will be back soon.” Jason supplied pre-empting the question that he was sure would come.

Clay lowered his eyes to his blanket covered lap again willing himself to stop trembling as he could feel it. “Sonny’s mad, isn’t he?”

Trent, Jason and Lisa all exchanged a look of disbelief, not at Clay’s words but rather the way he said them. “What makes you think that Clay?” Lisa asked before Trent or Jason could hoping that a softly pitched tone of voice would have him opening up to them.

Clay let his eyes flicker to Lisa before he dropped them down again. “You all saw him today, and he is not here now. I’m sorry.”

Lisa blew out a soft breath not wanting Clay to worry about Sonny for the moment. “What was your nightmare about Clay?” She registered the sharp glares from both men but she focused entirely on Clay.

Clay sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and chewed down on it as he screwed his eyes shut for a few seconds before he opened them again feeling as they began to get watery. “Ada, the way she looked at me just before she died.” His voice was barely above a whisper but in the silence of the room they had all heard it.

Trent looked at Jason and mouthed ‘Ada’ but Jason shook his head knowing he would explain later if he had too but he did not want to interrupt or stop Clay from talking.

“You were with her when she took her last breath?” Lisa was trying to avoid the word ‘died’ so ‘last breath’ seemed like it would be easier to hear as she could just imagine a young blonde blue eyed lanky teenage Clay trying to comfort a young dying girl because that was the sort of person he was.

“She knew, I could see that she knew. She was terrified and despite her fears she reached out to me, wanted someone to hold her.” Clay murmured as he tried not to shudder but his breath hitched as Cerb moved from his side and onto his lap.

“And you did.” Lisa gave him a watery smile of her own as she felt herself becoming teary eyed.

Clay nodded softly before he cleared his throat as it felt congested. “She looked up at me with the most stunning hazel coloured eyes that I have ever seen but they were so sad and it was like they mirrored my own. She watched me for hours as I sat with her until she finally took her last breath… but her eyes…. They, ah, they didn’t close.”

“She was sick, wasn’t she Clay?” Trent hoped for some context as to Ada’s death even though he felt so sorry for his youngest brother as he had done the maths quickly in his head and Clay would have been no older than fifteen at the time, maybe even younger, as it was not hard to figure out that Ada was someone from his past given how the day had worked out. It was hard to confirm considering how little they knew about his childhood.

“Sepsis.” Clay supplied without saying any more.

Trent nodded knowing that sepsis was a deadly infection that could worsen very quickly, and if someone went without treatment then it was truly a horrific way to die. “You know there was nothing you could have done Clay, you were just a boy. Sometimes even the best medicine is not enough to save someone despite how much we wish it could. But you know what I know brother, I know that Ada would have felt safe with you beside her.” It was important to remind Clay that there was nothing medically he could have done, and that he had made her feel safe in the hours before her death. Trent was sure he was probably missing parts of the story but it did not matter.

Jason had not missed how Lisa’s eyes had become glassy with tears and he did not blame her as he was having some trouble controlling his own emotions but he needed too. “I think the visit today might have just been a bit too much, huh kid?” The last thing he wanted Clay to do was retreat further into his head.

Clay inhaled sharply almost as if he had not been breathing before he shrugged. “It was good, just did not realise what it would bring up. I’m sorry, if I had known…” He trailed off not sure what he would have done if he had known it was going to trigger him so badly as he really did want to give the kids a small bit of joy that they did not get every day.

“Maybe you needed it Clay and that’s okay too.” Lisa tried to keep her voice as firm as she could although she knew she did not do the best job of it as she felt both sad for and proud of Clay.

Jason knew that he had questions that he wanted to ask but he also knew how hard it had been for Clay to admit what he had already and he did not miss how exhausted he still looked so he was not going to push him any more. “How’s the head feeling?” He asked having caught sight of the dark bruise that glittered Clay’s forehead along with the fairly large bump.

Clay was grateful that he was not being pushed to say more as he really did not have the energy to relive any more memories from when he spent time visiting orphans in the orphanages like the one that they found themselves in. “Got a headache.” He admitted easily highly doubting that they would not work it out anyway.

Trent smiled softly at Clay’s admission, not because he had a headache but because he had told them. “You can have some Advil if you want? And you could do with some fluids as you are probably dehydrated.” Trent knew his suggestion to pain medication would be rejected but Clay might go for an intravenous round of fluids so that he could sleep while his fluids were being replenished as Trent had not seen him drink near enough for the temperatures that they were living in. However Trent had not called him out on it as he did not want to interrupt his brother’s fun as he spent time with the children although he was slightly regretting it now.

“You want to put an I.V in him?” Jason shifted his eyes away from Clay to Trent knowing that he would only suggest it if he felt it was necessary.

Trent smiled at the overprotective paternal instincts of Jason’s. “Replenish his fluids while he gets some rest. He has not had near as much as we have had to drink today.”

Clay knew that Trent would not suggest it if he did not feel strongly. “Trent, just do it.” He had no problems with the medic and truthfully he was feeling more fatigued by the minute as he shifted enough for Cerb to move down so he was between his legs with his head rested across his hip.

Lisa let go of Clay’s hand, stood up, leaned over and gently tucked the blanket around him as Trent finished getting the cannula in and the I.V hooked up and flowing seeing that his eyelids were fluttering once more. “Get some sleep blue eyes.” She whispered softly as she brushed her fingertips over his forehead hoping that he would sleep peacefully now that he had spoken about Ada however she still knew that there would be more nightmares to come despite how much she hoped there would not be. Lisa righted herself but before she could go far Clay reached out and grabbed her hand stopping her from moving away. She did not have to ask Clay what he wanted as she sat back down on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his.

Jason smiled softly despite the confliction he felt as he glanced towards the door wondering where the hell Brock and Ray had got to with Sonny but then again Sonny could be as hard headed and stubborn as an ox so they had no easy task to find and corral him. “We will be right here when you wake up kid.”

Clay opened his mouth then closed it as he decided against saying what he was going to, that he did not need them to stay close, but he did, he wanted them too. Instead he inhaled deeply and exhaled as he relaxed back into the mattress trying to ignore the fear that was building as he did not want to have another nightmare but staying awake was not going to help him either as he allowed his eyelids to flutter closed once more and stay that way.

Lisa, with her free hand, reached out and began to pat Cerb while still clutching Clay’s hand in her other as she watched as his breathing evened out as he fell asleep again although this time it was slightly deeper and she knew that was because Jason and Trent were nearby. She would never hold it against him and she could understand the feeling of safety that being around the men of Bravo provided. She shifted her gaze from Clay to Jason seeing that he had gotten himself comfortable on the floor beside his bed. “Jason, he’s okay.” She found herself reassuring him and herself.

Jason looked up at Lisa giving a soft smile that was laced with sadness. “I know.” There were so many things going on in Jason’s head as he tried to process what they had learned, and once again he was absolutely amazed at Clay’s strength. Watching a child die, hell watching anyone die, was one of the most horrific things to watch, but to be a kid himself and watch a young girl die was something that astounded Jason because he knew that Clay would have done his upmost to provide Ada whatever comfort he could in her time of need.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray blew out a breath as he spied Sonny sitting down in the gutter not far from where they stood in the middle of the road. “Brock.” Ray nodded his head towards Sonny knowing that they had looked everywhere they could think of on base before they had ventured outside of the wire, having decided not to split up as it was late and not ideal to be wondering around on their own.

Brock, like Ray, was itching to get back to the barracks as he was still uncomfortable with having to leave Clay to go look for their brooding Texan so finding him was good but what was not good was that he looked to be almost completely through an entire bottle of rum, and it was potent rum to be drinking on an empty stomach. “Any idea of how you are going to handle this?” Brock was not about to play rock, paper, scissors, to work out who was going to talk to Sonny. Nope that was Ray’s domain, Brock decided as they changed their trajectory and headed towards their brother.

Ray looked at Brock seeing that his brother was clearly throwing him under the metaphorical bus. He looked to the night sky and groaned before he scrubbed his hand over his face wearily. “Let’s just see what Sonny we have got.” Ray knew that rum was not Sonny’s drink, and with the mood he was in it could go either way. The two men made their way down the street frowning at each other as Sonny did not even look up at them instead he stared longingly at the pavement in front of him as he took another swig directly from the bottle.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you brother.” Ray said loudly hoping not to startle Sonny as he and Brock sat down on either side of him. “Think you have had enough brother.” There were only a few mouthfuls left in the bottle but it did not need to be finished.

Sonny snorted at Ray’s words and just to be spiteful he finished the bottle before letting it fall to the pavement with a clunk as it stopped against his boot.

Ray and Brock exchanged a look knowing just by that action and the noise he made that they had a battle on their hands, one that they were unprepared for, and one that they did not have the energy to deal with as they wanted nothing more then to get back to their little brother and get some sleep but Sonny was their brother too and he clearly needed them even if he did not want them. “You want to tell us what has got you so fired up?” Brock decided to throw caution to the wind hoping to speed the process along.

Sonny clenched his jaw tightly, grinding his teeth, and wishing for a toothpick but he did not have one on him. “Nothin’.” He grunted out desperately wishing for another bottle of rum, hell he would take just about anything if it meant he did not have to deal with his feelings.

“Sonny Quinn loves Gucci deployments usually but not this one. Come on brother, you are moody as hell, shutting everyone out, turning away from Clay when he clearly needs us, and outside the wire drinking on your own.” Ray laid out the facts; it was either going to piss Sonny off to make him talk or make him hit him. Never, not once, had Ray seen Sonny turn away from Clay. After all, he had seen the Texan go to the ends of the earth for Clay, for all of them before.

Sonny clenched his jaw tighter and his entire body flooded with anger. Anger towards everything. He did not need all his mistakes being pointed out to him and he sure as hell did not need Ray to be the one doing it. “He was the one who did it to himself.” Sonny growled out although he immediately wished that he could take it back as he did not mean it at all.

Brock frowned at the bitter statement then felt angry at the way his brother was acting, disappointed even. “Wow, Sonny, do you really think he did what he did today for himself? How can you not see the wider implications of today?” Brock would not stay quiet, not when Sonny was blaming Clay for struggling.

Sonny turned his head towards Brock and squinted wondering what the hell he was going on about. “Wider what?” He drawled really wishing he had held off drinking the last of the rum.

“Implications, wider implications Sonny!” Brock raised his voice emphasising the words. “The kid shared a part of himself with us today without really realising it, and inadvertently put himself through hell because of it, all because he wanted to spread a little joy and make those little kids smile.” Brock explained slowly as if Sonny had trouble comprehending his words.

Ray nodded at Brock’s words agreeing completely with them. “We all have things that hit us when we least expect it brother.” He started then paused trying to figure out the best way to word his next sentence. “I think having four year old Benji completely and implicitly trust you hit you harder than you expected especially when you had to hand him over after we landed, and I think having to watch Mandy tell him that his parents had died hurt you because you saw and felt his sadness.” As far as Ray could ascertain, that was when Sonny’s mood had fouled or at least it was where it stemmed from.

Sonny stood up abruptly ignoring the slight sway that came with the sudden movement as he lifted his hands to his head and placed them on top of his head as he took a few steps forward so that he was standing in the middle of the abandoned road with his back to his brothers. Sonny swore he felt his heart crack as his eyes welled which he fought hard to ignore and stop all at the same time. “Do you think Clay was like Benji?” His voice petered out.

Ray and Brock who had been watching their brother whilst they waited him out were both equally surprised at Sonny’s question. “What do you mean Sonny?” Brock asked leaning forward a little, tilting his head to the side, as he tried to see his face but it was no use.

“Do you think that Clay once had that implicit trust in strangers like Benji did?” Sonny had no idea what compelled him to ask really but it was at the forefront of his mind. He could picture a little Clay looking up at a stranger with those big blue eyes with nothing but implicit trust, and he could see the comparison between him and Benji. “I watched him today, its all I did, and he knew what those kids needed because he needed it once too, I guess.”

Brock felt as his jaw dropped as Sonny’s assertion and while he had not wanted to presume he did tend to agree that it made sense. He looked over at Ray who looked equally as stunned by Sonny’s comparison between the two, and which somehow had them floundering for a response. They each had their own ideas about Clay’s childhood, the parts that they did not know, but it was not something they spoke about often or at all however clearly it was something that was firmly rattling around in Sonny’s head.

Ray knew that he had spoken to Naima at length in the privacy of their home about his suspicions about Clay’s childhood a few times in the past but hearing Sonny’s thought made him feel like he had been hit in the stomach as it coiled tightly. “I think Clay trusts us implicitly now brother and I think he needs us now.” It was the best that Ray could come up with.

Sonny’s shoulders dropped as Ray’s word hit him and he felt like he had failed his little brother just like he had failed Benji. “I failed them.” In the silence of the street the words could just barely be heard but they were.

“Failed who brother?” Brock asked as he leaned forward knowing that it was best not to approach Sonny just yet.

“Both of them, I failed both of them.” Sonny bowed his head forward as he let his hands drop from his head as he turned around to face Brock and Ray hoping that the darkness would conceal his glassy eyes.

“You didn’t fail either of them brother. Benji got to go home with his grandparents who will do everything they can in their power to make sure he knows who his parents were and how much they loved him. You were with him when he needed you brother.” Ray paused seeing that he had hit it spot on as Sonny’s chest hitched but he had no idea where to start with Clay.

Brock could see the struggle that Ray was having to continue and he knew that Benji had been covered which just left Clay. “You know one of the best things about our little brother Sonny? He has the amazing ability to forgive. He may not be the best at explaining himself but he lets us in by other means. He shows us parts of him because he trusts us. Not once have you ever failed him, not tonight, not in Manila, never.” Brock knew that mentioning Manila was wondering dangerously close to dangerous territory but he knew that Sonny still struggled with Manila like they all did as it had scarred them all.

Sonny’s shoulders folded inwards as his whole body convulsed as he let out a sob unwillingly hating the memory that flashed through his mind at the mere mention of Manila as he could still vividly recall the vacant look in Clay’s eyes when he reached him moments after the bomb tore his leg apart. He covered his face with his hands as he breathed deeply desperately trying to stop himself from being an emotional mess.

It took only a second before Ray and Brock had crossed the short distance from the gutter to their brother, kneeling down on either side of him with their hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay brother.” Ray kept his voice soft knowing that Sonny hated to be seen as weak but it was not weakness that he was exhibiting. Sonny felt strongly, had a heart of gold, but he always tried to keep it hidden under those dense layers that he liked to keep around himself.

Brock waited for a few moments letting Sonny compose himself although they would all keep quiet and let him blame it on the rum. “You want to go see our little brother?” Brock was keen to get back and he just hoped that Sonny was agreeable to it sooner rather than later.

Sonny inhaled deeply as he nodded feeling somewhat lighter although the rum was causing him some issues as it definitely did not sit well on an empty stomach.

“Alright, up you get.” Ray could feel the relief he felt and he could see Brock’s as he shuffled back and rose up onto his feet with Brock mirroring his actions before they both helped to haul Sonny up off of the ground.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason looked up as the door opened feeling a momentarily rush of relief flow through him as the door opened and in stepped Brock who was quickly followed by Sonny and then Ray although Sonny looked a little worse for wear but Jason knew when to pick his battles and now was not the time as the last thing he wanted was to upset Sonny and in turn wake Clay when he was finally resting peacefully.

“He okay?” Brock pointed towards the intravenous drip that had saline flowing through the tubing freely into Clay’s body knowing that it had not been there when he and Ray had left.

Trent could see the concern shining bright in Brock’s eyes although he knew some of the concern was alleviated by the fact that Cerb was still at Clay’s side and that he, Jason and Lisa were watching over him. “Had a headache and is a little bit dehydrated but he is fine.” Trent kept it brief knowing that it was not exactly what Brock was asking. Yes, Brock was asking about the intravenous drip but he was asking more than that.

Jason smiled at his team, at how they rallied around, before he looked back at Clay who was still asleep.

Sonny had stopped a few feet away from the end of the bed and shifted his weight from side to side as he took in the sight in front of him seeing Clay was sleeping peacefully while Lisa sat on one side of him with his hand clutched tightly in her own while Cerb was curled up in between his legs. He swallowed thickly feeling as though his mouth had suddenly gone dry and he was regretting drinking the entire bottle of rum as he took in the sight of his little brother seeing that he was paler than usual and he had dark circles beneath his eyes.

There was nothing that they could do except stay as quiet as possible and let Clay sleep while making sure that he did not suffer from another nightmare for the rest of the night so they settled down around the room all within a close distance of him just in case they were needed.


	4. Glimpses Of The Future

**_ Glimpses Of The Future – Lisa Davis _ **

Sonny smiled broadly as he took the toothpick out of his mouth and tossed it into the bin that he was passing by as he wrapped his arm around Lisa’s shoulders pulling her body in close to his as they wondered slowly through the Sunday morning market that Lisa had dragged him out too as she had been meaning to check it out for a while but between their recent bout of spin up after spin up she had not had a chance. The sun was high in the sky bathing them in warmth while the light breeze kept them cool enough that the warmth was enjoyable but not overwhelming. The market was full of all sorts of stalls from fresh farm produce and flowers to jewellery and fashion, to carvings and beautifully crafted knifes, as well as the divine smells of all sorts of different foods that were being cooked all around them. Truth was Sonny did not care about the market but he did care about Lisa who did not often want to go anywhere, not with such passion, and if it made her happy then he wanted her to enjoy their Sunday morning stroll through the market.

“Want to get a coffee?” Lisa asked breaking Sonny out of his musing as she knew that she had dragged him out of bed far too early for a Sunday morning after having woken him up although it was with a promise that they could take an afternoon nap together.

Sonny smiled as he looked at Lisa as he felt her hand that was resting on his chest slowly move across it with her fingers dancing over the fabric of his shirt sending his nerve endings into overdrive. “I want more than coffee.” Sonny leered as he let the hand that was resting across her lower back drop down to her bottom which he squeezed.

“Behave Sonny. We are in public remember.” Lisa reprimanded teasingly although he could see how her interest was peaked as there was a twinkle in her eyes.

Sonny chuckled as he moved his hand back up although he bought it forward letting his fingertips slip under the hem of her shirt and brush over the jut of her hip bone feeling the shiver go through her which made him smirk as it was exactly the reaction he was looking for from her as she pressed her body closer into him. There was no man alive that would enjoy having her body pressed against his more than Sonny. “We will start with the coffee.” He could not resist making her shiver one more time before they separated as he swept his fingertips over the sensitive spot on her hip again.

“Yeah, we will.” Lisa laughed as she reluctantly pulled herself away from him although she remain tucked into his side with her arm around his back as his arm remained draped over her shoulders. She was quickly distracted by the sight of a dress that was gently fluttering in the breeze on its hanger, it was gorgeous. She was not one for dresses all the time but she did like to get dressed up from time to time, and there was something that stuck out to her about it. It was a white satin striped material with spaghetti straps and cup detailing body-con dress; it was short but she actually did not mind it.

Sonny saw the way Lisa smiled and he followed her line of sight before his jaw dropped. “I think you should go and try it on.” He did not even have to ask what she was looking at as she turned to look at him with a small flush rising on her cheeks. What he was not saying was that he wanted to see her in the dress knowing she would look even better than what he was already imagining in his head.

“Sonny.” Lisa poked the tip of her tongue out between her lips as she looked at him before she looked back at the dress.

“Please Lisa, for me. I want to see you in that dress.” Sonny’s voice was barely above a whisper as it took on a husky tone.

Lisa raised an eyebrow questioningly as she raised her hand up to his jaw with her thumb caressing the corner of his lips before she reached up and pecked him on the lips before she looked back at the dress. “Okay.” She whispered seemingly matching his tone as she could see the lust in his eyes that simply the thought of her in the dress was causing him.

With that agreement Sonny easily led Lisa over to the booth where the dress was and let go of her as the lady whose stall it was excitedly handed the dress over to Lisa and ushered her into the makeshift changing booth that she had set up a little further towards the back of the stall.

Lisa smoothed her hand down the silky satin fabric from her hip to the hem of the dress which went down to the middle of her thigh. It fit perfectly almost as if it was made just for her. She wished that she had a pair of strappy heels to complete the look but bare feet would have to do as she had kicked off her boots before she had taken off her jeans. She exhaled softly knowing that she would not be leaving the market without the dress as she turned around ready to walk out to show Sonny.

Sonny felt a little out of place standing in the middle of the stall of one off pieces of ladies clothing that were neatly and painstakingly hand stitched but he had seen the enamoured look on Lisa’s face at the sight of the dress and he would not have let her leave without at least trying it on. Sonny heard Lisa call her name and he turned towards the makeshift changing room and felt as his jaw dropped as the rest of the world fell away as if they were the only two people. His woman was in a beautiful dress that fit her perfectly, bare foot, with her face devoid of make-up and her short hair gently blowing in the breeze. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. But what caught Sonny off guard was the feeling he got seeing her in white; in white he could picture her walking down the aisle towards him just as she was now.

Lisa swallowed as she watched Sonny closely wondering what he was thinking as he had not said anything. “Sonny?” The anticipation was killing her as she called out to him suddenly wondering if he did not like the dress or her in it.

Sonny cleared his throat as he raked his eyes up over Lisa’s body until he met her eyes. “You look absolutely stunning, gorgeous Lisa.” His voice was husky and tightly controlled as he watched how she lit up and smiled widely up at him.

“Yeah?” She was not fishing for a compliment instead she wanted to make sure he really liked the dress.

Sonny moved forward closing the gap between them quickly as he stood in front of her with his hands reaching out and resting over her fabric covered waist. “You have no idea how beautiful you are Lisa without the dress or with it, I don’t care what you wear or don’t wear because you always look beautiful.” He was not reserved with his words because to him she was simply stunning. “Now you better get back in there and get changed because I wouldn’t want to peel that dress off of you and have you screaming my name for everyone to hear right now.” He smirked as she slapped his chest lightly although he certainly had plans to get her back into their bed later on in the day.

Lisa felt as a blush bloomed on her cheeks as she knew that Sonny meant every single word as he would not lie about something like that, not to her, not between them. “I love you.” She whispered as she pressed her forehead against his for a few seconds before she stepped back into the changing room and closed the curtain.

Sonny blinked a few times before he moved away to stop himself from fulfilling his own needs instead choosing to pay the lady for the dress knowing that he wanted to see Lisa in it again. There was something incredible to him about seeing Lisa in a white dress that he wanted to see again and again, for as long as he lived.

Lisa smiled as she stepped out changed back into her flannel shirt, jeans and boots with a scarf draped loosely round her neck, and before she could even pull her wallet out, the lady took the dress, packaged it neatly and put it into the bag. “This dress was made for you.” The storekeeper commented as she handed Lisa the bag with a glance in Sonny’s direction when she went to pay for it. Lisa thanked her before she moved towards Sonny who was surveying the market from where he was stood and she knew it was a natural habit for him to do as the Navy had conditioned him to be observant of his surroundings at all times.

Sonny turned instinctively back to Lisa as she approached him. “Ready to go and get that coffee?” He asked smiling as he pulled her into his side loving how it felt having her tucked into him.

“Thank you, you didn’t have too.” Lisa told him as admittedly she had no idea of how much it cost.

Sonny led Lisa away from the stall at a leisurely pace as they finally headed towards the coffee cart that they had spied earlier. “I know I did not have too but I wanted too.” There were so many things swirling around in his head but all of them revolved around the beautiful woman that loved him and that he loved wholeheartedly. Things were complicated and yet somehow he wanted to make them more complicated as that niggling picture of her in a white dress settled in his brain and even deeper in his heart but he knew the sacrifices that they would have to make and neither of them were ready for that either.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The dark grey clouds rolled in not long after they had finished their coffees as they continued to explore the stalls of the market, making a couple of small purchases along the way although Lisa had bought a couple of gifts for Sonny but had yet to give them to him as she wanted to surprise him with them later.

“It looks like it is going to rain soon.” Lisa stated softly not wanting the morning to end as she was enjoying the normality that came with spending a morning at the market, shopping and meandering leisurely with the man she loved.

Sonny looked up towards the sky that had darkened significantly in the last few minutes before he looked back at Lisa. “You ready to go home?” He asked wanting it to be her choice as she was enjoying herself, and a little rain was not going to hurt them if they choose to continue to look around.

“Yeah, I am.” Lisa was ready to go home as she wanted to curl up with Sonny and spend the rest of the day lazily cuddling and napping while stealing kisses from him.

Sonny smiled and responded by stealing a quick kiss from her lips just as the sound of a child wailing sounded out and had the two of them pulling apart and frantically looking around as they were immediately on alert.

Lisa looked to her left and saw a little girl dressed in a black dress with big red polka dots on it standing about 26 feet away from her looking around frantically as big teardrops slid down her cheeks and fell onto her shoes as she cried out for her Mommy. Yet what shocked Lisa the most was the way people were ignoring the little girl who was obviously distressed. “Sonny.” Lisa barely let the word slip from her lips before she was making her way across the distance knowing that he would follow her.

Lisa stopped about a foot and a half away from the little girl and knelt down in front of her wanting to be as non-threatening as she could be. “Hi honey, my name is Lisa. Can I help you?” Lisa kept her voice soft as the little girl looked terrified.

“I lost my Mommy.” The little girl cried and hiccupped after a few moments of hesitation as she looked around for her Mom again.

“What’s your name honey? Maybe I can help you find your Mom.” Lisa did not want to scare the already scared little girl who had the most startling grey eyes she had ever seen.

“M-Morgan.” Morgan hiccupped again as she drew her thumb into her mouth once again anxiously looking around for her mother.

“It’s nice to meet you Morgan. Where did you last see your Mom?” Lisa was glad that it was her and Sonny that had approached the helpless little girl because she knew that she would be safe with them, at least until they located her Mom.

“Over there.” Morgan used her free hand to point over to the large stall that was filled with wooden barrels full of fresh cut flowers straight from the garden as she spoke around her thumb that was still pressed against her lips.

Lisa followed Morgan’s pointing before she returned her gaze to the shivering little girl before she stood up as the cement was hard on her knees. “Morgan, this is Sonny. We are going to help you find your Mom. What is her name?” Lisa knew it was best to stay close to where she had last seen her mother although it was kind of strange that her mother had not heard her wail and had moved away without making sure she was beside her.

Sonny stepped forward and naturally his hand found its way to rest on her lower back as he had deliberately hung back as he did not want to scare Morgan; hanging back had given him a front row seat to another beautiful sight as he got to witness just how amazing Lisa was with children, how maternal she was even though he did not think that she realised just how good she was. “Hi.” He kept his voice soft and tried to clamp down on the Texan drawl.

Morgan sniffled as she stepped closer and took Lisa’s hand in her own waiting until Lisa had wrapped her hand around hers before she looked around the market again for her Mom. “Mommy.” Morgan answered as a few more tears slipped down her cheeks. “But sometimes people call her Susan.” She supplied as Lisa nodded.

“Alright honey.” Lisa smiled down at Morgan as she shuffled closer to her. “I think I saw a little information kiosk near the entrance when we first came in. Maybe she went there or we can find an officer who can help?” She looked to Sonny.

Sonny understood what Lisa was saying as he shifted his gaze to Morgan who had begun to shiver as the air had cooled rapidly and the sky had darkened considerably. He knew they could not risk removing her from the area where she and her Mom had been separated so it meant that he and Lisa had to separate momentarily. “Okay, I will go and see if I can find someone. Maybe they have a PA system, can interrupt the music and let her Mom know that she is waiting by the flower stall.” He kept his voice soft before he pecked Lisa on the lips. He went to move away but stopped and shrugged off his flannel shirt leaving him in a black t-shirt, it was not much but it would help stave off the cold a little bit. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He said as he pressed the shirt into Lisa’s hand before he left.

Lisa watched as Sonny retreated away from her and Morgan but hearing Morgan sniff had her attention as she knelt down in front of her again. “Let’s move just over there honey, it will be a little warmer.” Lisa wrapped Sonny’s shirt around Morgan ignoring how it swallowed her as she tipped her head towards the flower stall that had a large marquee erected to protect the flowers from the elements that was closed in.

“Okay.” Morgan said before she let Lisa lead her over towards the marquee slowly as she once again looked around for her Mom.

Morgan sat herself down on the curb with her knees tucked up to her chest as she held tightly onto Sonny’s shirt with one hand while her other hand clutched Lisa’s tightly as she sat next to her. “It’s okay honey. We will find your Mom.” Lisa reassured her knowing that she could not hug the girl to comfort her like every instinct in her body was telling her too given how she had only met her because she had been crying for her Mom so instead she settled her free hand on her small back and ran her hand gently over the flannel shirt of Sonny’s trying to warm her up with the friction.

Morgan sniffled and a few more tears slipped from her eyes and flowed down her cheeks dripping down onto her knees.

Lisa hated that she could not comfort the little girl and desperately wished that her mother would appear so that she would stop crying. “What were you and your Mom doing at the market today honey?” Lisa asked hoping that she could distract her by getting her talking.

Morgan looked at Lisa wide eyed before she looked back over her small shoulder at the flowers. “We came to get flowers for the table. Mommy wanted new pretty flowers even though Daddy said they were a waste.”

“The flowers are pretty, which are your favourites?” Lisa asked having heard the hint of sadness that laced Morgan’s tone and could read between the lines well enough to suspect that the flowers had caused some type of argument between Morgan’s parents.

“I like those.” Morgan pointed to the sunflowers that were big and bright as they were in full bloom. “What do you like?”

Lisa looked around the stall before she turned back to Morgan. “Well my absolute favourite flower is not here; its called a bluebonnet but I also like roses.” She admitted knowing that Sonny had been the one to introduce her to bluebonnets knowing the symbolism that they held by him gifting them to her. The fact that they were native to Texas only made them even more precious as it was very rarely that she got them which made them all the more special when she did.

“Mommy likes roses, pink ones because Daddy always used to give them to her but he doesn’t anymore.” Morgan supplied confirming Lisa’s suspicions that Morgan’s parents relationship was not great.

Lisa felt as a pit in her stomach formed wondering if Morgan’s separation from her mother was more than just accidental but she pushed it aside unaccepting of the thought that rattled around her brain. “My friend Clay bought me some yellow roses once and they were beautiful, actually he gets them for me once a year, and occasionally Sonny will get me orange roses if he can’t get the bluebonnets.” She had no idea why she was telling a little girl who got her flowers. Clay always bought her a bouquet of yellow flowers although he pretended that he never did and he only gave them to her once a year – on the date that she lost her baby and if he could not get them cause they were deployed or spun up then he made sure to get something with a yellow rose on it, once he had got her a bouquet of yellow paper roses that she still had; she had asked him once after she had caught him putting them on her desk and he had told her to look up what the colour meant and she had, yellow roses meant friendship, to care, and that they were considered a good choice for someone needing a bit of a happiness. Sonny had drunkenly confessed that he bought her orange roses after the florist had told him what they symbolised after he could not find his beloved bluebonnets - passion, attraction, desire and fascination.

Morgan smiled softly as she peered up at Lisa and squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Thank you for helping me.”

Lisa smiled suddenly overwhelmed but doing her best not to show it. “You are welcome honey.”

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny hurried back across the market as the first spits of rain began to fall before it settled into that terrible drizzle that continuously fell down and covered everything making things slippery as the warmth seeped away and changed into a bitter cold. His visit to the information kiosk had been rather unhelpful but he had found a local police officer who was going to hand off a thief that he had caught to another patrol car that was on his way then he would come and find them after he had shown the officer his Navy identification.

Sonny stopped in the middle of the now empty blocked off road seeing Lisa with Morgan pressed into her side and her arm wrapped around the little girl protectively as she tried to keep her out of the rain without being out of sight just in case. Sonny was floored by how natural Lisa was with children, and in that moment he wondered what she wanted. As quickly as that thought appeared, he shelved it as it was not the time or the place too.

Sonny moved across the rest of the road narrowing the distance between him and them until there was none left seeing as Lisa looked up and sent a smile his way even as her damp hair stuck to her skin. “An officer is on his way over to help, he just had to hand someone over.” He kept the information safe to hear for small ears.

Lisa smiled and nodded her head just as she looked back at Morgan knowing that Sonny would not take any offence to it. Sonny shifted so that he was sat on the curb next to Lisa and his hand automatically went to her back hating that she felt cold to the touch but knowing that they could not move and seek shelter otherwise it could cause a whole boatload of trouble that neither of them needed or wanted while he kept a firm grip with his other hand on the bags that held their shopping.

“So what have you two ladies been chatting about?” Sonny asked longing for a toothpick to chew on but he did not have one.

“We were talking about flowers, our favourites.” Lisa supplied.

“Is that right?” Sonny asked curiously as he lent back a bit further to get his face out of the drizzle.

“What’s your favourite flower Sonny?” Morgan asked him making Lisa smile.

“Well you see now that is a great question there youngin’.” Sonny answered as he looked at Lisa who stifled a laugh at his over exaggerated tone but it got Morgan to smile. “I am particularly fond of bluebonnets because they remind me of someone very special.” He could not help the way his eyes drifted to meet Lisa’s wishing he could steal a kiss but he knew better than too.

“That’s one of Lisa’s too!” Morgan pointed out with the exuberance that only an excitable child could have.

Lisa smiled and shook her head before she looked back at Morgan knowing that Sonny already knew the information.

Sonny smiled at Lisa, one of those genuine unabashed smiles that showed just how happy he was, as he always loved when he gave Lisa flowers because she would get all girly on him as she would bow her head, let her eyelids flutter closed until her silky eyelashes rested delicately against the top of her cheeks, before she bought the flowers up to her nose and smelt them with a broad smile on her face. There were many things that she did that made their way onto his list of favourites but that one action sequence had to be near the top. “That’s why I give them to her cause I know how much she likes them, and every lady deserves to get flowers.”

A faint colouring came over Lisa’s cheeks as she blushed at Sonny’s words as he reminded her of yet another reason why she loved him although she did not need flowers to be reminded of that at all. Under that thick ornery façade was a gentleman with a heart of absolute pure gold.

Morgan smiled broadly before it faltered as her small eyes once again searched around the market that was emptying quicker as the rain got heavier for her Mom but not seeing her again.

Sonny and Lisa shared a look having seen that the little girl who despite her brave face was still anxiously looking around for her Mom, desperately waiting for her return. “It’s going to be okay honey, I am sure your Mom will be back soon.” Lisa rubbed her hand over her back once more hoping that her words would come to fruition soon although she could not help but be sceptical as it seemed more and more like Morgan had been abandoned.

Sonny caught sight of the police officer making his way towards them and quickly untangled himself from Lisa before he stood up and made his way over to greet the officer.

“Petty Officer Quinn. Officer Mark Jacobs. I take it that is the young girl that has been separated from her mother.” The two men shook hands.

Sonny looked back at Lisa and Morgan seeing Lisa was rubbing Morgan’s back trying to comfort her. “Yes Sir, and that is Ensign Lisa Davis with her.” Sonny answered formally knowing that all he had said when they first met was that his friend was still with the little girl.

“Okay, shall we drop the formalities?” Mark asked not one for being addressed by his rank.

“Sure.” Sonny was happy to not be addressed as Petty Officer when he was on his own time.

“May I talk to her?” Mark asked as he watched how Lisa and Morgan interacted seeing that Lisa was good with the scared little girl although he refrained from saying anything in relation to that.

“Of course.” Sonny led the way as he took a seat beside Lisa again. “Lisa, this is Mark. Morgan this is Mark and he is a police officer who is going to help us find your Mom.”

Mark crouched down although he maintained a distance as he did not want to overwhelm the little girl whose eyes once again looked anxiously around the market. “Hi sweet pea, these kind people tell me that you have lost your Mom. Well I want to help so could you tell me your last name and your address?” He kept his voice soft not wanting to scare her although he did notice the way she seemed to squeeze Lisa’s hand a little tighter.

Morgan looked at Lisa seeking permission and reassurance. “It’s okay honey, this officer just wants to help you get home to your Mom and Dad.” Lisa reassured her quickly.

Morgan turned back to Mark after a few more seconds of looking at Lisa. “Summers, my last name.” She paused and her bottom lip began to quiver again. “We move a lot, I don’t know the address.” A few tears slipped from her eyes again and tumbled down her cheeks at that admission.

“That’s okay sweet pea. What is your Dad’s name?” Mark already had been given the information that Sonny had gleamed from Lisa’s conversation with the little girl before he had gone in search of help.

“Justin.” Morgan replied as she snuggled closer into Lisa’s side, and Lisa wrapped her arm around her a little tighter.

Mark could see that the little girl did not want to answer any more questions and he could not blame her. “Thank you sweet pea, you have been very helpful. I will be back in a minute.” He wanted to step away to make the call hoping that he could get an address for her parents just off of their names and that it was current given what she had said about moving around a lot. With a single solemn nod at Lisa and Sonny he stood up and moved away ignoring the way the rain fell down on him as he made a call.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny bounced his foot up and down until Lisa reached over and rested her hand on top of his knee, stilling his actions, but he could not help it as the flurry of activity moved around him as they found themselves at the police station with Morgan as they waited for the police to locate her parents which seemed to be proving difficult. Neither him nor Lisa would have left the young girl at the market and they were not about to leave her alone at the police station that they had been escorted too as the search of the market had not found Susan.

Morgan had climbed into Lisa’s lap once they were seated in the uncomfortable plastic chairs that they had been escorted to as the noise and all of the activity was disorientating to the scared little girl. Lisa had wrapped her arm loosely around Morgan as she rested back against her chest.

Lisa felt as anxious as Sonny did but she was doing her best not to show it as she did not want to upset Morgan but she was seriously beginning to wonder how a mother could forget her child but then again she knew the pain of never having her mother around when she was younger before the fire that claimed her sister’s life.

Sonny felt as Lisa tensed before seeing her pale. “Lisa.” He called for her attention wondering what was going on in her head but knowing better than to ask without being in the privacy of one of their homes. He waited until she turned to look at him. “You okay?” He asked softly.

Lisa gave him a small smile before she looked down at Morgan whose little fingers were drawing small patterns over her arm which was keeping her entertained. “I am okay.” She assured him although it sounded hollow even to her own ears. “How long have we been here?” She asked knowing this was not how they had planned for their day to go at all but then again they were used to having their plans changed at the drop of a hat.

Sonny looked up at the clock that was hung up on the wall knowing he had clocked the time when they had first entered the station as he had followed behind the patrol car that had Lisa and Morgan in, in Lisa’s car. “A little over an hour.” Sonny knew that it was closer to the hour and a half mark but it did not matter all that much.

“Hmmm…” Lisa adjusted just enough to rest her head down on Sonny’s shoulder without upsetting Morgan.

Sonny reached up and brushed the strand of hair that had fallen over her face back behind her ear before he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “They will find them.” He murmured softly not wanting Morgan to overhear him as he made sure to stay still so that they were comfortable.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

“Mommy! Daddy!” Morgan wiggled and slid down off of Lisa’s lap before she ran across to her parents as they had been escorted into the room by Officer Mark who had done his upmost to find them and from the looks of it he had succeeded. Morgan practically jumped into her Dad’s arms as he scooped her up and held her tightly against his chest as her Mom rubbed her back and cried openly.

Lisa pushed herself up and onto her feet as Sonny mirrored her movements watching as Morgan was reunited with her parents which was a sweet moment.

Mark, the police officer, still had a few questions for Morgan’s mom Susan especially given they had found her at home with her husband Justin completely oblivious that they were missing their child, and so would social services. However he knew that Morgan had gotten lucky with two Navy members coming to her aid as he had seen how they cared for her even though it had only been for a short time. Mark moved across the room and stopped beside Sonny.

“What happens now?” Lisa asked softly after she had cleared her throat but her throat still felt clogged as she continued watching the way Morgan’s parents fawned over her. Whatever was going on between the parents clearly did not affect the love they had for the daughter if what they were witnessing was anything to go by.

Mark looked at Lisa wishing he could hold off for a little longer before saying anything but he knew better than to keep them waiting. “I have some questions that they need to answer individually, and a social worker from social services will pay them a visit in the coming days.”

“Where were they when you finally found them?” Sonny asked as he rubbed his hand over Lisa’s spine feeling like there was something that he was missing.

“At home, Justin was working from his office at their home while Susan was in the greenhouse gardening. Neither of them seemed to even notice that Susan had returned without Morgan or that she was not even in the house.” That was what was troubling to the police officer as parents were always frantic when they lost their children even if it was just at the local grocery store but these two did not even realise that their little girl had been left all by her lonesome.

“How could they forget that sweet little girl?” Lisa asked shaking her head wondering if what she was seeing was the real relationship or a show but it was not her place to question it.

“That’s what I want to find out.” Mark was watching the family closely as he tried to get a read on their dynamics.

“Mommy, Daddy, I want you to meet Lisa and Sonny.” Morgan had wiggled and squirmed until her father had put her back down on the ground and she skipped across the room to where the two were standing observing. She stopped at Lisa’s side and smiled up at her.

Mark stepped forward. “Lisa and Sonny were the kind people who heard Morgan crying out for you and stayed with her up until now.”

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Justin reached his hand out and shook hands with Sonny and then Lisa. “Thank you so much for taking care of my little girl.” No one missed the sharp and bitter look that was directed towards his wife before he turned and smiled down at Morgan

“Not a problem Sir. We are just glad that she is okay, and back with the both of you.” Lisa addressed Justin all the while watching Susan who seemed to have her eyes anywhere but on her daughter.

“Susan, you should be apologising to Morgan and thanking Lisa and Sonny who cared for our daughter after you forgot her.” The sharp tone from Justin made Susan visibly blanch.

“Yes, sorry, thank you for taking care of her.” Susan robotically responded still somewhat distracted.

Sonny instinctually pulled Lisa a little closer into his side not liking the man in front of him one bit. “Is there anything else you need from us?” He directed the question towards Mark. Although he was hesitant to leave Morgan it was not his place or Lisa’s to get involved, and since social services would be involved then he hoped that they would be able to sort it all out.

“I have got everything I need. Thank you.” Mark answered knowing that their presence had been incredibly helpful with keeping Morgan calm and comforted as well as extracting information out of her that was helpful to locating her parents as they had not updated their address.

Lisa knelt down in front of Morgan. “Sonny and I have to go now honey.” She kept her voice soft hoping that Morgan would not get upset.

Morgan looked back at her parents with a sparing glance before she turned back to Lisa then lunged forward wrapping her small arms around her neck and hugging her. As quickly as Morgan had lunged towards Lisa she pulled away from her after a sharp domineering reprimand from her Dad.

Sonny held his hand out to Lisa which she accepted as she stood up from the ground, and with one last look at the family the pair left the police station both deep in their own thoughts even though it was something they could not be involved in.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa smiled softly as she leant against the doorframe seeing that Sonny was already in her bed all ready for their afternoon nap with nothing more than his boxers on as the blankets were barely covering his thighs. They had both been incredibly quiet on the way home from the police station, both knowing that something was not right with Morgan’s parents but knowing that it was not their place to intervene. How the day had started off so good and then kind of veered off into something sad and demeaning was beyond Lisa right now.

Sonny grinned broadly as he sensed Lisa was close and turned his eyes towards her seeing she had stripped off her jeans so that she was left in nothing more than a white transparent thin strapped singlet top and a pair of red lace boy-leg panties as she leant up against the door frame to her bedroom looking every bit like the goddess that she was to him. He knew she was worried, felt his own that he knew matched hers, but he knew like she did that they had done what they could and the proper authorities were involved now so hopefully things would get sorted. “You joining me? I do believe we had a nap on our agenda.” He lifted and held his hand out for her beckoning her to come and join him.

Lisa smiled and pushed herself off of the doorframe, crossed the short distance to the bed, and crawled in until she was laid on her side up against Sonny with her head on his shoulder and her hand splayed across his bare chest. Sonny wrapped his arm around her with his hand resting around her waist while his other hand clasped the one against his chest.

“You were amazing today.” Sonny broke the silence even though his voice was barely above a whisper in awe of her and her maternal instincts. Lisa huffed softly, the warm breath hitting his skin, as she curled tighter into him as she draped her leg across his. “You were.”

“Then why do I feel like I sent that little girl back to her own form of hell?” Lisa whispered feeling her eyes begin to well with tears that she willed away as she did not want them to cascade down.

Sonny’s hands tightened around Lisa. “We don’t know anything Lisa, and besides that the police officer and social services will sort it out.” He had to have faith in the floored system that was social services for Lisa’s sake as well as his own although he could understand her apprehension as he had his own.

Lisa had nothing to say to that as she had her own experiences with social services years ago that left little hope and a lasting impression but Morgan did not seem afraid of her parents so there was that slightly settling point that helped to settle the worry that had set deep in her stomach. Either way they had done a good thing, and she was not about to let her worries ruin the rest of their day, not that their day had been ruined, but it had left them worried. “I love you Sonny Quinn.” She whispered before she pressed a kiss to his chest right on top of his collarbone before she settled down imagining an alternative version of their life together where a miniature version of Sonny was snuggled up with them as they had an afternoon family nap. She was content to imagine for now knowing that she was not ready, that neither of them were ready, but hopefully they would be one day and that it would become a reality.


	5. Game Of Fetch

**_ Game Of Fetch- Brock Reynolds _ **

The sun was high in the sky and the dirt was so dry that it had disintegrated into dust but that did not stop the ball from being tossed again and again for the hair missile to chase after it. Bravo had been deployed to Cambodia yet were able to move freely which is how Bravo found themselves enjoying a morning out as they had free time, and how they found themselves sitting at a table in the shade with the exception of Brock and Cerb who were entertaining the village children of Kampong Cham, or rather Cerb was playing fetch while Brock supervised and encouraged the children despite the language barrier between them. The children would toss the ball and try to beat Cerb to it but the Malinois was to fast although Cerb was smart enough to let them win a few rounds of racing.

“Who is going to get bored first?” Jason asked as he nodded towards Cerb and the kids who were racing for the ball once more.

“Kids will get tired before Cerb does.” Trent stated knowing the endless energy that their four legged teammate had even despite the heat. “The booties are good for Cerb.” Trent made a special mention knowing that the pair that Cerb was wearing was a set that Clay had picked up and added to the seemingly ever growing collection a few months back after Cerb had gotten the pads of his paws burnt on some tarmac on an unseasonally hot day when they were on a mission in Spain. There was something special about them like all of the other ones but what it was Trent could not recall exactly.

Clay looked over at Cerb who was running around freely on the hot dirt. “They have a special cooling gel pad in the bottom of them designed to keep his paws cool.”

Eric had joined them and he could not keep the smile off of his face or keep himself from snapping a few secret photos of the scene taking place in front of him while he listened to the rest of the men talk. He knew that the guys mainly gave Clay crap about all of the little items that he bought for Cerb but they helped not only the hair missile but Brock as well although he did have to wonder where the hell Clay found some of the things he did, and he was sure that Cerb had more sets of booties than all of the men of Bravo had collectively of shoes. Eric watched as Brock smiled broadly as he bent down, righted one of the young children up onto her feet as she had fallen, took a second to dust her hands off before he let her run back into the fray. “He’s damn good with kids.” That comment had everyone turning to look at him before their eyes shifted from Brock to Cerb and back again as they were not quite sure who he was referring to.

“Brock or Cerb?” Sonny asked as he wiggled the toothpick that was in his mouth with his tongue as he adjusted his cap.

“Both of them actually but I was referring to Brock.” Eric answered without pause as he turned his gaze back to Brock just in time to see him kneel down next to one of the littler children once he had instructed a heavily panting Cerb to stay still before he coached the boy on how to throw the ball. None of them missed the wide smile that tugged at his lips and made the skin around Brock’s eyes crinkle as he praised the small boy’s effort as Cerb bought the ball back ready for it to be thrown again as he dropped it at their feet.

“Yeah he is.” Ray was in total agreement with Eric as he had watched the quietest member of their team interact with his children and Jason’s many times before when he thought they were not watching, and while he did not need to talk excessively he knew that the kids loved him and he loved them.

Mandy and Lisa returned to the table that the team had taken over with cold, refreshing and freshly made smoothies for everyone although they had been very fastidious over the preparation process knowing they had to be in an effort to avoid having the smoothies loaded with extra sugar or even an egg which was sometimes a common practise for some vendors to do. The two women caught the tail of the conversation and both of them shared a look with each other as they handed out the smoothies wondering if they should ask or if it was best to leave it.

Sonny held up the pink concoction and squinted at it dubiously. “What in the hell is this? It’s pink!” He eyed it wearily unsure what was in it before he looked at Clay’s. “Wait, why is Clay’s that colour?” It was a very bright orange but Clay was already sucking it down greedily.

Lisa sighed as the others chuckled at Sonny’s theatrics as she picked up her own smoothie which was green as it had coconut water, a couple of dates, a handful of leafy greens, some banana and some berries in it making it a bright green colour. “It’s strawberry Sonny, and Clay’s is carrot and mango. It’s just what you asked for.”

Mandy shook her head as she picked up her own mango smoothie before grabbing Brock’s knowing he had gotten the same as her. “Going to take this over to Brock.” She said as she walked away from the table leaving Lisa to deal with Sonny who had requested the flavour after being denied the chance to sample the local alcohol by Eric and Jason as they had pointed out to him that it was the morning and that they had an afternoon of AAR’s to go through ahead of them.

Mandy smiled softly as she approached Brock seeing as he turned towards her as one of the older kids threw the ball as far as he could past several buildings sending them all scattering away from them. “One mango smoothie.” She held it out for him to take seeing that his cheeks were flushed from the heat and the sun that he was standing in.

“Thanks Mandy.” Brock smiled as he took the smoothie from her and took a big sip of it enjoying the icy coldness of it as he was parched as he had given Cerb the last of his water before he looked back towards the kids as he heard Cerb bark but there was nothing to worry about. It was just that Cerb did not like to be endlessly teased during a game of fetch which Brock could understand as he had never found it fair to tease a dog either.

Mandy reached out and placed her hand on Brock’s shoulder as she watched as Cerb jumped, twisted and caught the ball before landing back down on the ground with a dust cloud forming around him. “Think you and the fur ball should come and sit in the shade for a few minutes, cool down and have a break.” She suggested softly as the sun was sweltering and making them all sweaty and that was without running around and entertaining a bunch of local village children but she could see how happy he was and she did not want him to stop being happy.

Brock turned back to Mandy after he made sure that Cerb had released the ball so that it could be thrown once again. “Give them a few more minutes then we will be over to join you.” Brock did not want to ruin the children’s fun knowing that it was not often that they got to play uninhibited, and it was good for Cerb to play and burn off some of the excess and unsettled energy that he seemed to have lately.

Mandy smiled and shook her head knowing that it would not be a few minutes but she was not about to call him out on it, not when they were enjoying a peaceful morning. “Alright, you know where we will be.” She let her hand slip from his shoulder softly before she moved back towards the table although she spared him one more glance over her shoulder.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock laughed lightly and knew that he would have to bathe Cerb once they got back to their temporary base as the dog rolled around on his back in the dust wriggling his entire body as he was surrounded by the children who were patting almost every part of him. Admittedly he was covered in dusty dirt himself as he had found himself sitting down on the ground in it as the children tired far faster than Cerb did.

It always amazed Brock at the power that animals had to breach the divide that was in place sometimes between humans, and that was partly what made his bond with Cerb so special because he sometimes felt that divide when he had nothing to say. Brock had always loved animals, had grown up with them, but he had never thought he would get to be a SEAL and a canine handler until he had been partnered up with Cerb who had been a tiny puppy the first time they had been introduced to each other, and acted like every Malinois puppy – a maligator with sharp teeth that liked to bite and chew and snap his little jaw together.

Brock shifted his attention to the children knowing that Cambodia was going through a humanitarian crisis but by looking at them it was not obvious as they looked well looked after and they were lively not anything like some of the worst sights he had seen of suffering children before them. He shook his head as he glanced back at his team, at his family, before he returned his attention to Cerb who had managed to free himself of all the petting hands so that he was stood right in front of him and able to lick him on the cheek. “Good boy.” Brock said as Cerb jumped forward onto him knocking him backward then lying down on top of him as he laughed and began patting Cerb feeling as his wagging tail hit his leg repetitively until a shadow cast over him and he looked up to see that Jason was standing over him, looking down on them. “Hey boss.” He smiled as he tilted his head to the side avoiding another lick to his face from Cerb.

Jason really hated to break up the fun as it was nice to see Brock enjoying himself while spreading a little joy with Cerb’s help to the local children. It was one of the better but rarer parts of the job when they got to give back in small ways. “We have got to get back brother. We will have enough time to get cleaned up and grab some lunch before we have to sit and go over our reports.” Jason still could not understand why the Brass had determined that they needed to go over the after action reports while they were deployed but Jason had been in the Navy long enough to know that sometimes it was better not to ask and instead simply follow through with such a request.

Brock nodded as his smile dimmed a little bit but it looked like Cerb was ready to have a cold shower as it would be easier to have him join him in the shower seeing as they would not have a lot of time before they had to report to the meeting as he was heavily panting and tiredly resting against him. “Okay boss.” Brock commanded Cerb off of him and waited before he pushed himself up off the ground knowing that they had to walk back but that it was not far.

Jason did not miss the wave that Brock gave the children once he had clipped Cerb back onto his leash nor did he miss the disappointed looks and pouts that were thrown their way as Cerb picked up the ball and held it in his mouth to carry back to base. “Come on.” Jason felt like he needed to get Brock moving as it looked like he was not quite ready to go while the others waited in the shade for them.

They made it a few feet away before Brock looked back over his shoulder seeing that the children were slowly beginning to disperse now that there was no dog to play with. Brock smiled wistfully and with a tinge of regret that there was nothing more that they could do. Brock twisted back around as he felt as a hand came down to rest on his shoulder seeing Trent stood in front of him with his eyes silent appraising him.

Trent had been keeping a close eye on Brock the entire time he spent out in the hot sun knowing that the heat could get to him quickly and dehydrate him if he was not careful, it could get to them all really but he and Cerb were the only ones out in the direct sun. “Drink up brother.” Trent held out a bottle of water in his hand to Brock wanting him to drink it as he had seen him give two thirds of his original bottle to Cerb and the only other thing he had to drink was the mango smoothie. He made a mental note of the flushed skin and hoped that some fluids, a lukewarm shower, and some time spent sitting still in the shade would help to cool him down and get rid of most of the flush from his skin.

“Thanks.” Brock answered as he took the bottle and twisted off the cap seeing that Clay was already letting Cerb drink from his own bottle and somehow Clay had ended up with the slobber and dirt covered ball in his hand but it did not seem like he minded.

Eric clapped his hands. “Let’s get moving, get out of this goddamn heat.” Eric had loved the peaceful and easy going morning but he was more than ready to be out of the damned humid heat.

“Wouldn’t be feeling the heat if we had be allowed to sample the local alcohol.” Sonny grumbled with a pout that only he could pull off.

Jason smiled and shook his head as he shared a look with Ray before he stepped forward and put his hands on Sonny’s shoulders. “We get through these AAR reviews then we spend the night sampling some of the local brew from the safety of base; I’m sure that can be arranged.” Jason had the good sense to spare a glance at Eric and Lisa who were both watching fascinated, and trying to withhold their own laughter at Sonny’s sulking.

“Yeah?” Sonny twisted around to look over his shoulder at Jason with what could only be described as sheer delight and something akin to hope.

Lisa laughed and looked at Eric who gave her permission with a single solemn nod. “I will see what I can rustle up.” She said knowing that it would not be hard as it was freely available, the only thing she had to be careful about was the process in which it was made and stored.

“Come on.” Jason gave Sonny a gentle shove to get him moving knowing that between him, Lisa and Eric that they had just made the ornery Texan a little easier to deal with for the rest of the day. It was amazing what the promise of being able to sample some of the local alcohol even though it would be confined to base did to Sonny.

Clay took Cerb’s leash from Brock and fell into step beside Sonny with Cerb somehow ending up in the middle of them, with Jason, Ray and Trent falling into line behind them, then it was Eric and Lisa who were discussing the afternoon’s plans and what they had to get through.

Mandy stayed back with Brock seeing him turn around to see the last of the village children disappear back into the shadows which would have been alarming if not for having watched them play so carefree only minutes earlier. She glanced at the rest of the team seeing that they were gaining some distance away from her and Brock before she looked back at him. “You okay?’ She asked softly making sure that her voice did not carry.

Brock turned back to Mandy seeing that she had stayed while the others had already begun to walk back, and he had not even realised. “Yeah. We better get moving.” He held his arm out to Mandy comfortable to walk beside her knowing that she would often wrap her hand around his elbow if they walked together, and he found it comforting.

Mandy smiled as she wrapped her hands around his elbow not missing the heat that was radiating off of his bare skin before they began walking slowly not making an effort to hurry or catch up with everyone else. Mandy remained silent waiting for Brock to talk although she doubted if he would as he seemed to be miles away and acting purely on instinct alone until she could not take the silence anymore. “What is rattling around in that head of yours?” She asked finally.

Brock turned his face towards her seeing the genuine concern that was clouding her expression and he hated that she was worrying about him. “Just thinking about animals and humans.” From anyone else it would have sounded mundane but Mandy knew Brock well enough to know that there was more to it than how simple he had put it.

“What about them?” She asked wondering how far she could push without making him shut down. She also knew they had at least another ten minutes before they reached their temporary accommodations.

Brock shrugged his shoulder and took another mouthful of water from the bottle that he had in his hand. “Just how animals are able to breach the gap that humans put in place; I mean look at Cerb with those kids.”

Mandy smiled knowing that Brock would have thought a lot about it. “I think you are forgetting one thing though.” She waited for the questioning look to be levelled her way before she continued. “Cerb was not the only one that was responsible for getting those kids to be free and have fun. You were a big part of that Brock, the kindness that you showed and how you interacted with each and every one of them helped bridge that gap that you are talking about.” She would not let him forget about his role in it because he did have a role, a big one, because without him Cerb would not be the dog he was either nor would those younger children have learned how to safely approach a dog or throw a ball for him.

Brock turned his face away from her and bowed his head from Mandy before he looked back at her as he considered her words. “I guess but there is something special about the way that animals can read people, know when they need to be comforted, and when they need to be left alone.”

Mandy understood what Brock was saying as she had seen the exact thing many times over, had seen the way Cerb picked up on the energy and reacted to it from each individual. She had watched Cerb drape himself over them at times, or stay close but not touching, or drag one of them by the pant leg out to play or join the rest of the group. Hell Cerb had even once stolen a file right out of her hands and ran off with it on a flight home, and while she was sure that Brock had taught him it she could not prove it but she had tried however it had been good at the time as she was obsessing over it. She squeezed his arm lightly as she shifted her eyes to Cerb seeing that his tail was wagging as Clay scratched the base of his ears as they continued walking before she looked back at Brock who was looking at her with an unreadable expression. “What? What is it?” She asked softly as she moved one of her hands down his arm letting her fingers dance softly over the skin until she reached his wrist where she stopped and re-wrapped her hand around his wrist letting her thumb smooth over the bone.

“Nothing.” Brock whispered as he shook his head realising just how comfortable he was with her, that he did not need to speak for her to understand, and he was glad for the friendship they had. He could not help but look over his shoulder once again at the village that was behind them and fading from their view.

Mandy said nothing more knowing that whatever was going on in Brock’s head would rattle around for a while before he would shake it off and go back to his usual quietness. They walked in silence the rest of the way only separating once they got back to base as she was not required to attend the AAR meeting.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock stood under the cold water letting it run over his curls and down his back as he pressed his forehead against the wall with his eyes closed taking a few moments for himself as he had already rinsed and washed Cerb off before sending him out as he would dry quickly in the humidity and if not then he knew one of his brothers, or Lisa or Mandy, would find a towel and scrub him down, either way Cerb would be taken care of as he would have found his way to them. Brock let out a soft sigh that was drowned out by the sound of the water flowing down around him suddenly feeling very tired like what little energy he had left was suddenly down the drain along with the water. He turned off the water and ran his hand through his drenched curls brushing out the excess water before he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his hips making sure it was tucked tightly to him.

Brock went through the motions of drying himself off then getting dressed before he stepped out of the bathroom and stopped as Trent was stood clearly waiting for him. Brock stopped and looked up at Trent wishing he could avoid him for a bit longer but he had already taken a long shower. “I’m okay Trent.” Brock took the bottle of water that Trent held out to him pre-empting the question that he was sure he would ask.

Trent nodded slowly as he continued to look at Brock. “Cerb found his way over to TOC, everyone is there already. Clay had dried him off and was brushing him when I left.” Brock nodded wearily staying silent as he knew there was something else that Trent wanted to say or ask, which one he was not sure. “You want to tell me what is going on with you?” The ‘and Mandy’ died on his lips as Trent had seen the way the pair had walked back together.

“Nothing Trent. I am already late, last thing I need is to delay Sonny’s drinking time otherwise I will never hear the end of it.” Brock misdirected although he really did not want to have to listen to Sonny complain about the delay to his evening of drinking as he avoided Trent’s gaze as well as his question. With that Brock stepped around Trent, dropping his towel and shower kit on his bed before he continued over to TOC knowing he had missed lunch but not caring as he was not particularly hungry as he had taken some time before he had gotten in the shower. Trent sighed and scrubbed at his forehead as he turned to watch as he walked away before he followed after him knowing that he would be keeping an eye on him for a while.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The hot humid air had given way to a cool night that required a fire to keep the chill off of their skin and a long sleeved layer although it was comfortable. The afternoon had dragged on with the long and arduous task of reviewing AAR’s taking far longer than any of them would have liked but they had finally managed to get through them.

Jason looked around at his family as he took a sip from the beer bottle that Lisa had procured them. Ray and Lisa were sat talking quietly with each other with Ray sharing some story about the kids that Naima had told him when he had skyped home. Sonny was animatedly telling some story that Trent was half listening to although his eyes kept flickering to Brock. Clay had Cerb in his lap, the Malinois thoroughly worn out from his morning chasing the ball with all the kids, stroking him thoroughly as he watched the flames of the fire flicker. Mandy and Eric were engaged in a conversation across from him but Jason caught the glimpses that Mandy was stealing as she kept looking at Brock. And Brock, well he was sitting with a bottle of water in his hand having opted not to taste the local brew with his head tilted back as he looked up at the night sky seemingly oblivious to the world around him.

Jason narrowed his eyes and subconsciously tightened his grip on the bottle in his hand as he thought back on the afternoon. Brock had been more subdued than usual and that was saying something given how quiet he usually was but what had Jason worried was the worried glances that were being directed at him by Trent and Mandy, and the way Cerb had remained firmly with Clay. He had looked happy this morning but now he just looked morose which was not something that Jason was used to seeing on him.

Jason stayed still for a few minutes before he stood up and shifted over next to Brock taking notice of how he did not even register him sitting next to him. He waited a few moments before he let his knee knock against Brock’s hating how he seemed to startle. “You looked to be deep in thought there brother.” Jason stated making sure that he kept his voice quiet although he could feel everyone’s eyes on them as they subtly glanced over from time to time somehow having co-ordinated themselves so that they did not look over at the same time.

“Yeah…” Brock answered quietly, his voice hoarse, before he cleared his throat as he continued to look up at the night sky seeing the few stars that were barely visible in amongst the clouds.

Jason was not expecting the softly spoken admission from Brock nor was he usually the one that Brock spoke to but lately there had been a shift in who his confidant was which had not gone unnoticed as it had shifted from Trent to Mandy, and had been bought to Jason’s attention by both Ray and Eric on two separate occasions although he had not taken much notice of it until now. “Anything you want to talk about Brock?” He asked.

“Mmmm… I’m fine boss, just tired.” Brock answered as he pushed himself forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he thought that maybe it was time to put himself to bed although he was sceptical about whether he would actually get to sleep or not with all that was rattling around in his head as he kept replaying the scene from this morning in his mind thinking about the little faces who looked happy despite all that they faced in the world. “Going to go and rack out for the night.” With that he pushed himself up and onto his feet taking a few seconds to gain his balance before he meandered away.

Jason knew that he was not the only one watching Brock walk away from them and he was not the only one worried that Brock had not whistled for Cerb to join him as the silence settled over them with the exception of the crackling from the fire that seemed to echo around them. “Anyone got any insight into what’s going on there?” He asked although he knew they would all be keeping a close eye on Brock even though they knew he hated it.

“Our mighty mouse is living up to his name right now.” Sonny drawled as he waved his beer bottle loosely in the direction that Brock had headed off in drawing several smirks as the levity eased some of the tension.

Jason looked around the fire again before deciding to leave it hoping that a good night’s sleep would help settle Brock, and if it did not then they would figure it out in the morning. For now they would finish their beers and stay by the fire for a little longer before they called it a night.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock had laid on his side with his back to the door for hours, had heard his brothers come in to rack out for the remainder of the night knowing that they had cast their eyes over him as he had felt the looks, but sleep would still not come to him even as his brothers snored around him. Eventually around 3 o’clock Brock gave up on the idea of sleeping as he pushed back the blanket and climbed out of his bed, pulling a hoodie on over his bare chest as he slipped his feet into his boots and left their hooch. He scrubbed his hands over his burning eyes as he made his way across the camp finding himself knocking on the door softly, one that he knew better than to knock on but he could not stop himself even as he took a couple of steps back.

Brock looked up as the door opened and found himself relieved as it was opened wider allowing him to shuffle inside before it was closed again. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep.” He offered in way of an explanation once he was inside.

“It’s okay.” Mandy offered as she made sure the door was locked, silently grateful that she had a room to herself, before she let her eyes look over Brock in the soft light that the desk lamp provided as he lowered himself down onto the floor with his back against her bed and his knees raised up towards his chest. “You haven’t slept.” It was not a question or an accusation but simply a statement as she moved towards her bed, climbing on it and lying down on her side with her hand rested on his shoulder, not caring in the slightest that she was only wearing her pyjamas which consisted of a black tank top and a pair of light purple sleep shorts that barely covered her. She was slightly surprised that Cerb was not with him but she was not going to mention it as she kind of figured that Cerb had bedded down with one of the other guys having sensed that Brock wanted to be alone from what she had seen earlier in the evening.

Brock closed his eyelids and tipped his head back until it was resting against Mandy’s stomach as her fingers gently kneaded his shoulder taking comfort in the knowledge that he did not have to try and figure anything out on his own. “It got to me today Mandy.” He breathed out heavily as if the weight of the world was on him.

“I know it did.” Mandy softened her voice as she let his fingers move from his shoulder to his neck nimbly moving over the skin in a repetitive motion.

“I don’t know why.” He was quick to tell her wanting her to know that he did not know as he raised his hand up and scrubbed at his beard.

Mandy’s fingers paused in their movements at his admission as she did not think she had ever heard Brock sound so unsure of himself before but the pause only lasted a few seconds before she realised she had stopped and she began the movements again knowing it relaxed him. “Kids get to every one of us Brock, every single time whether we realise it or not.” It was the most truth filled statement she had ever spoken because kids always got to them. They made any job harder especially for the men who were parents but even those who did not still found it hard.

Brock pursed his lips and Mandy waited knowing that he was trying to figure out what he wanted to say or how he wanted to go about things. “Do you know how they match dogs with handlers?” He asked suddenly and he missed the frown that flashed on her face as his eyelids were still closed.

Mandy wanted to move so that Brock was facing her but she did not want to disturb him, not when he was talking. “No, no I don’t.” She shook her head as she truly did not know.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Brock’s lips for half a second before he took a deep breath in then let it out as he focused on the way Mandy’s soft and warm fingertips danced gently over his skin like they were made to be there. “They let the dogs approach the handlers, see who has the connection.”

“Yeah?” Mandy asked as she could imagine how interesting that approach could get.

“Yeah.” Brock agreed with a soft hum escaping from his throat. “I wasn’t in a good place when the day came that I was to be matched.” He paused and swallowed thickly which Mandy took note of but made no effort to interrupt him. “I had gotten some news from home the night before, and I should have postponed the matching but I didn’t. I guess I wanted to pretend that it was not happening, that I could ignore it all.” Mandy stayed quiet knowing he had more to say but that it sometimes took him a while to get the words out but she could feel the angst that had begun radiating off of him. “My Mom had called and she was yelling at me about how I was not the son she raised, she was asking me how I could run from my responsibilities, and I had no idea what she was talking about. I finally managed to get her to put my Dad on the phone and he explained that the girl I used to date in high school, Tara, had turned back up with a little four year old named Beth. Both Mom and Dad had automatically assumed that I was the father and that I had run; they didn’t know all of the facts.”

“Brock?” Mandy was shocked by what she was hearing and she felt like she was missing huge parts of the story like his parent’s had.

“I don’t have any secret children Mandy.” Brock was firm in that statement. “For a minute though when Mom and Dad told me I kind of felt like I could be, I did the maths in my head but we broke up because she met someone else. The thought of having a little girl that I had no idea about and having missed so much of her life messed me up. I booked myself on the first flight home that afternoon after clearing it.” He was skipping all over the place which did not make it easy to follow. “I went to the matching, was more distracted than I should have been, and I stepped into the large run where all of the available dogs were. Cerb walked straight over to me, sat down and nudged his head repeatedly against my leg until I sat down so he could crawl into my lap and scratch his ears. That was the first time since I had answered the phone to my Mom yelling that I found something akin to peace. Cerb was able to bridge that gap as I closed myself off from the world around me.”

“What aren’t you saying Brock?” Mandy pressed knowing it was the right time to do so.

Brock sometimes hated how insightful Mandy was but he also enjoyed that about her. “I took Cerb home with me so we could bond before we had to start operational training. I went in search of Tara and she was not hard to find given that she was holed up at her parent’s place. By the time I landed it was late and when she opened the door I knew why she had come home. She had hand shaped bruises to her wrists and she tried to cover them up but I had seen them. She had gotten married to the guy she left me for, Beth was his but her little eyes were so full of sadness, so devoid of light, god it broke my heart. We even got a paternity test just to prove it to my parents as they were convinced that Beth was mine; they wanted so desperately to have grandchildren that they were not going to listen to me or Tara. I think it was their way of hoping that if I did not come home then at least they would have a piece of me in the form of a grandchild.”

Mandy could sense the sadness that was in Brock’s voice that he was trying to keep at bay despite the happiness that he had displayed several hours ago as he supervised and coached the intense game of fetch in the village. “You saw Beth in one or more of those kids today, didn’t you?” She asked as she pressed herself closer to him letting her fingers continue their movements especially when she felt him tense against her.

“Thousands of miles away and I go right back to all those years ago, to that tiny little innocent girl who had never known what it was to be loved or how her and her Mama should have been treated. She smiled but the sadness always lingered, it was like it had stained and marked her so irrevocably that it would never fade away” Brock paused as he rolled his head to the side and opened his eyelids so that he was looking at Mandy. “I spent three days at home, spent a lot of time with Tara and Beth, and even more time with Cerb who would not leave my side at all. I haven’t thought about that in a lot of years Mandy but now I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop seeing Beth’s eyes again. You are right, I did see her in one of those kids today.” His voice shook at the last sentence as he finally figured out why he felt the way he did and what had bought back all of the memories that he had pushed away from those three days at home all of those years ago.

Mandy knew that there was nothing that she could say that would make Brock feel better but at least she hoped by having him talk and share with her that he would be able to get some sleep. “Come up here, lay down.” She made sure to support his head as she untangled herself from him and shuffled over until her back was up against the wall as she made as much space as she could in the single bed. It was a risk but Brock needed to sleep and he needed the comfort so it was one she was willing to take.

“I’m not sure that is a good idea.” Brock desperately wanted to sleep but he did not have the energy to go back to his own bed nor did he want to be questioned as to where he had been if anyone was to wake up. He knew that nothing would happen between him and Mandy but he did not want to compromise her or himself, but he felt safe and comfortable with her which is why he had not tried to pull away

Mandy understood where he was coming from, she did but she also wanted him to be okay. “You need to sleep or at least rest. I will wake you up in a few hours so you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. All you have to say is you got up to take a walk before the heat set in for the day. Now come on you can’t sleep on the floor otherwise you will be sore.” She patted the empty space on the bed.

Brock hummed softly for a few seconds with indecision before he made his mind up as he leaned forward just enough to pull his hoodie off before he managed to kick his boots off that were still unlaced and then he crawled up into the bed, lying down on his side so that he was facing Mandy before he closed his eyes. “Thank you.” He murmured with a slight slur as he leant his forehead against hers as he felt her cover him with a light blanket.

“Sleep Brock.” Mandy might not be getting any sleep the rest of the night but she wanted to make sure that Brock did. “You were amazing today, don’t ever doubt your ability. You reach out each and every time Brock.” She whispered earning a sleepy mumbled response that she could not quite make out but she could already see that the tension had eased and bleed out from his body. The man beside her was made up of many intricate and shadowed pieces that were revealed in some of the most beautiful yet broken ways that she could ever imagine.


	6. Forced To Grow Up

**_ Forced To Grow Up – Ray Perry _ **

Emma sat at the very same intersection that her mother died, sat in the exact same place that her father had in the days following the accident with the only difference being was that she was not counting the cars that went through the intersection. She was watching but unseeing. She inhaled deeply feeling as her lungs expanded until they were full before she slowly let the air out as she tried to get a handle on the emotions that were coursing through her. She knew she was in the wrong, knew the moment she went too far when her Dad dropped the façade he had so carefully constructed momentarily but it was enough for her to see the hurt she had caused him inadvertently, she had not meant to but everything had spiralled, she was spiralling and she had no idea how to fix any of it so instead she had taken it out on him. She let out a stuttered breath wishing she had walked away before she had exploded, wishing that her Dad had not pushed her buttons to get her to open up to him, and wishing that she could erase the memory of what she had said but she knew she couldn’t and she knew she had to apologise but she could just not bare to move off of the wall as she stared out over the intersection wondering what her Mom’s final moments were like.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The frantic call from Jason had set Ray and Naima on edge and although the details were light on what had happened all that Ray knew was that they had fought and that Emma had left, disappeared was the word Jason used, as he admitted he let her go so she could cool off but it had been hours and she still had not returned nor had she answered any calls or texts. Naima had stayed with Jameelah and RJ after Ray had promised to find and bring Emma home but that was no easy task especially when no one had seen her, none of her friends or her extended adopted family had seen or heard from her, and he was running out of places to look knowing that it would only be thirty minutes at most before the sun had finished setting.

Ray had no idea what had propelled him towards the intersection but Emma was very much like Jason, and the feeling of relief that surged through him was unexplainable as he pulled into the parking lot, turned off the car and climbed out making sure to send a quick text to Jason and Naima that he had found her although he kept details light and did not commit to setting a time to have her home. He stayed still for a few moments wondering if she would turn and look towards him having felt his gaze on her but when she did not avert her eyes he moved towards her. The wistful yet heartbroken look on her face made him swallow hard as he had never seen her look so devastated, not even when Alana had died, and she had been truly devastated then. The other thing that struck Ray was how similar she and Jason were.

Ray lifted himself up onto the wall so that he was sat right next to Emma who gave the tiniest flicker of acknowledgement as she briefly glanced at him before she turned her eyes back to the intersection. “You want to tell me what happened?” He asked keeping his voice soft hoping that it would propel her to talk. Instead all he got was silence. “I found your Dad here once just after Alana died, he had been sat here for hours watching the cars go by endlessly. It was making him spin out.” It was a different approach and he silently hoped that he was not making things worse.

“I know.” Emma whispered although he could still hear the hoarseness in her words as she choked back a sob trying her damnedest to focus on the ever changing traffic lights.

Ray was slightly surprised by Emma’s admission that she knew that Jason had spent time sitting on the very same wall after Alana’s death, and it kind of caught him off guard. “You want to tell me what bought you here today kiddo?”

A sob tore loose from Emma’s lips, one that she just could not contain, as her eyes filled with tears and they spilled down her cheeks silently. “I haven’t been called kiddo in a long time.” There was a humourless laugh that came out at the end of her sentence but Ray could hear the sadness in that.

“You were forced to grow up way to soon Emma. It has not been fair, is not fair.” Ray knew how hard she tried to be the person that Mikey needed, that Jason needed, that everyone else needed all without overstepping boundaries but in amongst all of that effort they all had forgotten that she was just a kid herself trying to find her own way in the world. The responsibilities placed on her shoulders due to Alana’s death were monumental and not ones that she should have had.

Emma’s shoulders dropped and she hunched forward as she continued to watch as the lights changed from green to orange to red all within the course of a few seconds. A few seconds was all it took for her entire life to change, a few seconds of idiocy and her whole world was turned upside down, and there was nothing that could be changed by that. “Is Dad okay?” She asked softly knowing he would have been the one to call Ray to go in search of her, or more likely he had called to see if Naima could watch Mikey while he searched for her but Ray would have been the voice of reason telling him to stay with Mikey while he offered to go out in search of her,

“He’s fine, worried about you, but fine.” Ray was as honest as he could be as he still did not have all of the facts.

Emma huffed. “That’s the problem, he is always fine.” There was a spark of resentment that came out of nowhere but as quickly as it ignited it went out. “I told him I hated him. That I wished it had been him instead of Mom because she would know how to do everything.” The words were still just as bitter tasting as when she had first shouted them at him. “I don’t think I have ever seen him so hurt, not by me. I mean I have seen him hurt but I have never been the one to cause it.” She rushed out as the guilt she felt surged within her. “I didn’t mean it, I don’t even know why I said it.” She whispered regretfully.

Ray blinked a few times as he looked at Emma feeling the weight of her words even though they had not been aimed at him.

“We were fighting.” Emma offered another glimpse into what had happened to cause her to lash out. “Mikey is being a picky eater lately and Dad lets him away with it not realising how hard it makes everything when he is with you guys on a mission or a deployment for me with Mikey.” She closed her eyes and exhaled harshly before she opened her eyes and looked at him. “I needed him to support me on this, I needed him to tell Mikey that he needed to eat the dinner that I had worked so hard on making in between everything else that I had going on today. Instead he said it did not matter and that Mikey could have whatever he wanted.”

Ray knew how hard it was to deal with a picky eater as Jameelah was going through the same phase as Mikey apparently, and he knew that he and Naima had agreed on having a united front that she was to eat what everyone else ate, that they would not pander to her demands or reinforce her tantrums when she did not get her way. The difference was Mikey was a lot older and would easily be smart mouthed enough to throw it in Emma’s face that Jason had not made him eat the meal she had made so he did not have too. Yeah, Ray could understand the point that she was making. “And it spiralled from there, didn’t it?” He already knew the answer but wanted confirmation as it sounded like there were wrong doings from both sides.

Emma gave him a shaky nod as she refused to let another sob break loose from her throat as she swallowed thickly trying to get a handle of her avalanche of emotions that seemed to want to assault her endlessly for the moment. “It is like everything just became so overwhelming from the day Mom died, and I lost control. I don’t really know how it came to all of this. It feels like everything is going wrong.” She sniffled and pressed her sleeve covered hand to her mouth as soon as she was finished speaking as she had not meant to verbalise that.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ray suspected the answer already but she was talking and he wanted her to continue as it seemed like she needed it.

Emma watched as the traffic lights went through another sequence as she tried to work out how to articulate herself but it seemed pointless as she just could not find the right way to answer his question without making a mess of it so she stopped trying and decided to let the words tumble messily from her lips as she dropped her sleeve covered hand back down into her lap. “I didn’t want him to lose another part of himself, did not want him to become a shell like he had. I didn’t realise I was losing myself though, it just happened so gradually that I did not see it until now. I wanted to be there for him and Mikey, be the strong one, be the woman that Mom, that they, raised me to be but it’s just so hard every single day.” She paused and moved her hand to wipe at the tears that were once again sliding down her cheeks freely. “I do not want him to be disappointed in me. I do not want him to worry. I do not want him to have any more regrets than he already does, he lives with enough of those – he lives with enough regrets and ghosts.”

Ray swallowed thickly at Emma’s last words ‘regrets and ghosts’ hating how accurately she had described what Jason lived with, what they all lived with. “Emma, kiddo, you have never once disappointed him and you never will. Believe me Emma, he is so proud of you.” He paused giving her a few moments for it to sink in before he continued. “He is always going to worry and as much as I hate to say it but that is something you are going to have to live with. One day you will understand that part a lot more than you do now. As parent’s it is our job to worry about our children and it does not matter if you are newly born into the world or old and grey, we are always going to worry; its kind of in the part of the parent code that you never think will happen to you even though everyone tells you that you will. Trust me kiddo, you are always going to be his little girl that he has to take care of, that is never ever going to change.” He wanted to make sure she listened to him. “You don’t have to be everything to everyone Emma, trust me that is the quickest way to burn yourself out.” It was important she knew that, that she understood that.

Emma shook her head as she sniffled once again fighting the tears that kept falling despite how much she willed them to stop. “I was always Dad’s, and Mikey was always Mom’s.” That fact weighed heavily on her mind a lot more than she wished to acknowledge and far to often. “Losing Dad was and is still a real possibility just as it always has been. Mom had contingencies in place for me because she knew it would break me but we didn’t have a contingency in place for Mikey losing her.” Emma didn’t mean to sound as if Mikey would not be devastated if Jason died but it would be a different sort of grief for her.

Ray wanted desperately to fix everything but it simply was not possible. “What contingencies did Alana have in place?” It was the only thing that Ray could think to say, to ask, as he silently wondered whether Naima had similar precautions and contingency plans in place.

Emma swiped at her face again catching the falling tears with her fingertips before she looked at Ray. “Stupid little things really, she kept things that she knew I would want, that I loved, that would be meaningless to anyone else, and she took lots of photos but not just of me and Dad and Mikey but everyone.” She was referring to the album that contained photographs with all of the extended family with her and Mikey. “But all Mikey got was photos and memories. It’s not like he can wear her jewellery or get away with wearing one of her sweaters because it makes him feel close to her and safe.” The unfairness was stark as were the differences as Emma occasionally found herself wearing one of her Dad’s old Philadelphia Eagles hoodies when he was out doing what he loved and she needed the familiar and safe comfort that it provided her.

Ray could understand what Emma was saying as the stark reality of just how much two kids had lost with the death of their mother really set in. “Come here Emma.” He said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. She did not resist as she leaned towards him and rested her head down on his shoulder as she continued to watch the last of the traffic with the last few moments of the sun. “You are doing real well Emma.” He murmured softly feeling as she wept softly as she kept wiping her face.

Emma wanted to tell Ray that it did not feel like it but she decided against it as she had already given him enough to worry about although she had to admit that it felt good to say it to someone who remained relatively impassive although she still had to face her Dad which she was not ready for but she knew she could not avoid.

Ray felt as Emma shivered against him realising that she wore nothing more than a light long sleeved top and a pair of jeans. “How about we get out of here? Go to the diner that I know you love and get something to eat before I take you home?” He wanted to get her out of the cold but figured that she was not ready to go home however he was not about to let her out of his sight.

Emma righted herself feeling as the cold night air wrapped around her bare skin especially once she was no longer against Ray. “I have to go home and face Dad sooner rather than later.” She was mature and hated feeling like she was tied to a lead weight as the guilt was still bubbling within her.

Ray smiled sadly wondering if he would ever see the carefree weightless Emma that he once knew but he knew he would not because everything had changed just like she had said it had. “Yeah you do but the fact that you realise that shows how much you want to make things better however you need to eat and maybe we can talk about what you want to say to him.” He assured her wanting to give her some more time even though he suspected that Jason was probably going out of his mind with worry despite getting the message that he had found her and that she was safe. “You can even get an ice cream sundae if you eat all your dinner.”

Emma laughed at Ray’s blatant attempt to bribe her but it felt good even as tears still worked their way down her cheeks. “Ice cream sundae, really? You are bribing me with ice cream” She asked smiling and watching as he coyly looked away realising what he had done.

“Come on you. It’s getting cold out here.” Ray jumped down from the bench before he turned back and held his hand out to Emma who gracefully accepted it and with his help got down from the wall before she allowed him to lead her to his car.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray shook his head as Emma smiled widely as the huge vanilla ice cream sundae with sliced strawberries and lashings of whipped cream, sprinkles and caramel sauce was placed down in front of her, after all she had eaten all of her burger and fries so he had to pay up on his bribe. She had been largely silent on the car ride over and all throughout the waiting and the meal but he could see that she was gearing up to say something as she got the same look that Jason did when he was getting ready to say something. The similarity in their mannerisms were uncanny but Ray knew better than to comment on that.

Emma picked up her spoon and scooped up a spoonful of the ice cream making sure to get a bit of all of the toppings on it before she placed it in her mouth. She was grateful that Ray had not pushed for her to talk but she could see he was getting impatient and struggling to contain himself. “It’s a fine line, you know, trying to be a guardian and a sister all at once, and then Dad comes home and I have to step back, let him be the parent. It’s hard to make the switch.” It was true because when her Dad was away it was her who was in charge of Mikey and making sure he was cared for but when her Dad was home than she got to drop some of the responsibilities just for a moment but it was hard to switch back and forth between the two roles without having them crossover.

Ray remained impassive as he thought over what Emma had said, and he quickly came to the conclusion that he could understand what she was saying. “Your Dad is an incredibly smart man but, and if you ever repeat this I will deny it, he can be incredibly dense and blind sometimes.”

Emma scoffed even as she smiled before she had another spoonful of her sundae. “Some would class it as stupid at times.” She knew it was coming from a place of love as Ray was one of her Dad’s oldest and most trusted friends and brothers which is why she took no offense to it.

Ray chuckled even as he shook his head. “He is kind of like a racehorse sometimes, gets a set of blinders on him, and can’t see what is right in front of him.” The analogy would probably come back to bite him but for the moment he did not care. Jason was a great leader, a brilliant tactical mind, but sometimes he could be dense to the things that were happening around and in front of him. And while he would never purposefully neglect his own family, he might not have been aware of all of the realities that his departure had each and every time, no matter the length of time. “He needs to be told Emma, needs to have it laid out to him in plain no nonsense terms. And he may not like it at first but he will think about it, let it settle, and figure something out.” He was encouraging her to be open and honest with Jason, to lay everything out, and work the problem for lack of a better term.

“I think that is what I am afraid of… of him figuring something out or rather what that will be.” Emma admitted quickly without a second thought before she dug her spoon into the scoop of ice cream and made sure she got a large spoonful with a lot of fresh strawberry pieces with it. She finished her mouthful and stabbed the spoon into the middle of the half eaten sundae momentarily. “I don’t want him to think he needs to change things.”

“Then what do you want? What do you want from him, from Mikey, and for yourself?” Ray asked quickly realising it might have sounded as though he was applying pressure for her to have all of the answers but it simply was not the case instead he wanted her to think about herself for once.

Emma looked down at the ice cream sundae suddenly thinking she needed a lot more ice cream to get through the conversation with Ray before she even tackled her Dad but she knew it would not help. The tricky thing was she did not know what she wanted, not really, not after the whirlwind that it had been. She twirled the spoon around in the ice cream mixing it all together, taking a spoonful here and there, as she tried to begin somewhere.

Ray rested back in the seat watching as Emma alternated between playing with her ice cream and taking small mouthfuls as she pondered his questions. God, sometimes she really was the spitting image of Jason, Ray thought but wisely kept to himself once more.

Emma glanced up at Ray seeing him sitting pensively before she let her eyes flicker around the diner that was surprisingly empty for the time of night before she looked back at him. “I don’t know, not really.” She shrugged weakly as she was tired, mentally and emotionally wrung out, and then there was the physical tiredness that she could feel deep in her bones. “I’m tired Uncle Ray.” It was the softest admission yet but it was by far the easiest.

Ray lent his arms on the table and folded them over in front of him as he took in Emma as she continued to swirl the spoon through her sundae in between eating mouthfuls of it. “Tell him that, tell him what you feel, and tell him what you need for you and from him Emma.” He paused and let out a sigh. “We aren’t very good Emma.” He caught her raised eyebrow and quizzical expression that was levelled his way. “Whether we want to admit it or not there are so many things that we cannot talk about then that secrecy kind of bleeds into every aspect of our lives whether we mean for it to or not.” He was including himself in that knowing there were times when he did not communicate and it was not because he could not find the words but because he reverted to what the Navy had engrained in him, in all of them. “It is not something we always realise we are doing, and it is not always intentional.” There were times when it was intentional as they did not need to scare their loved ones with some of the horrible things they saw and that scarred them invisibly. “What I am saying is that sometimes we all need to have our heads pulled out of our asses.”

Emma smiled sadly before she looked around the diner knowing that the admission would not have been easy for him but it made sense as it was a logical way of looking at the affect certain parts of their job had on the rest of their lives, and how it bled through which was far more fitting than it should have been. “Maybe I need to be included in that not very good at communicating category.” She shrugged knowing that she and her Dad were always opposite, when he wanted to talk she did not, and when she did he did not. “After all I did learn from the best.”

Ray chuckled at that admission despite how rough it was to hear that Emma felt that she could not communicate properly. “I would be happy to stay and mediate, or Naima would if you prefer.” He found himself offering seeing that the ice cream sundae was almost finished.

Emma appreciated the offer, she really did, but she could not rely on people to mediate every time she wanted to talk to her Dad. “I think this is something Dad and I need to do by ourselves but thank you.” She pushed the now empty bowl away from her, letting the spoon rest with a soft clunk down in it. “I’d like to go home if that’s alright?”

“Come on, let me get the bill, and then I will take you home.” Ray was already pulling out a wad of cash to cover the bill and the tip for their food, relieved that Emma was asking to go home. What that would bring he had no idea but hopefully it would stop the two from worrying about the other momentarily.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray watched from inside his car as Emma slowly made her way up the front path to the house where Jason was standing at the door clearly unsure how she would react to him, but Ray watched as Emma pressed herself into Jason and he wrapped her tightly in his arms. With that Ray pulled away from the curb knowing that they would be okay for the rest of the night but he made a mental note to talk to Jason once he had spoken to Emma to make sure that things righted themselves.

Emma snuggled in closer to her Dad so relieved that he was holding and hugging her just as tightly even as she heard Ray drive away. “I’m sorry Dad, I didn’t mean it, any of it, I shouldn’t have said it.” Emma rushed out choking back a sob before she pressed her face into her father’s chest.

Jason was so relieved to have Emma in his arms hugging her that he barely heard her apology and he barely caught it. “Shush sweetheart, I know, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.” He managed to pull himself back from her just enough to raise his hand up and wipe the falling tears but it was not hard to see the evidence that she had been crying before as her eyes were badly bloodshot and she had tear tracks down her face that were not fresh. “Let’s go inside sweetheart, I don’t want you to get sick.” The night air was bitterly cold and really the last thing he wanted was for Emma to get sick as he had done a lot of thinking since he had gotten the text message that Ray had found her. He had realised a few things and suspected that there was more he had to learn for him to have the complete picture.

“Okay.” Emma swallowed thickly as she was freezing especially given the flimsy top that she was wearing as she very slowly unwrapped herself from him and moved past him into the house quickly kicking off her shoes and planting herself down on the end of the couch. She watched Jason as he closed and locked the door then made his way over to her but before he sat down he reached out and grasped the blanket over the back of the couch then draped it around her shoulders. “I’m sorry Dad, I really am.” She felt she needed to apologise again as she still felt terrible for the things she had said in the heat of the moment.

Jason shook his head not wanting her to apologise again. “I was wrong to Em.” It was not an admission that was easy to make but he was man enough to admit that he had made a mistake or a few. “I forget sometimes how hard things are because you make it all so easy for me sweetheart even though you should not have had too.”

Emma chewed on her lip for a few seconds before she looked at her Dad slightly unsettled by his words. “It doesn’t feel like it Dad.” She paused as she sniffled and once again used her sleeve covered hand to wipe her face. “Uncle Ray made a couple of pretty valid points tonight.” Her voice was quiet but he heard her.

“Yeah, he is pretty damned good at being logical. Gonna share them with me?” Jason asked as he relaxed back into the couch still looking at her grateful that she was talking to him instead of shouting at him.

Emma smiled for a moment before she became serious again as she could see the exasperation that came from her Dad at Ray being right again. “Pointed out that we are both not really great at communicating… But he has a point. I should have told you what bothered me about tonight instead of throwing a tantrum and storming off causing you to worry.”

Jason really hated when Ray was right, well sometimes he did. “You snapped Em, you did not throw a tantrum. We all snap sometimes sweetheart, we don’t mean to but we do.” It was a justification but he could see the guilt that was weighing heavily on his eldest child, his only daughter, and he did not want that for her. “But I would really like to listen if you want to tell me.”

Emma sighed knowing that she had to figure out what to say otherwise nothing would be resolved and that would leave her feeling even worse but as she had said to Ray she still was not sure exactly what to say or how to say it without upsetting him. “I rushed home to cook dinner for us and you let Mikey not eat it because he did not want it because he is going through one of his picky phases right now instead you let him have something else.” She paused as she rubbed at her face again as she could see the look of confusion that appeared on his face. “I know it was unintentional but you undermined me tonight by doing that, and that simple dismissal makes it harder when you are away because Mikey all to happily throws it back at me that you did not make him do something.” She reasoned trying to explain without going into to many details but trying to give him some context.

Jason let out a harsh breath as he suddenly realised the implication of his actions. “I didn’t think Em, I am sorry. I did not think about how it could be used against you, did not think that Mikey would do something like that. I will talk to him, tell him that what you say goes when I am working, and you and me will work on making sure we are on the same page.” He was not naïve enough to think that Emma and Mikey would not clash, after all it was a lot of changes bought on so suddenly that it made his head spin let alone theirs, but he hoped that Mikey would be mature enough to respect that Emma was in charge when he was away.

Emma shook her head from side to side as she let her body fall into the cushions of the couch so that she was still facing her Dad sideways. “You know he was hers Dad.” She saw the moment her Dad blanched at her words and she hated that she had been the one to cause it. “It’s different for him because he does not have the contingencies that Mom had for me if you were the one.”

Jason felt as a pit formed in his stomach having only learned some of the little things that Alana had done in the event of his death for the kids so that he always remained with them, so that they always had reminders of him but Emma was right as there was barely anything of Alana’s and certainly none of the special little things like that she had kept of his. He was also aware enough to know that Mikey had been a Momma’s boy and that had been so cruelly and so abruptly taken away from him; the world was cruel. “I know Em, I know all of that.” It was a bit more defensive than he meant it to sound before he took a deep breath in then let it out. There were so many conflicting emotions that bubbled to the surface as Jason missed Alana more in the moment but then again if Alana had not have died then they would not have been in the positions they were.

“I miss her too Dad. I have these moments where I still look for her too, kind of still expect to walk into the kitchen and see her in there sometimes.”

“I know you do sweetheart, so do I.” Jason could see the dark circles beneath Emma’s eyes and suddenly wondered how he had missed noticing them before. “Come here Em.” He moved his arm exposing his side so that she could rest against him just like she did when she was little. “We can talk more in the morning when you are not so tired.”

Emma smiled softly as she scooted across the couch and cuddled into her Dad’s side as she rested her head on his shoulder letting her eyelids close as she relaxed into him.

“I love you Em, so much sweetheart.” Jason whispered before he kissed the top of her head content to have her beside him.

“Love you Dad.” Emma mumbled sleepily but it made Jason smile. There would be time to talk in the morning but for now a bit of sleep was what Emma needed, and Jason needed to hold his daughter close like he did when she was little.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Ray closed the door behind him, kicked off his shoes, quietly put his keys down on the kitchen counter top, then made his way over to the couch and practically collapsed down into it as he scrubbed his hands over his face feeling the exhaustion set in. Ray hadn’t even realised that he had closed his eyes until he opened them as he felt as Naima sat down next to him.

“You look like you have the weight of the world on you honey.” Naima spoke softly as she placed her hand on his chest letting it rest there.

Ray raised his hand up and covered Naima’s over his chest as he rolled his neck to the side so that he was facing her. “Emma made me think about some things.”

There was something unsettling in the way Ray spoke that had Naima alarmed. “Like what?” She asked hoping he would tell her without her having to draw it out of him.

Ray fumbled as he was not sure how to ask what he wanted to ask although he desperately wanted to know. “Do you, have you…” He paused and shook his head as if he was clearing his thoughts wondering why he was having so much trouble asking. “Do you have a plan, I mean one like Alana had, if I were to die for the kids?” No one ever wanted to think about what would happen to their partners and their children if they were to die but given the high chance of mortality in his job he knew it was a possibility.

Naima moved her other hand to the back of Ray’s head as her arm rested along the top of the couch as she let her fingers run smoothly over his neck. She frowned lightly at why Ray sounded so determined yet terrified of the answer, and it was not very often that he stumbled over his words. She knew that Emma and her husband must have had a pretty heavy conversation and she wished she had some context but she did not so she was going in blind. “There are little things we do subconsciously that most other wives and Mom’s would not but they are just so that the kids have keepsakes and memories in a physical form if the worst were to happen.” Somehow it was engrained in military wives and mom’s to do that, it was something that she had been advised of even before she had fallen pregnant with Jameelah, and it was something she had taken to heart at the time but Alana’s sudden death had made her appreciate it more and include herself in the storing of keepsakes and physical things that induced special memories.

“Like what?” Ray asked hurriedly wanting to know.

Naima was not surprised at the question. “We take more photos, treasure the moments that others capture and ask for copies of those photos and videos. We keep certain things that you might decide to donate or throw away like a shirt or a sweatshirt. We make notes on certain dates of the things you did with the kids or things that will make them proud when they are old enough to understand. It’s a whole lot of little things that seem unimportant but could mean a lot to them if anything were to happen.” She knew that there was more she could add but she did not want to overwhelm him as she was sure he understood what sort of things she saved. “After Alana died, I started to make sure that things of mine were included, and sometimes when I am home alone and the kids are in bed, I write them letters or notes. I have a notebook for each of them. It’s not all the time but it’s just something I do when I feel I want to say something to them that they are to young to appreciate or remember now. They may never read them but I know that if anything were to happen to me than they will have that.” She was not sure how he would react to finding out that but he had a right to know and not be blindsided like Jason was by the contingencies that Alana had in place at the time of her untimely death.

Once again Naima managed to catch Ray off guard with her admission that she had prepared for her own death after Alana’s but a part of him was also relieved that she had the foresight to plan for both eventualities instead of just one although he wished she did not have to plan for either. The thought of losing his wife was almost too much to bare as the pain flared in his chest momentarily. He swallowed thickly and drew in a deep breath before he exhaled slowly. “I love you baby.” He pressed his forehead against hers for a few seconds as the storm within him settled for the moment.

“I love you too Ray.” Naima was quick to respond knowing he needed to hear it as it was clear to her that his conversation with Emma had left him troubled or at least had given him some heavy thinking to do. She tried to stifle the yawn that she felt coming but she couldn’t as it escaped her lips.

“Go to bed baby, I will be in shortly.” Ray did not want to keep her up any longer than she had been already as she had been up early for her shift at the hospital then had spent the afternoon and evening chasing around the kids.

Naima leaned forward and kissed Ray softly before she pulled back and withdrew her hands from him sensing that he needed a few moments to himself to sort through the storm of emotions that were waging war inside of him fighting to be on top. She stood up and moved out of the lounge heading for the bedroom.

Ray watched as Naima walked away before he let his head fall back against the couch cushions wondering what he could do to make sure that in the event of his death that his children would remember him, something that was different, as the last thing he wanted to do was leave his wife and children floundering like Alana had left Jason and their kids, but he knew he did not have to come up with an answer right now. Instead he pushed himself to his feet and moved to check on his kids, Jameelah first then RJ, who were both asleep in their own beds peacefully before he continued to make his way through the house until he crawled into bed with his wife knowing that there would be more to discuss in the coming days and as selfish as it sounded he was glad that Emma had opened up to him because it had given him insight into what he wanted for his own kids should he or Naima die.


	7. It’s The Least We Can Do

**_ It’s The Least We Can Do – Trent Sawyer _ **

The large khaki green tent with the big bright red first aid insignia on the side stood out in the middle of the dusty decimated Afghanistan town that Bravo found themselves in but what was more alarming was the lines of people with their children that had bought them to be vaccinated during a humanitarian aid crisis. Trent looked up as he administered another vaccination to another child, he had lost count at how many injections he had given or rather he stopped counting once he hit seventy five and looked up to see that the line had gotten longer, while working alongside other medical personnel from various military organisations and world charities like Doctors Without Borders who were medically checking the children and their parent(s) before any vaccination was administered to them. It was one of the largest vaccination efforts that he had seen before let alone been a part of.

“Trent.” Lisa called softly seeing as the child was led away by her parent as soon as Trent had administered the vaccination watching as he disposed of the needle into the special sharps disposal container that was sitting next to him. She knew he had been working tirelessly and wanted him to take a break knowing he was the only one who had not yet. “Hydrate.” She held out the bottle of water that she had pulled from the cooler for him to take knowing the rest of the guys were milling about.

Trent pulled off the pair of gloves that he had on hating how sweaty his hands felt before he took the ice cold bottle of water, cracked the cap off, and took a few large mouthfuls. “Thanks. How’s Brock doing?” Trent had not even thought about stopping Brock before he walked into the tent but had quickly herded him out when he went ghostly pale as he caught the glint of sun off the various needles that were being used to vaccinate several children at once. He had meant to check on him earlier but he had gotten busy with child after child being stood in front of him or held by a parent to be vaccinated that he had not had a chance.

Lisa pursed her lips wishing she had had the forethought to stop Brock from walking inside but she knew they were all blaming themselves. It had been a few hours since they had first arrived but Brock was still suffering from the effects of his panic inducing fear of needles. “Clay is sitting with him and Cerb while Jason, Ray and Sonny patrol.” She kept it simple and light on details but Trent pinned her with a look that said he wanted all of the facts. She sighed and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into her face back behind her ear. “He is still freaked out, trembling, and Clay is working on keeping him distracted. I have Mandy and Eric on their way to collect him, Cerb and Clay and return them to base.” She had already arranged it with Jason and Eric.

“Is he on the verge of crashing?” Trent asked suspecting that he would have been as he knew that needles terrified Brock and he did not even have to be the one getting the injection for his body to go into panic mode.

Lisa knew that Trent was concerned, could hear it in his voice. “Clay, Eric and Mandy will get him back to base and into bed with Cerb cuddling into him. Yeah, he will crash pretty soon.” She eventually gave up on the pretence of pretending that Brock was alright because Trent knew exactly how he reacted and how long the effects could last.

“Make sure to remind Clay that he needs to put the pillow on the edge of the bed once Brock is asleep.” Trent swapped his half drunken bottle of water out for a fresh pair of gloves knowing that the more children they vaccinated now that the less likely the spread of disease would be which only benefitted more people. A part of him wanted to go and check on Brock but he knew that the rest of his brothers would take care of him.

Lisa reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “I will. Make sure you finish that water.” She told him before she left, and before she left the tent she glanced over to see that he was already vaccinating another child.

Trent smiled softly as Samara, one of the nurse volunteers, bought over a little girl; he had met her a few times as she was a former Navy nurse and he knew she was sincere and genuine in her care and treatment of children. “Who do we have here?” Trent asked as he readied another vaccination for the little girl as Samara knelt down in front of him with the little girl propped up on her knee.

“This is Esin, she’s nineteen months.” Samara smiled as she jiggled her knee making Esin giggle like only a little girl could.

“How is she?” Trent asked knowing she looked to little to be nineteen months but being under developed was not unusual given the famine and conditions that these children often lived in as he reached out and very gently brushed the back of his glove covered finger over the back of her hollowed cheek.

Samara smiled as she rubbed her hand over Esin’s back watching as the little girl babbled happily towards Trent. It was easy to see that the girl was touch and affection starved as she had been one of fifteen children that had been bought in by the local orphanage that was run by a couple of nuns. “Malnourished and not hitting her developmental milestones but she is better than some that we have seen today.” Samara had enough experience to know that some children died before they could help them and even if they managed to help them in time, it was a sad fact of life in these parts of the world.

Trent nodded knowing it was an all too common sight that he had seen as he gently took hold of Esin’s arm and as gently yet as quickly as he could vaccinated her. “That’s a good girl. There we go.” Trent murmured softly as he disposed of the needle and rubbed his gloved thumb over the injection site to work the vaccination into her bloodstream.

“You are good with kids. I haven’t seen one of them cry yet that has been vaccinated by you.” Samara commented knowing that it took some serious skill to vaccinate several kids without having any of them cry or scream or pull away.

Trent smiled as he shook his head. “These kids are just braver than they should be.” He shook off the compliment as Esin caught his finger in her little hand making him pause in his movements.

Samara smiled at the small interaction before her attention was drawn to a couple more of the young orphans who the doctors were just finishing up examining. “Could you hold her for a few minutes?” She asked knowing they needed another set of hands to get the children sorted.

Trent hesitated briefly before he reached out and picked Esin up transferring her from Samara’s knee to his own copying the light jiggling that she had been doing which seemed to keep the little girl content taking notice of how light she really was. “Hey there pretty girl.” He said as he let her grab his fingers again with her tiny hands as Samara left them on their own as he looked down at her wondering what her life would be like if she had been born elsewhere in the world, and what had led her to being in an orphanage but the possibilities that came to mind as answers were not ones he wanted to think about right at the moment. He smiled as she leaned back into him so he carefully shifted her so that she was sitting in his lap with her back rested against his stomach so that she was fully supported, and that he could continue to vaccinate as the line was backing up as the doctors were moving through patients faster then they were vaccinating. He made sure that Esin was encased in his arms before he pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and waved the next child over as a volunteer led them over and began vaccinating once more as he listened to Esin babble away happily and despite all the sadness of the day it was a bright spot.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Trent’s hand was aching as he dropped the last needle and syringe into the bright neon yellow sharps disposal bin knowing that they were out of the vaccinations but they had managed to successfully examine and vaccinate every single child that had come through the tent then pulled off his gloves and disposed of them. The sun was beginning to fade as he stood up and made his way out of the tent to where his brothers and Lisa minus Brock and Clay were waiting ready to leave and return to base for the night; they had spent the day alternating between patrolling the outer perimeter of the tent, and interacting with the locals as much as they could despite the language barrier that they had.

“You good brother? Jason asked as he watched as Trent stopped in front of them and stretched his back out clearly sore from sitting the majority of the day administering vaccination after vaccination as he had only caught glimpses of him throughout the day through the crowds of people as he worked away.

Trent turned and looked around at the handful of local people that were still lingering around that had been examined and had their children vaccinated before he turned back to the group. “Yeah. Any word from base?” Trent asked and it was quickly translated into any word from base about Brock.

Lisa smiled at Trent’s question or rather what he was not saying. “I spoke to Mandy a couple of hours ago and she said that Clay had put Brock to bed with Cerb before he took a nap himself.” She knew that Clay might have been napping but he would have been alert for any changes in Brock or any noise from Cerb and that he would have been worried and distracted if someone else had gone back with Brock.

“That would be right, blondie gets to nap while we sweat our asses off in the desert.” Sonny groused although it lacked any heat as he knew that Brock needed someone to keep an eye on him after he reacted to the needles but he would not have minded if it was him as being out of the desert sun was appealing.

Trent smiled at Sonny’s grumbling before he looked back over his shoulder catching sight of Samara climbing onto the bus before she looked his way and gave him a short wave which he returned before she disappeared onto the bus and out of his sight as it pulled out.

“Anything you want to tell us brother?” Sonny teased having caught the quick interaction and the longing look before Trent turned back to them.

“Nah brother. We should get back.” Trent tried to shift the attention away from him as he certainly did not like it but he also knew that travelling at night was dangerous in the region they were in, and he wanted to check on Brock despite knowing that there was not much he could do other than get a decent amount of sleep however it still would make him feel better to see and check on his brother.

“Nah huh, not until you tell us who that nice lady was that you were makin’ flirty eyes at.” Sonny was not going to let it go as he caught the slight flush that rose on Trent’s cheeks.

Trent shook his head and could not help it as his eyes flicked to the bus that was fading into the distance along with the last of the light.

“Everyone in the van, Ray you are driving. And then Trent can answer your question Sonny.” Jason ordered seeing that Sonny was about to complain but quickly stopped it as he smirked at Trent as there was no way he was getting out of answering the question that the Texan had posed. Jason was sure that he heard Trent groan and mutter something under his breath even as he climbed into the van with everyone else. Jason saw the smirk that Ray sent his way as he climbed into the front passenger seat beside him but said nothing as he started the van and pulled out.

Sonny was not about to let it go as he turned around and looked at Trent who had sat beside Lisa in the hope that she would not tease him. “C’mon Trent, tell us about that lady there.” He jabbed as he twirled his finger loosely in the direction that the bus went.

Sonny really is like a dog with a bone, Trent thought as he shook his head. “She’s a nurse Sonny, we have worked together before, that’s it.” He hoped that Sonny would drop it but he knew that he would not.

“Played a little medic and nurse action, did we?” Sonny wiggled his eyebrows at Trent.

“Sonny.” The warning growl from Trent did not go unnoticed by anyone in the van. He was in no mood to be questioned as he turned his head and looked out the window at the fading city.

“So you did.” Sonny smirked continuing to press Trent’s buttons as he completely ignored the growl from him.

“Sonny.” Lisa warned as she had felt Trent tense beside her.

“Oh come on, a bit of knockin’ boots never hurt anyone, and it definitely ain’t gonna hurt with someone as fine as that nurse.” Sonny continued to wind Trent up.

Jason turned around to look as he cringed at Sonny’s words especially after the tone that Trent had used which usually would be enough to shut anyone up. “Sonny enough! That’s an order!” Jason usually would not step in but it was clear to him that Trent was tired and not in the mood to listen to Sonny being disparaging. There was clearly some history there that Trent was not ready to divulge, and Jason could understand if what they had seen today was wearing on him after all it had gotten to him but he had been able to step away and have a decent reprieve.

“What? C’mon Jase! Trent’s making googly eyes at a nurse and we aren’t allowed to ask anything?” Sonny protested petulantly as he turned around to look at Jason trying to convince him to let him continue poking at Trent but the glare from him was enough to tell him to shut up. He huffed and settled back down in his seat as he stuck a toothpick in his mouth.

Trent pressed his forehead against the glass as he exhaled harshly as he watched on as they passed through the decimated town seeing the squalid conditions and the kids that lingered on the dirty streets that he had seen and vaccinated earlier in the day as Samara’s words run around in his head about malnutrition and developmental issues that the children faced.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Clay threw the blanket back over Brock as he had rolled over to grab the pillow and it had ended up falling to the floor. To Clay he still looked paler than he usually was, and he could see that the tremors were still lightly running through his body from the residual panic from earlier in the day. He turned at the sound of the door opening and relaxed as he watched Trent walk through the door. “Hi.” Clay spoke softly as he finished tucking the blanket around him before he gave Cerb a pat as the dog had waited patiently while he fixed the blanket before he wriggled back in beside Brock.

Trent let out a breath seeing that Clay was tending to Brock just as he would have. “Hey, how is he?” Trent moved closer to get a proper look although he wished that Brock was awake so he could examine him. He did not want to wake him up so he was going to wait until he woke before he did examine him.

Clay looked at Trent and stepped back so that he had the room to look at Brock. “He’s been asleep since we got back but he is quite restless, doesn’t quite seem to want to settle. Keeps kicking the blanket off too.” He paused and drew his bottom lip in between his teeth for a few seconds before he released it. “I managed to get him to drink a whole bottle of water on the way back but he was fighting to keep it down the whole way.”

Trent was not surprised that Brock had been fighting nausea but he was surprised that he was unsettled in his sleep as usually after an episode with his fear of needles he would sleep soundly and hardly move so they could leave him be. Trent reached out and gently palmed Brock’s forehead wanting to make sure that he was not coming down with anything by running a fever which he did not seem to be which was a relief. “Mind staying with him for a bit longer while I grab a shower?” Trent was hesitant to leave Brock as he really did not like that he was restless but he needed a shower as he was sweaty and had a fine layer of dirt coating every bit of his exposed skin.

“I’m good brother. Mandy stayed with him when I went to shower earlier.” Clay understood the need to shower and he would never begrudge Trent for taking a bit of time for himself.

“Thanks.” Trent moved away from Brock after giving Cerb a quick pat before he grabbed his shower kit, towel and a clean set of clothes. He took one last look at Brock before he left the room again and crossed the camp heading for the showers.

Trent groaned as he stripped off feeling as the fine particles of dirt and sand dropped down around him before he stepped into the cold dribble of water but it would suffice as it felt good against his sweat slicked skin. He ran his soaped up hand over his arm feeling the thick scars that were permanently etched into his skin before he closed his eyes as they made him think of Samara as she ended up being the first person he saw when he was finally aware of what was going on around him as the medicated haze had cleared mostly. She had reassured him so calmly that he was okay, told him where he was and what had happened, and stayed with him until someone returned to be with him, but that there had forged a lifelong friendship which saw them cross paths from time to time. She had told him there was always a spot for him if he ever decided it was time to step away from the action as they always needed volunteers with medical knowledge and treatment experience, and the offer had always enticed him as it was something that he kept in the back of his mind but he wondered how she saw what she did every day and how it did not get to her.

“Trent?!” Jason called making Trent snap out of his thoughts and huff loudly as he hit his forehead against the wall of the shower wishing that he could just get a few minutes to himself but he knew Jason would not have interrupted him if it was not important, or at least he hoped that was the case. “Sorry brother but Brock’s awake and he doesn’t look very well. If I did not know better I would think he was panicking again.” Jason did not want to worry Trent but he had taken one look at Brock when he walked into see that he was awake and looking worse by the minute as Cerb whined next to him. It was always better to advise Trent immediately of any health issues as it prevented the medic stressing out, or at least reduced his stress a bit as catching things earlier generally made them easier to treat.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Trent hurried to wash the soapy lather that had formed off before he turned off the water and grabbed his towel, drying off then dressing as quickly as he could.

Jason watched as Trent walked around the corner, his hair was still dripping wet and his clothes were sticking to his damp skin as he clearly had not dried himself off very well, but Jason knew better than to comment as he fell into step beside him. “He’s trembling, is really pale, and seems lethargic. More than usual.” He reported wondering what about this time was causing such a prolonged effect on Brock but knowing better than to ask as they made it across base in record time.

Trent barrelled through the door ahead of Jason pushing all of his thoughts about his past, about Samara, and about the children he had seen today aside as he zeroed in on Brock who was sitting up with his feet hanging over the edge of the top bunk while Ray and Clay stood on either side to make sure that he did not fall as they each had a hand on his elbow. “Hey brother, what’s going on?” Trent asked moving to stand in front of Brock whose eyes were half lidded and he seemed short of breath as if he was panicking again but his body was to exhausted to actually exhibit the panic and have a full reaction which Trent was grateful for.

Brock blinked heavily wondering when the rest of his brothers got back as he fought the nausea that was slowly bubbling away and tried to breathe in and out rhythmically. He flinched as Trent reached out and placed his fingers on his neck checking his pulse.

“Here brother, I want you to drink some water, take nice slow sips. I know you aren’t feeling well but it will help then we are going to let you go back to sleep.” Trent pushed a water bottle that Jason had handed him into Brock’s shaking hand having already uncapped it waiting and watching until he slowly raised it up to his mouth and took a small sip but even that seemed hard for him to do, and it was clear that he was fighting the feeling of being nauseous.

Brock wavered and he would have slipped off the edge of the bunk if not for his brothers holding him up as Trent took the bottle of water away from him and handed it off to Jason who was doing his best not to appear antsy and stay out of Trent’s way as Brock was already crowded enough.

“Okay, let’s get you back down Brock.” Trent knew that short of giving Brock a Xanax there was nothing else he could do, and he was hesitant to give him one because of the state he was in, so it was best for him to just sleep it off. Trent stepped back and let Clay and Ray help Brock to lay back down before he was covered up with the blanket with his eyes closed.

“I am in for the night.” Trent told Jason without an ounce of hesitation despite having hoped for some time alone but he was not going to leave Brock especially not in the state he was in as he moved to put his things away.

“I have a book to finish.” That was Clay’s way of saying he was staying in for the night too which was not a surprise as he stepped away and quickly topped Cerb’s bowls off with fresh kibble and water before he climbed up into his own bunk so that he had a clear line of sight to Brock.

“Okay. You two want me to have anything bought over for you?” Jason asked knowing that he and Ray had to join Eric, Lisa and Mandy in TOC to go over some various bits and pieces but he wanted to make sure his team was alright. Sonny was sitting by the fire pit when he had last looked, and it was probably for the best given the goading mood that he seemed to be in whereas Trent was not in the mood to be goaded which Jason could understand as he was sure the day had been draining on him. There was also something unsettling in Trent’s manner that Jason could not quite pinpoint either which he would keep an eye on and hope it resolved itself before an intervention was needed.

“No.” Trent answered shortly as he looked over Brock once more seeing that he was still trembling but it looked to be subsiding a little bit at least although it still was not enough for him to be comfortable with.

“I’m good.” Clay answered already thumbing through his book to find the page that he was on although Jason doubted he would get much further in the book as he would spend more time keeping an eye on Brock than anything else.

“We will be over in TOC if anything changes.” Ray checked his watch knowing that they were already late but Brock took precedent which he knew Eric, Mandy and Lisa would understand but he still nodded his head towards the door after he had captured Jason’s attention.

Jason knew that Ray was hurrying him up. “Alright, I will be back to check in once we are finished.” He said before he followed Ray out making sure the door was closed firmly behind him to keep the humid air out of the cool room.

Trent laid on his bed and stuffed a pillow under his head as he struggled to get comfortable as his entire body was rigid as the unease he felt was suffocating. He blinked as he stared up at the wooden boards that held the top bunk as his mind strayed back to Samara and the children that he had vaccinated. He really wondered why people who lived in a country that was in the midst of a humanitarian crisis would keep bringing children into the world knowing that they would be raised in poverty, face all sorts of diseases, become overly familiar with the feeling of starvation which lead to malnourishment and developmental problems, but then he scolded himself as he knew that it was not fair to think that way as everyone deserved to be parents even those in impoverished nations. It was hard to see what he had but helping by administering vaccinations helped him as he had the knowledge that at least the children would not suffer from the terrible diseases that they were being vaccinated for considering they already went through more than enough suffering.

Trent sighed softly as he scrubbed his hands over his face feeling how dry his skin was before he let himself think about all of the other things that were on his brain. He had never claimed himself to be paternal but he could see the appeal of having children, had seen the joy that children bought to those around him, had watched as some of his brothers had become doting dads, and sometimes he found himself longing for that but then he would remember the job he did and he could not bring himself to do that. Inevitably that thinking obscurely led to him moving to think about Samara and the work that she did in some of the most dangerous parts of the world and how she had been the light in the darkness in one of the worst times of his life when he was not sure whether he would ever operate again. She was one of those people that he could not see for a long time but somehow they always managed to pick up right where they left off, stayed overly casual, and there was something insanely comforting about it.

There was way to much going on in Trent’s head and he wondered how the hell all of this thinking had stemmed from spending the day administering vaccinations to children. What he did know was that the children were amazing because despite being hungry, dirty, and in threadbare clothes, they were still happy which really was a strength in itself. He shifted as he heard a soft whine from Cerb and his attention once again shifted to Brock as he climbed out of his bunk to check on him once more seeing that he was restless in his sleep just as Clay had said he had been. He waited a few moments until Brock settled again knowing that the day had been hard on them both for two totally different reasons but it would have lasting effects on him while Brock would be recovered by the morning at least until the next time he saw a needle. He crawled back into bed and closed his eyes knowing he would not be sleeping for the rest of the night as he had plenty more to think about.


	8. Evac!

**_ Evac! – Mandy Ellis _ **

Bravo had been headed home from a mission when they were diverted to Haiti after another cyclone had ripped through the Caribbean country as boots were needed on the ground in an effort to help with the massive evacuation effort that had already been started before the extreme weather front had even hit. It was surreal to move around in the wake of the cyclone as the damage was something far beyond the imaginable but what was more incredible was the way the sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky despite it being late in the afternoon when they had landed. Eric, Mandy and Lisa along with half of the support team had gone to one of the makeshift evacuation centres whilst Bravo and the remaining members of support had been deployed with some of the local military to help look for survivors and tag locations where bodies were located as they were to be collected by a secondary wave of first responders who would work to identify them and return their bodies to their families for proper burials rather than the mass graves that were used after the last cyclone that hit the country.

Jason looked around at his men knowing they were already exhausted from the hellish mission they were returning from and now they were covered in thick mud that had begun to dry and clump together along with the sweat that had dried to their skin as the humid air took its toll on them. It would not be long before night would be upon them and with that knowledge the rescue and recovery effort would be put on hold until the morning as it was simply to dangerous to continue with no power and several natural and manmade dangers looming that the cyclone had left in its path which is why the call had been made for them to come in and for them to meet up at the makeshift evacuation centre to help for a little longer.

“What time is everyone heading back out in the morning?” Jason asked one of the local military men as he hauled his weary body up into the back of the pick up truck that was their mode of transportation feeling as Ray grabbed his vest and hauled him further back as the truck jolted forward thanks to its jerky gearbox so that he did not fall. He knew Ray would not let go of him until he hauled his legs up so they were not hanging over the tray of the pick up truck so he shuffled back and twisted around so that his knees were close to his chest and his feet were firmly planted on the back of the truck.

“Not my call to make, they will assess the conditions at first light using aerial means before they decide where to deploy us as it will all depend on what they see from the air.” The local man informed them with ease as he shook his head knowing that they had covered far more area that he had thought they would but that it was due to the men around him who all had looked weary before they had even begun to trudge through the devastation and destruction. “We appreciate how fast you got here, every extra set of hands is appreciated.”

Jason nodded his head and remained silent as there was not a lot he could say to that as humanitarian aid missions were not usually in their realm of missions but it certainly was not below him or his team. The only thing that Jason did not like was the wait and see approach that seemed to be taken but then again he never particularly liked that approach as it made him antsy however he understood that a natural disaster on such a grand scale was something he had never experienced nor had he ever coordinated such a massive rescue and recovery task before so he had to take his cues and go with the knowledge that the local men and authorities had.

For now they would let the eerie silence surround them as they were driven back towards the makeshift evacuation centre where they would meet up with everyone else.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Mandy felt flustered and it was certainly not a feeling she was accustomed too as she pulled her hair up into a messy top bun as it was sticking uncomfortably to her neck due to the stuffiness and humid air that seemed thick in the packed evacuation centre. It had been hours since she had arrived with Eric, Lisa and half of the support team but it had felt much longer as she watched person after person trickle into the large building, one of the few that seemed to have stood up considerably well against mother nature’s violent force, as they were bought in by rescue teams or somehow miraculously had made their own way through the mud and debris. She was so out of her element as there was no one to hunt down for the atrocities that had been forced upon these people, no information to analyse, and no distance from the devastation that allowed her to remain impartial.

What was most striking to Mandy was the amount of scared and vulnerable young children that were being grouped in one corner still muddy with various minor scratches, cuts and bruises, and after a brief exchange of words she had learned that they were children that had been found alone and had yet to have found their parents or any familial relations to take care of them. She remembered when she was young and the feeling of vulnerability that she had at times when her mother was out hustling or pulling one scam or another which left her alone until she inevitably gravitated towards the small group of approximately fifteen children with the oldest being around eight or nine if she had to guess and the youngest being around one, a baby really.

Mandy was not really all that maternal but she could not let the children be ignored as she picked up the baby of the group and rested her on her hip before she gently guided the children towards one of the members of support who was rendering basic first aid checking and cleaning out wounds as the last thing any of these people needed were infections or illnesses. However she suddenly realised the mistake she made as the terrified children begun to cling to her, crying loudly, and nothing she did would make it better as there was simply not enough of her to go around. She sat herself down on the edge of one of the beds that had been set up, propped the baby up on her lap with her hand rubbing small circles on her back, while she kept a close eye as each child was examined and treated as she reached out and wiped their tears away every so often as they ran down their cheeks or rubbed their back or arm with her other hand as she tried to lessen their fear even if it was just for a moment and give them a small amount of comfort.

The basic medical examinations were over quickly and Mandy shepherded the children back to the corner that had somehow become theirs before she went to scrub her hand over her face but stopped seeing the fine layer of dirt that had built up on it instead she dropped it and rubbed it against her jeans before she looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms seeing that the rest of the children were all beginning to fade as they were exhausted but it would be hard to sleep with the incandescent atmosphere in the building as the noise rose to the rafters.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Eric smiled as he took a brief pause in directing people various ways as the flow of people had slowed to a trickle now that night had fallen, and as ominous as the thought was he had concluded that the survivors were all now at the evacuations centres around the effected parts of the country and that there would be no more survivors left out, as he looked across the evacuation centre to see Mandy comforting and corralling terrified children. How she had been the one to end up with that task he did not know but as flustered as she appeared she still was working wonders with them. Eric felt a presence beside him and shifted his gaze away just long enough to see that it was Lisa who had come to stand beside him.

Lisa followed Eric’s gaze and smiled softly despite the suffering that was all around them. “I just heard from the guys, they got held up on their way back in but they should be here soon. The locals seem to have here under control for the night so I suggest once we have all met back up we return to the plane, get ourselves cleaned up and get some rest before we hit the ground early in the morning.” She informed him watching as Mandy swayed gently from side to side to keep the little girl in her arms asleep as she seemed the only one able to sleep with the noise and humid air.

Eric had let his eyes wonder back to Mandy as he listened to Lisa. “Good, we are all going to need to get some rest.” He replied knowing that they would stay until they were told to return home but that it would have been a rough and physically gruelling few hours on the ground for the men of Bravo and the support staff that were with them. “She doing okay?” He asked as he nodded towards Mandy who had her back to them.

Lisa wanted to laugh at Eric’s question but stopped herself. “Think she is a bit out of her comfort zone but then again none of this is standard operating for us.”

“Yeah, would have to agree with you on that.” Eric’s worry lessened the tiniest amount before he pulled his gaze away from Mandy and the children and scanned the packed building before he looked at Lisa. “I will confer with the brass to see how long they expect to have us grounded here once we are back at the plane.” He was not a fool and knew that the men were exhausted from a mission that could only be described as FUBAR, and he could only hope that once the large contingent of American military and world organisations arrived on the ground that they would be ordered to return back stateside so that the men could have a few days at home before being spun up again. The only reason that they had been diverted and had ended up being the first American military boots on the ground was because they were in the air and close by.

Lisa knew that Eric was eager to get the team home as the mission had weighed heavily on all of them and left them all exhausted, not just physically but mentally, and they were not equipped to be on the ground for much longer as they did not have a whole lot of supplies to sustain them for days on end. “Looks like it will be a few more MRE’s to eat for everyone.” There was not a lot else she could say although she knew that there would be a litany of complaints come her way with that realisation when it hit them as they had already spent the last few days eating them.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Sonny groaned as he slapped his arm to rid himself of the bug that had landed on him as he did his best not to grumble but he had already mentally added cyclone ravaged countries to his no go list just as they hit another crater sized pothole in the muddy dirt road that jarred his already aching body. “What kind of fresh hell is this?” He grumbled for what felt like the twentieth time since they had walked off of the plane earlier in the afternoon.

“We are five minutes out.” One of the local military men that was riding with them offered the information from the front of the truck that they were riding in.

It had been a painfully slow trip back to the evacuation centre that Eric, Mandy, Lisa and the remaining support staff had been stationed at as the muddy terrain and various pieces of debris that were scattered about had slowed them down and the fading light had only made it harder to navigate until they were in the pitch black as power was still out to large parts of the country which was not hard to understand given the devastation.

Clay opened his eyes just enough to see what Sonny was complaining about this time as the man had spent the whole time they were trudging through the thick mud complaining about mother nature’s wrath, mud, bugs, rain, and every goddamn thing else that he came across. “Sonny, give it a rest will you?” Clay had bit his tongue plenty but he really was tired and did not want to have to listen to another rambling diatribe from the Texan.

“Just cause you like playing in the mud with bugs while you rattle off facts poster boy does not mean the rest of us have to endure it quietly.” Sonny drawled as he slapped and squished another bug that had landed on his neck hating the way his skin felt as though it was constantly crawling.

Clay sighed tiredly at the sharp retort from Sonny but decided it was best not to bite back with his own retort or correct him that none of them particularly enjoyed being knee deep in mud and having bugs constantly landing on them nor did they like seeing the devastation or spending hours finding mangled bodies and feeling helpless as it was clear to him that Sonny was not going to back down or stop complaining.

“What? Nothing to say to that poster boy?” Sonny tried to goad a response from Clay as he felt his anger grow as he swatted another bug away from his arm.

Brock felt and heard the sigh that escaped Clay’s lips as he was sat next to him, practically squished up against him, as they all were squished in the tight space in the back of the pick-up truck. He had been glad that Cerb had stayed on the plane as the hair missile would have trudged on mercifully through the mud until one of them had taken pity on him and carried him but there would have been nothing that Cerb could have done. Usually Brock would remain out of the petty squabbles that went on between his brothers but he had to admit that Sonny’s consistent and never ending monologue of complaints was getting to him too. “Sonny, that’s enough. None of us are comfortable; we are all miserable, all exhausted and all covered in bug bites.” Brock kept his voice quiet as the last thing they needed was to be overheard by their Haitian counterparts although he had expected either Jason or Ray to have stepped in as it was clear that it was not the usual bickering and that Sonny was clearly trying to goad Clay into an argument, actually it was clear that he was trying to pick a fight with anyone that would engage him.

Sonny glared at Brock who did not wilt under it instead he met it as he did not look away.

“Knock it off all of you.” Jason opened his eyes and pinned them with a glare of his own knowing that tempers were frayed but the last thing they needed was disharmony within the team. Jason tended to agree with Clay and Brock this time as Sonny’s complaining and the conditions they had been working in had been largely undesired but he was smart enough not to take a side.

The truck lurched violently to a stop outside of the evacuation centre and the men all knew it would only be a short reprieve from the battering of travelling as they still had to get back to the plane. One by one the men disembarked feeling the aches and pains a little bit more as their feet hit the ground.

Jason led the way into the building instantly spotting Eric with Lisa beside him knowing that his team were following after him while the support staff had stayed outside. “Where is Mandy?” Jason asked seeing that the support staff that had been sent to the evacuation centre had already packed up and were heading for the vehicles to get back to the plane.

“Over there.” Eric pointed in Mandy’s direction subtly seeing that she was in the middle of tucking the children into the beds as she had got them to top and tail as there were not enough beds to go round all the while still holding the little baby girl who was sleeping peacefully with her little head rested on her shoulder.

“Who let the ice queen near the kids?” Sonny groused, his foul mood strongly evident, as he followed where Eric had pointed while trying to shake the drying mud off of him as it was drying uncomfortable and making his uniform feel heavy.

Eric turned and looked at Sonny taking in the state of him before he looked over all the men seeing they were all in need of a shower and a change of clothes before he looked back at Mandy deciding it was best to ignore Sonny.

“How long has she been with the children?” Jason slapped Sonny in the back of the head as he asked his question choosing to reprimand him that way instead of verbally. It was not often he saw Mandy looking flustered but then again none of them looked their best.

“A while.” Lisa kept her voice soft as she answered knowing it had been long enough to get the children checked and treated, rationed some food for them before getting them calmed enough to get them tucked into the beds that were not really fit for purpose but would have to do as it was the only things they had.

Brock stood and he found himself smiling as he watched as Mandy stood to her full height once she had finished tucking the blanket around and began swaying and rubbing the little girl’s back as she seemed to have moved or made some noise that suggested she was unsettled. “She’s good with them.” Brock found the words slipping from his lips without much thought counteracting Sonny’s bitter comment although that was not on purpose.

“Yeah, you want to go over and see if you can get that little girl separated from her? We need to go, get cleaned up, eat and get some sleep before the morning comes.” Eric asked Brock as his presence would be welcomed as he had a radiating calmness that exuded from him which is what the children and Mandy needed for the moment. Brock nodded and stepped around Eric and Lisa heading towards Mandy, and if he walked a little slow then no one would call him on it as he wanted to give her a few more moments.

“Has everyone here been medically evaluated?” Trent asked as he looked around the room seeing that there were a lot of people with minor injuries. He had been given the option on where he wanted to go and had decided to go with the rest of the team given his medical training as he was well versed in administering field first aid and he knew that the training that the support staff would have been was given adequate to treat minor wounds.

Lisa smiled as she turned to look at Trent knowing he would ask the question sooner or later so she was not surprised. “They have all been looked at Trent. The locals have been very good at directing survivors of the cyclone to where they needed to go whether it was to the evacuation centres that have been opened or to the hospital that is still standing for treatment if that was what was needed.”

“Lisa, go back with the guys and most of support. Leave a small contingent here, and I will drive back with Mandy and Brock once they are ready to leave.” Eric expected a small amount of backlash from his decision but it would be easier to send the team back now with Lisa and let them get settled and it also meant they would not be staring at Mandy as if she was alien to them.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Sonny grumbled as he turned on his feet and headed back out the way they had come in ready to head back to the plane for the evening.

“What?” Lisa turned back to Eric with a frown wondering what he was thinking as she ignored Sonny’s attitude and actions knowing he was more ornery than usual.

“We are all tired and hungry, the guys are dirty, head back with them. It’s not a request Lisa.” Eric pointed out the obvious before he pinned Lisa with a hard look that would be enough to give anyone second thoughts about questioning him except for Lisa, Mandy and Jason who all seemed immune to it.

Lisa looked over the men and knew that Eric was right but she did not like it as she would prefer that they all went together especially now that night had fallen however she was not going to argue as she was hot, tired and hungry herself. “Okay. Don’t stay too long” That was Lisa’s way of saying that she wanted them back on the plane with them as quickly as they could. “Come on guys.” Lisa knew that it was now on her to corral the men out of the centre and back to the plane as she stole one more look seeing that Brock was making deliberate slow progress through the crowds of people on his way over to Mandy. She put her hand on Clay’s shoulder and Trent’s forearm and nodded towards the exit seeing that the exhaustion seemed to be weighing the heaviest on the two of them but it was not surprising given the two had been pinned down on the mission which had put them in an impossible position as they had to make some hard choices.

Ray who had remained largely silent knew that Jason was not happy to be leaving without Brock or Mandy from the look that he gave Eric. Ray had to admit that it was nice to see Mandy being so delicate with the way she had tucked the children in despite how frazzled she looked but then he would put some of that to the humid air and lack of sleep that was getting to them all. “Come on Jay, Eric will get them back, they will not be far behind us.” He spoke firmly as he reached out and squeezed Jason’s shoulder slightly surprised that he had not already argued the point with Eric.

Jason looked at Ray before he scrubbed his hand over his thigh as he had pulled his dirty and battered gloves off in the truck on their way over. “Yeah, okay.” Jason fell into step behind Lisa who was guiding Trent and Clay out as Ray walked beside him. He was too tired to argue but it did not mean that he liked to be separated from anyone on his team.

Eric knew that Lisa would get them back to the plane without too much fuss while he let Mandy have the time that she needed too, and Brock was always good at calming things down. Eric diverted his attention to another area of the centre seeing that some supplies were being loaded in by local officials although there would be plenty more to come in the coming days.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Brock smiled softly as he finally reached Mandy seeing her turn towards him just in time to finally see him. “Hi.” He kept his voice soft as he could before he cringed at the hoarseness of his voice.

“Hi.” Mandy spoke quietly and smiled tiredly as she continued to sway absentmindedly and to rub her hand in small circles over the nameless little girl’s back wishing that someone had come forward to claim her in the hours since she had picked her up. “You and the guys okay?” She asked as she took in the state of him knowing that what they would have faced would have been hard to witness even for seasoned Tier One Operators like those on Bravo.

Brock chuckled hoarsely as he looked down at himself before he looked back at Mandy who somehow managed to look just as dirty as them and she had not been trekking through the mud like they had. “We are all fine, tired and dirty but fine. Who is this sweet little girl?” Brock had used some of his water to clean most of the dirt off of his hands that had managed to get into his gloves before he had walked in so his hands were relatively clean as he reached out and placed his hand over Mandy’s making her pause in her actions of rubbing circles.

“I don’t know. No one has come forward for her Brock.” The sadness in Mandy’s voice was something that would haunt Brock as he stepped closer to her so that they were almost touching without squishing the little girl between them.

“They will.” It was naïve to say but Brock wanted to give her some hope as he watched the little girl snuggle tighter into Mandy in her sleep.

Mandy pinned him with a glare before it softened as she could appreciate what Brock was trying to do and realised that maybe he was not just saying it for her sake but for his as well. “How the hell can they keep going through this?” She asked knowing that the country had been hit by a number of damaging cyclones in the past several years yet here they were again.

“I don’t know.” It was the only answer Brock had but he understood what she was saying. “You know we are going to have to go soon.” He stated softly not even bothering to try and clear his throat and ease the hoarseness of his voice.

Mandy cast her eyes over the fourteen children that she had tucked in for the night seeing they were almost all asleep before she looked back at Brock then to the little girl in her arms watching her for a few silent minutes. “Who is going to look after them though?” She asked showing a bit more of her vulnerable side, one that she preferred to keep under wraps as it did not suit her nor was it beneficial to her.

Brock really wished that she had not have asked that question as he saw the side of Mandy that she did not often show. “They will band together like people do in hard times.” What Mandy might not have realised was that people had been watching over the children even when she was caring for them. “Take a look around you Mandy.” Brock waited as he watched her scan the area waiting until the realisation dawned on her as he knew it would as she would see what he was seeing.

Mandy looked around the area seeing how people were constantly looking over and there were local officials that would remain overnight but she knew what Brock was indicating to her without stating it outright. “They take care of their own just like we do.” She spoke softly after a few minutes as it dawned on her although she knew it would be a different way but it was still the same principal that could be applied.

Brock smiled. “Yeah, they do, that is how they keep recovering time after time too… Why don’t you put this princess down for the night? We can get her settled before we have to head out for the night.” He suggested softly seeing that there was a space left in one of the beds that had been pushed up against the wall with one of the youngest children, one that he knew would have been left deliberately by her as there was a blanket that had been rolled up and placed along the edge as a barrier.

Mandy was resistant to put the little girl down but she knew that Brock was right as she had to return to the plane with everyone else for the rest of the night however the mere thought of leaving the children made her anxious and she had no idea why.

Brock could sense her anxiousness as he let his hand slip from her shoulder down to her elbow. “I will give you a hand Mandy.” It was not an offer as such but rather an indication of what he would be doing. He knew there was more to what was going on but he also knew she would not disclose it until she was ready.

“Okay.” Mandy nodded softly hesitating for a few moments longer before she turned and began waking over to the bed that she had made habitable for the two youngest so that they were cushioned and would not roll off onto the floor. She felt the steady and reassuring presence of Brock as he let his hand slip from her elbow around to the centre of her back as they made their way over to the bed. She hesitated as she went to pull the blanket back so that she could lay the little girl down.

“I’ve got it.” Brock kept his voice soft sensing her hesitation as he stepped around her, letting his hand fall from her back as he did, and gently pulled back the blanket without disturbing the toddler at the other end of the bed. “She will be okay Mandy, they all will be. The fact that they found their way here is great.” He was reassuring her as he had seen the outcome of the ones that had been unable to escape the atrocities that the cyclone bought with it so he knew that these children were already better off because they were alive and in the safety of the evacuation centre.

Mandy shook her head knowing she was being ridiculous as she stepped closer, bent down, and very gently untangled the little girl from herself before she laid her down then stepped back as Brock covered her with the blanket with the upmost gentleness. She smiled as she watched as Brock very delicately made sure that the nameless little girl was tucked in tightly before he moved so that he was beside her once more. “Thank you.” Mandy whispered without looking away from the little girl who seemed to still be sleeping soundly.

Brock smiled and dipped his head as he let the silence settle between them for a few minutes longer allowing Mandy the time she needed to make sure that the little girl and subsequently the rest of the children that she had been drawn to were settled for the night before he had to interrupt. “Come on, we need to get going. The ride back is going to suck.” He hated to have to pull her away as it was clear to him that more was going on with her but he was also well aware of how treacherous and not to mention dangerous it would be to travel back to where their plane was grounded now that night had fallen. She merely nodded before she allowed him to lead her away.

Eric smiled softly as he finished his conversation with one of the local officials and turned back just in time to see that Brock and Mandy were making his way over to him. He glanced down at his watch and saw that it had been almost thirty minutes since he had sent Brock over to Mandy and Lisa back to the plane with Bravo which surprised him but he had gotten busy talking to the local official who was kind enough to provide him with a run down on what the next few days would bring as they were unfortunately well versed in these types of disasters. “You okay?” He asked once Mandy was stood in front of him looking far more pale and exhausted that he had seen her look in a long time before he shifted his eyes to Brock who looked just as bad as the rest of his team as he was exhausted and covered in freshly dried mud.

Mandy reached up then paused as she caught sight of her dirty hands once more and let her hand drop back down deciding not to worry about the loose hair that she was going to push back behind her ear. “I’m fine. Where is everyone?” She asked waving off his concern with ease even though she was anything but as she resisted looking over her shoulder once more at the kids she had left behind.

“I sent them back to the plane which is where we are going now that you are ready to go.” Eric answered seeing that the two of the support staff that Lisa had left behind were waiting near the door ready to usher them to the vehicle, and if he did not know better than he would have said they appeared slightly anxious as the time had drawn out which had him wondering what exactly Lisa’s orders were to them.

“Let me guess that MRE’s and cold showers are waiting for us when we get back.” Brock knew not to expect luxury but he hoped for something more than another MRE to eat and an ice cold shower although if that was all that was on offer then he would take it because he was starving and he wanted to at least feel a little bit clean again.

“Unfortunately yes. Come on, I will find out more once we get back to the plane.” Eric stepped aside letting Brock usher Mandy past him first before he fell into step behind him seeing the looks of relief that washed over the two support staff members as they quickly led them over to one of the vans that they had secured to transport them from the plane to the evacuation centre or wherever else they were required.

Mandy climbed into the back seat of the van with Brock taking the seat next to her while Eric took the middle row as the two support staff got in the front seats knowing one would drive and the other would navigate whilst keeping an eye out for craters in the road or debris. She found herself leaning against Brock with her head rested on his shoulder and her hand rested on his wrist as they pulled away from the centre. For some reason she could not shake the feeling that she was abandoning those kids and it was not sitting well with her.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

The order had come through only an hour or so after Mandy had returned to the plane with Brock and Eric that they were to return stateside as other American military assets would be landing in Haiti before sunrise, and within twenty minutes of that order coming through they were in the air flying home.

Mandy had curled up in one of the seats reserved for the straps making sure she was far enough away from everyone that she would not be bothered as she was not in the mood to socialise but then again everyone had practically found themselves a place to pass out as they all took the chance to get what little rest they could before they got home as no one knew how long they would be home as was usually the case. She pulled at the loose thread of the blanket that she had draped over her lap as she still felt frozen from the icy cold shower that she had taken which had helped to get the built up grime off of her but it could not remove the guilt that still lingered as she had connected with those kids only to abandon them like they had already been.

“I thought you would be sleeping.”

Mandy startled violently as she had been lost in her thoughts as she looked up and found Jason had taken the seat beside her. “I could say the same thing about you.” She replied as she settled back into the seat and adjusted the blanket as it had moved with all of her movements.

Jason huffed as he scrubbed a hand over his face trying to ignore the way his eyes were burning from the lack of sleep while he kept turning over the chocolate bar in his other hand that he had pulled out of his bag as he was not a big eater of sweets but he wanted something other than an MRE. “Thought I would split half of this with you seeing as we seem to be the only two awake but I can go away if you want.” He held the chocolate bar up and wiggled it making her smile as he knew the sweet tooth she harboured even though she tried not to indulge herself too often.

“You can’t offer a woman chocolate then try to take it away from her Jason.” Mandy was being absolutely serious about that as she eyed the large bar of milk chocolate that was in his hand making Jason chuckle softly.

“I should know that by now, shouldn’t I?” Jason teased as he cracked the bar in half in the wrapper before he tore open the wrapper.

“Yes you should have.” Mandy took the half that she was offered and cracked it into several more pieces so that they were bite sized before she rested every piece but one down on the blanket in her lap so that it would not melt in her hand. “How come you aren’t asleep?” She asked before she put the first square of chocolate into her mouth enjoying the taste of it as it begun to melt on her tongue knowing that he was exhausted enough that he should have been passed out in his hammock like the rest of the men were but instead he was sitting sharing his chocolate with her.

Jason leant back allowing his weary body to relax back into the netting of the seat as he rolled his head to the side that he was facing Mandy. “I tried but just couldn’t. I keep going over our mission then what we saw today… What about you?” He did not want to go into details but he knew that she would understand what he meant.

Mandy nodded softly before she swallowed the first piece of chocolate. “My Mom, actually.”

The answer surprised Jason as he knew very little about the woman that bought Mandy into the world except from what he had learned in the days after Alana’s passing, and he had sensed the disdain back then but there was something different this time, it was in Mandy’s tone, and the melancholy did not go unnoticed. “Yeah?” He was not sure whether to press or not so he tried to keep his tone as neutral as possible.

“Yeah.” Mandy shifted as a shiver ran up her spine. “I was thinking about how she made me feel at times and how I did not understand those feelings at the time but looking back I can identify them clearly now.”

Jason felt like he needed to supply Mandy with a lot more chocolate than he had but he was not going to stop her from sharing as it was clear that she was rattled by something but he was not sure if it was something that happened while she had been at the evacuation centre or if there was another reason to the trip down memory lane and the subsequent re-examining of those memories.

“I could see the fear in those kids today. It was so visceral, so clear. It was unmistakable.” The words spilled from Mandy’s mouth without a chance to filter them. “And the sense of abandonment that I felt for them bought it all back.” She paused and swallowed thickly avoiding Jason’s eyes as she did not want to look into them. “I know that those children were not abandoned by choice but because of the force of Mother Nature but they still do not have anyone.” She was not sure if she was making any sense but she was not bothered to be logical or detailed as she was exhausted and her head was full of things that she had not thought about in years.

Jason was lost as he was not sure how all of the pieces connected together, how what Mandy had seen in those kids related back to her mother, but he was sure he was going to find out as she was about as unfiltered as she got.

“I have known that fear, felt it, and I recall several times when I was just as young as those children wondering if my Mom was going to come back for me, or hell even come back at all to get me in whatever hellhole she had stashed me in while she was off pulling one scam or another.” The admission flowed from her until her shoulders were hunched inward and she drew a steadying breath before she picked up another square of chocolate and popped it into her mouth.

There was something else that was gnawing at Mandy, Jason knew there was but he just could not pinpoint it which was unsettling to him. “There is something weighing on you, something else.” He knew it would either cause her to open up to him or shut down but it was a risk he was willing to take.

Mandy chewed the chocolate slowly foregoing letting it melt on her tongue before she swallowed it down. “I have spent my life running away from anything that came remotely close to settling down, spent the last ten, fifteen, years burying myself in my work and for what? I go home to nothing, no one, and I repeat the pattern over and over. One day I am not going to have my work and then what will I be left with? Nothing. No one.”

“You have a family Mandy, might not exactly be the one you thought you would have or the one you would have chosen but you have a family and you are never going to be alone, I can promise you that. All you have to do is look around you right now and know that it does not just end with the people here because there are so many more people at home waiting for all of us.” Jason did not know if his words were the right ones but he wanted her to know she was loved and that she did have a family, a slight crazy family but family nonetheless. “But you still have time to find someone if that is what you want.”

Mandy smiled softly trying to ignore the way Jason’s words made her heart flutter and her body feel warm as she took a few moments to look around the plane knowing that he was right even if she was not meant to get invested with those she worked with but then again Bravo was not the typical team either. She would go to the ends of the earth for each and every one of them and she knew they would do the same for her. She turned back to him and met his eyes with hers full of gratefulness, “thank you”.

“How about you and I go and get some tacos once we land? I’m starving and I am not eating another MRE until I am absolutely desperate enough that I have too.” Jason offered knowing that he would not be able to sleep until he had eaten.

Mandy raised an eyebrow at him before she realised something. “You don’t have any food at your house do you?” It would not surprise her as she had found herself stocking his fridge a few times in the past few months with things other than beer which he always seemed to have a constant supply of, or they had eaten out or she had cooked a meal for them to enjoy at her house on the odd occasion.

“You know me to well.” Jason shook his head as visiting the grocery store was almost always the last thing on his mind when he was at home especially in the last few months as they had been spun up a lot on mission after mission. “My treat.”

Mandy considered it for a few moments while she ate another piece of chocolate. “I could eat some tacos.” She had to agree with Jason that she was over eating MRE’s herself so she could understand where he and the rest of the guys were coming from.

“Good.” Jason smiled as he draped his arm over her shoulder letting her lean into him. “You looked pretty good with that baby girl in your arms, content.” He whispered softly meaning every word wanting her to believe in herself and have confidence in her interactions with children although he wished it had not bought up what seemed to be bad memories from her childhood for her.

Mandy smiled softly as she was not ready to admit that it felt nice to see that she had a maternal side and show it however she was grateful for Jason’s observation because she had felt content despite how flustered she felt by all of it. She let out a soft hum as she settled into his side knowing that it would take a bit longer before she could pack all of the memories that had been unpacked back into the box that she stored then in the deepest darkest corner of her mind but somehow she was okay with that. She exhaled slowly letting herself relax into Jason feeling as he relaxed against her as she let her mind wonder back to those fifteen children that she had spent the afternoon with as she wondered what their lives will be like.


	9. Lieutenant Commander, Sir!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small announcement: this is the last part of the series that will be Cross- posted on FF so if you read any of my work on that other site then I’m sorry but I am truly over the negativity on FF.

**_ Lieutenant Commander, Sir! – Eric Blackburn _ **

There were many things that Eric Blackburn had come to expect during his days on base when Bravo were in the middle of a joint training operation with the remaining DEVGRU teams that were not deployed and spun up. What he expected was the occasional flaring of tempers resulting in raised voices at competing ideas, the competitiveness naturally coming out between the men, and that it was going to be a very long day of training. What he did not expect was someone running towards him and yelling ‘Lieutenant Commander, Sir!’ whilst frantically waving a single piece of paper in the air.

Eric raised a questioning eyebrow as he lowered his sunglasses and looked over the rim of them as a small cloud of dust flew up around him as the young man slid to a stop in front of him having to bend over to catch his breath as he practically shoved the crumpled up piece of paper into his hand. Eric took the piece of paper, unfurled it between his fingers, read over the note before he looked up just in time to see the young man straighten up. “Is this correct?” Eric asked knowing he had a decision to make.

“Yes, Lieutenant Commander, Sir.” The young man answered breathlessly.

“Dismissed.” Eric waved his hand that was holding the piece of paper flippantly and the young man did not hesitate to jog away as Eric looked back down at the information that the piece of paper contained.

Lisa had been watching Eric and Bravo simultaneously although neither well as her attention was split. “Everything okay?” She asked as she watched the monitor to see as Bravo and Alpha breached the centre room just in time to get contacted and engage.

“Make them run through it again, I want it flawless Lisa.” Eric ordered knowing that Lisa understood what was at stake, and although it was unfair to leave Lisa to corral a bunch of testosterone filled Seals she was more than capable as she had more than enough experience. Right now Eric had a pressing matter to attend too, one that he would have to do instead of pulling his men away from the training exercise, as he folded up the piece of already crinkled paper and slipped it into his pocket.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

A minute shiver always ran through Eric’s spine when he stepped foot inside any sterile environment as the smell of antiseptic filled his nose and his eyes always found the one neon light that seemed to flicker constantly as he had spent far to much time in buildings that always looked all the same in to many countries to count. Eric blew out a breath as he got to the emergency department desk and waited to be helped knowing that he had sped across town without getting pulled over but it was imperative that he got to the hospital as soon as he could given the scant information that the piece of paper he had been given contained.

“I am here for Mikey, Michael, Hayes. I got a message that he was here receiving treatment.” Eric spoke immediately as the receptionist began typing away. The angst he felt was overwhelming as it was Jason’s boy in the hospital and he had no idea what had happened or what condition he was in; and he knew there would be hell to pay for keeping it from Jason but he could not leave the training exercise otherwise Bravo would not be signed off although Eric had kept that snippet of information to himself.

“Let me take you through to him. The doctors are just waiting on a couple of test results but they should be in shortly.” A nurse had overheard the conversation and stepped in smiling at him although it went unnoticed as his focus was on getting to Mikey.

Eric followed closely behind the nurse until she stopped at a door. “We put him in here because he is a minor. The doctor will be in shortly but you can wait with him. He is pretty banged up but I have to say he is incredibly brave.” The nurse spoke softly and Eric was aghast at the lack of security especially considering that Mikey was a minor as he had not been asked for any credentials or even who he was but he was not about to bring that up given how close he was to finally seeing Mikey.

“Thank you.” Eric’s words sounded more dismissive than he had meant them to be but his priority was getting to Mikey so that the boy would not be alone for any longer especially with Emma out of town for a week and Jason still training. Eric barely paused a second before he was through the door.

“Uncle Eric!” Mikey was surprised to see him as he expected his Dad before he winced and pressed his arm tighter into his own body as he eased himself back down on the gurney.

“Hi Mikey. Your Dad was in the middle of training so I came instead. What to tell me what happened and how you are feeling?” Eric was already undertaking a visual assessment having noticed the way he was keeping his arm tightly against his body which indicated some sort of rib injury before he saw the black eye that was already swollen shut and the large cut that had been closed and set with butterfly bandages to his forehead, and he had his wrist wrapped tightly.

“Met the wall at hockey practise, we were having a practise match with the older kids and it got a bit out of hand.” Mikey reported succinctly although he was light on the details deliberately.

Eric sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his hand down on Mikey’s knee wondering when the boy had grown up but it was not hard to pinpoint the exact moment as it had been a devastating and blindsiding one however now was not the time to bring it up. “What’s the damage kid? I would prefer to hear it from you instead of the doctor first.” He had no doubt that Mikey was in pain as he could see how pale he was and how uncomfortable he looked.

“No concussion but still have a headache, I should probably thank my helmet for that. Sprained my wrist when I went down, think I reached out behind me to try and catch myself without succeeding. The doctor said I have a black eye but it should clear up within a week, maybe two, so it must look pretty bad, I know it is swollen shut already. They got a couple of x-rays and are waiting for them but they think I have broken a rib, maybe bruised a couple too. All I know is it hurts, now I know what Dad and all of my uncles mean when they say they hurt really badly. Everything is sore though, it was a hard hit.” Mikey repeated what the doctor had already told him as he had asked questions throughout the course of his examination before he stopped and took a breath which had him grimacing as breathing was sheer agony.

Eric nodded knowing exactly what having broken ribs felt like and it was certainly not something he wished on anyone else, especially not someone young like Mikey. “You are going to need to spend a lot of time resting so you can heal properly Mikey.”

Mikey nodded softly but quickly regretted it as it made his headache grow. “Dad and Emma are going to freak out when they find out and see me.” That was one of his concerns, actually the one that was the most overwhelming to him at present.

Eric was amazed but not surprised at Mikey’s thinking, at his concern, but it was so reminiscent of Alana that it shocked him although it should not have as he knew that Mikey was very much like her. “They will just be relieved that you are okay, that you will heal. Plus I will get you settled at home before you see them so that should help.” He winked making Mikey laugh but it was quickly overtaken by a sharp wince of pain. “Have they given you anything for the pain?” He asked concerned at his pain levels.

“I refused.” Mikey supplied softly as he focused on breathing through the pain that he felt.

That right there is all Jason, Eric thought recalling all of the times that he had to order Jason to take the pain medication that had been prescribed to him, and there had been a few times when Eric himself had stabbed Jason with a morphine injector. “You want to tell me why?” Eric took the same approach with Mikey that he would and had with Jason many times.

Mikey managed to get his pain under control once more before he looked back up at Eric. “I hate the way it makes me feel.” Mikey paused letting his eyes wonder around the room before he looked back at Eric. “Emma is going to be coming home tonight, she wanted to make sure she was back before the team dinner that we are having. She is going to freak out, probably worse than Dad will.” He was really concerned about Emma’s reaction as he knew she felt like it was her responsibility to keep him safe.

Before Eric could reply the door opened and the doctor walked in. Eric stood up and turned to greet the doctor who quickly stopped and looked up at him. “Eric Blackburn, I am one of his emergency contacts.” Eric knew he was after a late night conversation with Jason after Alana had died. Eric knew that he, Emma, Mandy, Lisa and Naima were all listed if they could not get a hold of Jason along with their home base as he knew they would get a message through to Eric if it was required which was what had occurred today.

“Doctor Erin Andrews.” The two shook hands.

“How is Mikey doing?” Eric asked wanting to get Mikey home and settled before Jason, Emma or any of the team got to the house.

“Unfortunately it is just as we suspected. Young Mr Hayes has broken one rib and has severe bruising to all of his ribs down his left side.” Doctor Andrews produced an actual film copy of the x-ray and held it up as he pointed out the distinct break. “He will need to take it easy and come back in to have it checked before he even thinks about resuming any sporting activities.”

“When can I take him home?” Eric asked knowing there was nothing more that could be done for Mikey by any of the medical staff that could not be done by any of them at home.

“I am going to get his discharge papers ready now, and I will have someone run down to get a prescription filled for some pain medication as well.” Doctor Andrews addressed Eric before he turned to Mikey. “Now, I want you to take it easy for the next few weeks, no heavy lifting or quick movements.”

“Thank you.” Mikey spoke softly already moving to push himself upright so that he could move to sit on the edge of the bed as the doctor was already leaving the room.

“Hold up right there. You may as well stay where you are until we are ready to leave.” Eric knew that public hospitals were not the quickest when it came to getting discharge papers and prescriptions filled so they could have a wee wait ahead of them.

“Need to change into my clothes, I don’t really want to wear this hospital gown home.” Mikey knew his bag had been bought in with him and he knew he had a clean shirt and a pair of sweatpants inside of it.

Eric really could not argue with Mikey on wanting to get changed. “Alright, alright, but I will grab your clothes, you just take it nice and slow.”

“Side pocket, there are fresh ones in there.” Mikey gritted his teeth as he shifted to the edge of the bed so that his feet were just touching the floor before he stood up swallowing the gasp that threatened to escape from his lips at the swell of pain that shot through him before he shuffled into the attached bathroom. It seemed pointless to get dressed without showering when he needed one as he had been hot and sweaty.

Eric could already see the wheels turning in Mikey’s head. “Take a quick shower if you want to Mikey but make sure you don’t get that bandage wet. We can take the brace off while you shower though.” He stood in the doorway to the bathroom once he had put the fresh clothes that included boxers down on the corner of the vanity. “I will be right out here so yell out if you need anything.” He told him before he stepped out and pulled the door so that it was almost closed as he heard the small shower turn on as the water begun to run.

Eric tiredly scrubbed his hand over his face before he looked at his wrist watch as he tried to decide what to do as he sat down on the edge of the bed again while listening out in case Mikey called him. He knew that it was pizza and beer night at Jason’s as he had been invited along and he did not want to spoil that but he did not want Jason to panic either which Mikey had made pretty clear that he would once he got a look at him nor did he want to leave him in the dark as he already had. His priority was Mikey, getting him home and settled, the rest he would deal with later, although he did pull out his phone and sent a quick but rather ambiguous text.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa smiled broadly as she watched as Bravo walked over to her having been flawless and beaten every other team that had been training alongside them, not that it was a competition or anything as that had been stressed to them multiple times before they had even started. “Well done gentlemen.” Lisa praised them once they reached her, forming a loose semi-circle around her as they each grabbed a bottle of ice cold water from the cooler at her feet.

“Where’s Blackburn?” Jason asked surprised that he was nowhere within sight of them or the training set up.

“Left me to corral you lot.” Lisa teased before she sobered. “Not sure what is going on but he got a message and took off.”

“Damn, he missed us kicking ass and taking names.” Sonny was quick to respond sensing Lisa’s unease and trying to distract her from it.

“Yeah, we did!” Clay smirked knowing they had executed things about as perfectly as they could be in a training simulation.

Lisa smiled and shook her head knowing she should not encourage them, god knows their egos were big enough already at times. “Go stow your gear, get cleaned up and wait in your team room. Brass will be by in thirty five minutes.” She felt as Cerb nudged her hand that was hanging at her side and she immediately began scratching his ear making him tilt his head into her hand before Brock whistled for Cerb which had him moving away.

Jason could not shake the feeling that something was wrong as he had never known Eric to just leave without any explanation. He waited until his men were at least a few feet away before he looked at Lisa. “He didn’t say anything?”

“No, he didn’t. I am going to see what I can find out as soon as I get packed up here.” Lisa was unsettled like Jason was at the abruptness of Eric’s departure but she was better at hiding it. “I will meet you in the team room before the Brass moves through.” It was her way of saying she would share anything that she found out with him.

Jason relented knowing that Lisa would share whatever it was that she found. “Alright, I want to know everything that you find.” He stated before he moved to catch up with his men leaving Lisa to finish packing up before she went off on her own search.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Mikey winced loudly as he shifted pulling himself away from where he was leant up against the door of Eric’s car making Eric look over as he bought the car to a stop outside of Jason’s house. “Take it nice and slow Mikey, no need to rush yourself.” Eric cautioned as he turned off the engine and took off his seatbelt seeing that Mandy was already walking towards them.

Mikey resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at Eric childishly before he saw Mandy reach the door and open it up. “Uncle Eric, you called Mandy?” Mikey asked looking from her to him.

“Yeah, I did kiddo. Come on let us get you settled inside.” Eric said as he got out of the car. There was a reason that Eric had texted Mandy to meet her at Jason’s and not just because she was good with Mikey but because she was often a calming presence for Jason whether he would admit it or not.

Mandy looked at Eric as her eyes widened slightly at the state of Mikey as Eric’s text telling her to meet him at Jason’s house was vague, and she was going to need one of them to explain what had happened but for now her priority was getting him settled inside. “Couch or bed?” Mandy asked already mentally deliberating on which would be better for him as she had no knowledge of her injuries as she stepped back as he shifted around in the seat until he could practically slide out of the seat and onto his feet.

“I kind of want to go to bed.” The pain and discomfort were taking their toll as he pulled his arm tighter to support his broken and bruised ribs.

“Probably a good idea, we can get an ice pack on your eye and those ribs.” Eric had hoisted Mikey’s hockey bag onto his shoulder watching as Mandy made herself comfortable at Mikey’s side letting him rest against her as they slowly made it up the path with Eric rushing ahead to open the door with Mikey’s house key.

Mandy sent a look Eric’s way as she passed by with Mikey who was moving as though he had aged about ninety years all at once.

“I will be through in a minute with the ice packs and a bottle of water for you. Do you want to try having some pain medication?” Eric closed the door behind him before he put the heavy bag down having quickly learned just how opposed to pain medication Mikey was – it almost rivalled Clay’s reluctance to have it and was most certainly on par with Jason’s – which was why he knew it was not his place to force it upon him.

Mikey paused and glanced back over his shoulder at Eric but even that made him ache. “No, no pain medication. I hate how it makes me feel.” He was adamant.

“Alright, alright, let’s just get you into bed right now.” Mandy rubbed her hand down his arm gently as he began walking again and she remained at his side still wondering what the hell had happened as she catalogued the injuries she could see and the ones that she suspected him having had enough experience to from working with the men of Bravo.

Eric sighed, scrubbed his fingers through his beard, and he rolled his shoulders trying to loosen some of the tension before he made his way into the kitchen to get the items that he said he would.

Mandy stopped when Mikey did seeing him reach out his hand to press it against his desk. “I am just going to pull back the blankets for you then I will give you a few minutes if you want to get changed.” She told him as she stepped away from his side and did as she said she would.

“Not getting changed, not yet anyway.” Mikey was adamant that he was not going to spend the night curled up in his bed. “Just want to lay down for a while and rest.” He suddenly felt very tired.

Mandy smiled as she made her way back across to him and knelt down in front of him. “Let’s get your shoes off at least.” She had already figured out that he was hurting even trying to remain upright and she knew that bending over would be completely out of the question.

Mikey let Mandy undo the knots that Eric had tied his shoe laces into before he raised each foot letting her slip the sneakers off his feet. “Dad and Emma are going to worry.” He said quietly still worried about their reactions.

Mandy stood up to her full height and placed her hand on Mikey’s cheek letting her thumb run along the very edge of the black eye that still appeared to be darkening. “I am worried about you to Mikey and Eric still has to fill me in on what happened to you. I hate to break it to you but they are going to worry about you whether you want them to or not. Now, come on, lets get you into bed so you can rest for a little bit.” She let her hand drop away from his face before she began to guide him across his room and over to his bed where she had also propped up his pillows to help ease the pressure off of his ribs.

Mikey smiled sadly as he gently eased himself down onto the bed and back into the pillows as he had already figured out that the pain would be constant for a fair while no matter how gently he moved. “You know Uncle Eric called you over here to deal with Dad.” He knew as soon as he saw Mandy that Eric would have gotten her there to help her Dad.

Mandy smiled as she had figured it out as soon as she had seen Eric pull up with Mikey before she sat down on the edge of the bed being careful not to jar him at all. “Look at it this way I am just a bit earlier for pizza and beer night.” She kept her tone light deliberately before she sobered a little as she could see the worry even through the pain that he was in. “Your Dad is a pretty amazing man Mikey but he is going to fret over you, probably get Trent to examine you, but just remember it is because he wants to make sure you really are okay. Let him fuss in his own Jason way.” She finished seeing Mikey smile and give her a small tired nod as he somehow managed to snuggle down and find a semi comfortable position.

Eric had caught the last few sentences from Mandy as he stood outside of Mikey’s bedroom, and he waited until she was finished speaking before he stepped into the room. “Here we go kiddo.” Eric handed the ice packs to Mandy who took them then he put the bottle of water down on his bedside table before he went over and pulled the curtains to keep the late afternoon sun from streaming in.

Mandy cautiously placed the two ice packs down on Mikey, the first going over his eye while the second was tucked between his arms and his rib cage. “Okay?” She asked softly suspecting that he would be asleep fairly soon given the fact that he already had his eyes closed. She would hazard a guess that the pain was exhausting him especially considering how adamant he was not to have any medication to help with the pain.

“Yeah, thanks.” Mikey mumbled tiredly as his exhaustion was suddenly overwhelming to him.

Mandy stood up and brushed her hand over his hair before she bent down and kissed his forehead. “We will be in the kitchen, call out if you need anything.” If anyone asked she would not be able to tell them why she had done what she had but she knew Eric was the only one who had witnessed it and would not ask her. “Get some rest.” She said as she pulled the blanket over top of him before she followed Eric out of the bedroom.

Mikey smiled as he felt the warmth of the blanket envelop him along with the tiredness despite the pain that was radiating everywhere. There was something comforting and familiar about Mandy’s actions but he did not have time to think about that as he succumbed to his own body’s need to sleep.

Eric walked back into the kitchen seeing that the coffee pot he had put on was almost done brewing as he had figured they would need it but he could feel Mandy’s eyes on him as she followed him into the kitchen. “Coffee?” He asked already moving around to get two mugs out.

Mandy slid into the barstool watching as Eric moved around the kitchen. What she wanted was something stronger than coffee but it was all that was on offer so she would take it. “I want to know what happened Eric.” It was not a question but a demand that she expected to be met.

Eric turned around and lent against the edge of the kitchen counter as he waited for the pot to finish knowing that Mandy had held out longer than he would have if the roles had been reversed. “I could not pull Jason from the training exercise so when the note came through I left to go and get Mikey from the hospital.” He paused knowing she was waiting for him to explain how Mikey got his injuries not how he became the one to get him from the hospital. “Hockey practise got a bit rough and he met the wall, his words.”

Mandy was sure that Jason would have something to say to the hockey coach once he found out and made sure that Mikey was really alright but she had a few things she would like to say of her own. “And the damage?” She prompted wanting to confirm what she was already thinking.

“One broken and a few bruised ribs. No concussion. Sprained wrist. He got lucky really.” Eric was sure it would be enough to send Jason into a tailspin and then there was Emma. “He is more concerned with how Jason and Emma are going to react when they get home and find out.” The coffee maker beeped and Eric quickly turned around to fill both of their mugs.

“I can’t say I blame him.” Mandy agreed with Mikey that the two would react badly to him being hurt but she knew it was out of love.

“Yeah.” Eric agreed putting the mug of coffee in front of Mandy before he took a mouthful from his own knowing that all they could do was wait and check in on Mikey while they did.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Lisa had never been stonewalled so much in her life in the short space of thirty minutes as no one would tell her anything. She was frustrated and the worry had only grown as every time she tried calling Eric’s phone she was sent to voicemail. She was grumbling under her breath as she entered Bravo’s team room seeing the guys all freshly dressed and ready to get off base for the day.

“Did you find out anything?” Jason asked immediately seeing that it was only Lisa that had entered.

Lisa shook her head, her frustration evident. “No one will tell me anything, and I can’t get a hold of him either.” She informed Jason knowing that the others were listening even as they got their bags together.

“What do you want to do brother?” Ray knew that Jason was worried about Eric’s abrupt departure.

Jason sighed and shook his head. “Nothing, he will come to us if there is anything we need to know. As soon as we are dismissed, pizza and beer night at my place.” He had to have faith that Eric would come to him if there was something wrong and until he knew different then he would continue with their evening plans.

“Em’s coming home tonight isn’t she Jason?” Lisa knew that Jason was still worried despite what he was saying as she changed subject to Emma’s return.

Jason smiled just as he always did at the mere mention of his kids. “Yeah, she was hoping to be back by the time we were finished.” He glanced at his watch having seen a text message sent earlier in the day letting him know that she was on the road.

“Do you need me to pick Mikey up?” Lisa asked knowing that Mikey had hockey practise.

“He was going to get a ride home from one of the Mom’s.” Jason answered although he was grateful for the offer. It amazed him how Lisa managed to keep Mikey and Emma’s schedules straight as he struggled even with having it written down for him. “He should be just about home by now.”

“Okay.” Lisa nodded before the door opened and had them all standing at attention as various members of the Brass were led in.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason frowned as he pulled into his own driveway as he saw Eric’s car parked up in front of his house before he noticed that Mandy’s car was parked across the road. He got out of the truck quickly, closing the door and locking it before he took a look at his guys who all seemed to realise what he had. “What the hell?” Jason muttered under his breath as he made his way across the lawn and up to the front door but before he could put his key into the lock the door opened.

Mandy closed the door behind her although she left it open a crack as she walked out of Mikey’s room after checking on him seeing that he was still asleep but he still looked to be in pain. She stopped and lent back against the wall beside the door before she pulled her hair up into a messy bun tying it with the hair tie that was wrapped around her wrist before she heard the unmistakable sound of Jason’s truck pulling into the driveway followed by the familiar noises of the rest of Bravo pulling up and parking on the street. She braced herself before she pushed herself off of the wall and began to walk down the hall towards the front door wanting to make sure that he and the guys were as quiet as they could be as she did not want Mikey woken.

Mandy practically had to run the last few feet to get to the door before Jason did and she opened it before he got the key into the lock seeing the concern on his face as he was frowning while the rest of the team ambled up behind him.

“Mandy?” Jason was worried as she stepped aside and let him and the others in. It was strange being let into your own house, Jason thought.

Mandy hated the worry that she could hear in Jason’s voice and that she could see on his face. “Kitchen. Eric is in there.” Mandy directed to all of them knowing that they all wanted to know what was going on. However instead of following everyone to the kitchen she broke off and returned to Mikey’s room wanting to check on him and make sure that he had stayed asleep. She also wanted to make sure he had not somehow managed to have the ice packs fall off as he had done a few times previous.

Eric stood in the kitchen sipping on his third cup of coffee as he lent against the edge of the counter top as he tried to work out the best way to tell Jason that Mikey was hurt but all he had come up with was that it was best to be upfront.

“Eric? What is going on?” Jason asked knowing that his men and Lisa were flanking him although he was not quite sure where Mandy had ended up.

Ray reached out and placed his hand on Jason’s shoulder seeing the tension that was radiating from him although he had to admit he wanted answers to as it was not like their Lieutenant Commander to desert them and then appear looking worried in Jason’s kitchen.

Eric swallowed as he resisted the urge to run his fingers through his beard. “Jason.”

Jason felt the pit in his stomach form and his first thought was that he was about to receive bad news, news that he could not possibly survive. “Who?” He asked hearing the fear in his own voice and felt as his brothers moved closer to him in unity and support.

The fear in Jason’s voice had Eric doubting the way he had gone about things but what had been done was what had to be. “It’s Mikey, I had to go and get him from the hospital.” Rip off the band aid, Eric decided it was the best approach although he swore he saw Jason pale.

“Hospital? Why the hell was he at the hospital? Why didn’t I know?” Jason was rambling and he was aware of it but he swore his heart was about to beat out of his chest as his panic increased monumentally.

Trent stepped in knowing that Jason was panicking despite how controlled he seemed but he had worked with him long enough to know his tells. “Jase, let’s get you sitting down brother and then Eric will explain.” Trent’s tone meant it was not up for discussion as he wanted to know why Mikey had been taken to the hospital, what he needed treatment for, and where he was now as he had not seen him. Between him and Ray, they managed to get Jason sitting down at the dining table.

It was a role reversal and Eric did not like it one bit as answers were being demanded from him by Bravo but he knew that he had to tell Jason everything although he was smart enough to keep his distance. “Mikey got hurt at hockey practise, clashed with a couple of players and the wall from what I understand.” He began knowing that Mikey would have to fill in some of the blanks once he was feeling up to it.

“How badly?” Trent asked seeing that Sonny was clutching his fists tightly and made a mental note to have Clay and Lisa corral the Texan as he was sure that he was planning on going out and finding the hockey players that were involved before he looked at Jason who looked increasingly pale. What they all needed to know was what state Mikey was in, and they needed to know immediately.

“Hospital discharged him.” Eric put his mug down as the coffee and conversation was souring his stomach. “A nasty laceration to his head but no concussion, a wrist sprain, a broken rib and some bruised.” He reported succinctly.

Sonny resisted the urge to beat his fists down on the table but that was only because Clay had reached out and put his hand on his forearm. “Seems like excessive force for a hockey practise.” There was that deadly calm tone that freaked everyone out but Sonny did not care. Eric wanted to glare at Sonny but stopped short as it was a fair point.

“Where is he?” Jason asked already making a move to stand wanting, needing, to see his son.

“I’m here Dad.” Mikey shuffled slowly into the kitchen with Mandy following closely behind him with her arms out ready to catch him if he fell as he had woken when he heard his Dad’s truck pull into the driveway. It was engrained in him to listen out for his Dad coming home even whilst asleep as he always loved seeing his Dad no matter the hour that he got in whether he was getting home from working or not. He had already been easing himself out from under the blanket and out of bed when Mandy returned and she had been unable to convince him to stay put. “Eric and Mandy took good care of me Dad. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Mikey reassured him as he moved over until he was standing in front of him.

“Sit down before you fall down Mikey.” Trent had already pulled out the chair closest to Jason and pointed at it for him to sit in.

Mikey gingerly eased himself down onto the chair holding his arm tighter against his ribs as they ached fiercely, and as soon as he was seated Cerb was sitting in front of him with his head rested down on his lap.

Jason fought the instinctual reaction to pull Mikey into his lap and cuddle him to his chest knowing that his growing son would not appreciate it. “Trent, take a look at him.” Jason ordered trusting Trent’s medical evaluation especially since he had not heard it from the doctor who treated Mikey himself.

Mandy could understand Jason’s need to have Trent check Mikey over wishing she could have convinced him to remain in bed but Mikey could be just as stubborn as Jason, the only difference when he was being stubborn was that he was soft spoken and polite unlike Jason who was all gruff. “I put an ice pack on his ribs and his eye while he was resting. He is refusing any painkillers though.” Mandy told Trent as he moved to kneel in front of Mikey without upsetting Cerb while she moved to stand behind Jason seeing how tense he was.

“It’s worse than it looks.” Mikey huffed as Trent began gently examining his face first checking for breaks.

“Pfft… broken and bruised ribs hurt dude.” Clay responded immediately having had more than his fair share of broken and bruised ribs before, after all they were a common hazard of the job, and he knew how much they hurt.

Mikey winced and pulled away from Trent as he poked, prodded and palpated at his broken and bruised ribs which had Jason in protective Dad mode. “Don’t hurt him!” Jason growled but was quickly consoled as Mandy rested her hand on his shoulder.

“I am fine Dad. Trent just hit a particularly tender spot, that’s all.” Mikey immediately set out to reassure Jason knowing that he was worried, and if he was this bad then Emma was going to freak out a lot worse.

Jason leaned forward, reached out and placed his hand on the back of Mikey’s neck although he made sure not to apply any pressure. “It’s okay not to be fine kiddo. And you can take some pain pills to help with the pain.”

Mikey let his gaze from his one open eye flicker down to Cerb before he looked back up at his Dad. “Don’t want to feel worse.” He admitted knowing that his Dad would understand as the last few times he had been left feeling worse by a variety of pain medicines that he had tried.

Jason barely withheld the sigh that wanted to leave his lips as he knew Mikey did not react well to pain medication, that it left him feeling pretty sick whether he had eaten or not, and he was more miserable than he had been before he had taken them. “I know.” It was a truly awful feeling as a parent not to be able to take your child’s pain away. “Trent?” He questioned seeing as Trent had moved away from Mikey seemingly finished with his exam.

“I would suggest continuing to ice the eye and the ribs for tonight at least. You know the drill with injured ribs just as well as any of us.” Trent would not give Mikey any medication against his will so the only things he could suggest were ice and rest although it did not appease himself. Trent hated these times when he could not make someone feel better instead having to let their bodies heal themselves.

Mikey shifted minutely in the chair but it was not missed by any of them. “Do you want to go back and lie down in your bed with Cerb? Or find a comfortable position of the couch?” Brock asked beating them all to it knowing that Cerb would be sticking close to Mikey until they had to leave.

Mikey hesitated as he still felt really tired and he had been comfortable lying in his bed snuggled beneath the covers with a stack of pillows beneath him. “Is it okay if I go back to bed for a while?” He asked timidly grimacing as a sharp pain emitted from his ribs as he moved the wrong way.

Jason hated that Mikey felt the need to ask if he could. “Come on.” He stood up then held his hand out for Mikey helping him up carefully as he could see the pain that he was in. Jason was still not finished with Eric, and he was unsure of how Mandy had come into the equation but he would find out however his first priority was his son. Mikey shuffled slowly back towards his bedroom with Jason following after him and Cerb racing ahead of them both.

Ray waited until he was sure that Jason and Mikey were out of ear shot before he turned his attention back to Eric. “Why wasn’t Jason informed?” It was the question that was on everyone’s mind including Jason’s but Ray wanted to hear the answer first.

“I could not pull him out of the training exercise. It was a decision I made.” Eric kept his answer short.

“You didn’t think to tell me?” Lisa asked shocked at the turn of events and worried at how terrible Mikey looked.

“My first priority was Mikey.” Eric was not backing down or elaborating knowing that he and Jason would talk in depth about it at some point.

Mandy felt the need to calm the simmering tension that was in the room. “Mikey is worried.” She stated knowing that the statement would shift everyone’s attention away from Eric for the moment.

“What the hell is he worried for?” Sonny growled tightening his fists again and making no effort to hide them.

Mandy moved and took the seat that Jason had been sitting in. “He’s worried about how Jason and Emma will react. He kept saying that they were going to freak out.”

Ray sighed softly and leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling before he looked back at Mandy because of course that was something that Mikey would be concerned about. “I can’t say I blame them. I mean look at the state he is in.” Ray could easily put himself in Jason’s shoes knowing that if RJ had been hospitalised and released in the same or a similar condition to Mikey that he would be worried too, after all it was a part of being a parent.

“Is Emma going to freak out more because he is hurt or because he is hurt and she was not here when it happened so she could not be the one with him?” Brock asked softly hoping for more of an insight as he knew how deeply Emma cared and felt she needed to protect Jason and Mikey, that they were her responsibility ever since Alana’s tragic death.

“She worries, we all know she does. I would hazard a guess that she will feel guiltier that she was not there for him but either way she is going to be worried.” Lisa was not entirely sure but she figured she was close. “The best thing we can do is stay close; make sure that they are all okay.” It went without saying but she was going to reiterate it anyway.

“Who is going to tell her what happened? We should tell her before she sees him.” Clay asked as he looked around the table knowing that none of them would tell her until she got home as the last thing they wanted was for her to panic and get into an accident.

“We will let Jason, and if he is not up to it, then one of us will.” Ray answered hoping that Emma would take the news best from Jason but he would willingly talk to her if he was not up to it or if he was tending to Mikey. “Trent, any medication that you can think of that won’t give Mikey an adverse reaction?”

Trent wished that there was something but he also knew that Mikey had tried most mild pain relievers and they all pretty much had the same result. “Wish I could but he has been through all of the generic ones and they all leave him unwell. I could try him on something stronger but I don’t like the chances of it not making him feel unwell, if anything I think he would feel worse. The best I can do is monitor his pain for now and try other methods to help ease it.” The sense of helplessness washed over Trent once more but he ignored it the best he could as now was not the time to wilt.

“Some food should help with that. I will order the food soon.” Lisa knew that they were all hungry but she wanted the food to still be hot when Emma arrived knowing how much she wanted to eat with them.

“I would still like to know what the hell happened.” Sonny’s voice had not lost any of the anger that was lacing it despite how eerily calm he seemed which was scary as hell. “A practise should not leave him looking like he went ten rounds with Tyson.”

Eric sighed as he decided not to withhold any more information. “No one was with him, no one went to the hospital with him. However we cannot go after a coach or a bunch of kids that play hockey.” There was a clear warning in his words that was definitely directed at Sonny.

It was a fair assessment made by Sonny. “Let him rest for a bit then we will see if we can get some more details out of him.” Ray tended to agree with Sonny that it appeared as though excessive force had been used as usually practises were minimal contact however it seemed as though that rule had been forgotten completely.

Mandy looked down the hall in the direction that Jason had trailed after Mikey and Cerb knowing it had been a fair few minutes since they had left, and she had this overwhelming urge to check on them. She did not fight the urge as she murmured she was going to check on them as she stood and headed down the hall leaving everyone to continue talking.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason smiled although it did nothing to cover up his worry as he watched as Cerb crawled up and curled into Mikey’s side once he was settled in the bed with the blanket pulled up over him, and the ice packs were back in place.

“Dad, sit down.” Mikey hated the worry he could see on his Dad’s face, hated that he had been the cause of it.

Jason sat down gently on the edge of the bed making sure that he did not jostle him to much as he took in his son’s physical state more closely. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there bud. I didn’t know.” He needed to apologise as he never wanted Mikey or Emma to feel that he was not there for them ever.

“I know you didn’t, it’s okay really Dad. We have the plan in place for that exact situation.” Mikey gave Jason a small smile knowing that ultimately the plan that had been devised had worked as it had been Uncle Eric to pick him up and bring him home.

Jason wondered when his little boy had grown up, had matured, and he couldn’t help but feel like he had missed it, that he was only seeing it now. “I am still sorry.” There were a lot of things that Jason was sorry for with many of them being beyond his control.

“Don’t be mad at Uncle Eric, please Dad.” Mikey murmured hating if him getting injured and having to go to the hospital for treatment caused problems.

Jason let his eyes flicker around the room before he looked back at Mikey. “I’m… I wish he would have told me, that’s all bud.” It was the truth and Mikey made him realise that because the plan had worked, Mikey had not been alone for very long and he had been bought home safely.

Mikey nodded but he quickly regretted it as his headache bloomed making him rest him head back against the mountain of pillows that were propping him up before he inhaled and exhaled as softly as he could but it was not without pain. “I don’t know what you were doing on base, kind of figure you cannot tell me either which is okay, but what I do know is that if Uncle Eric felt he could have spared you then he would have.”

Jason chuckled lightly. “When did you get so smart?” The parallels were striking to Jason as the similarities between Mikey and Alana were absolutely incredible, sometimes it felt as if he was speaking to her.

Mikey’s small smile widened before he let his good eye close as it was good to see some of the tension ease as he let Jason’s question go unanswered. “Dad?” There was something in Mikey’s voice that set Jason on edge and even Cerb moved with the change.

“Yeah bud?” Jason still resisted the urge to pull Mikey into his arms and cradle him in his lap as he looked at his son seeing that despite having his eyes closed he was not relaxed.

“I need you to make sure Emma is okay. She is going to be worried and mad.” Mikey’s concern was for everyone else but himself.

“Emma’s not going to be mad bud, worried, yes, but not mad.” Jason knew that his answer would not pacify Mikey at all but he knew his daughter and knew that the overriding emotion would be worry. “I will make sure she is okay Mikey, I promise. She is going to be home soon.” He glanced at his watch as he had already calculated her estimated time of arrival based on the time she had messaged him and the driving time, and he had even factored in variables that could hinder her progression allowing for margins. Of course Mikey was worried about Emma and how she would react, and that made Jason both proud and a little dismayed. “For now, get some rest. I will come and check on you in a little bit.” Jason stood up and leaned over Mikey as he made sure he was covered by the blanket before he pressed a kiss to the top of his head then headed for the door.

“Love you Dad.” Mikey mumbled tiredly making Jason smile as he turned around and lent against the doorframe.

“I love you too Mikey.” Jason could not make himself move as he watched as Mikey’s breathing evened out as he fell into a light sleep even though it was clear to see the pain that he was in and the way his body remained slightly tense as his hand remained in place keeping the ice pack against his ribs.

Jason glanced over his shoulder at the sound of light footsteps making their way towards him just in time to see Mandy stop and stand just off to the side behind him as she placed his hand in the centre of his back between his shoulder blades.

Mandy looked over Jason’s shoulder to see that Mikey had fallen back asleep with Cerb curled comfortably into his side. “How are you doing?” She made sure to keep her voice soft as the last thing she wanted to do was wake Mikey or make Jason go on the defensive.

Jason exhaled softly as he kept his eyes on Mikey. “Thank you for being here with him, taking care of him.” He had no doubt that Mandy would have taken care of Mikey as only she could.

“That’s not what I asked Jason.” Mandy had felt how his muscles had tensed beneath her hand deciding to push Jason instead of letting it go.

Jason glanced back over his shoulder for a few seconds to steal a peek at Mandy before he turned his attention back to Mikey as the blanket rustled as he stretched out then stopped. “I’m… still trying to figure that out.” It was as honest as he could be as a part of him still felt the residual panic that was coursing through him but most of all he was relieved that Mikey was home in front of him. “I should have been there with him at the hospital, it should have been me.”

Mandy was surprised at Jason’s answer as it was not hard to see the confliction of emotions that was going on inside of him but that was only because she knew him so well and knew the signs to look out for. “You’re here now, that is what matters.” It was the truth although she could understand that he felt he should have been at the hospital.

The sound of a car pulling into the drive interrupted their conversation and Jason knew without even seeing that it was Emma arriving home. Jason hesitated as he went to push himself off of the doorframe that he was lent against as he looked back at Mikey.

“I will stay with him, keep watch, while you go and talk to Emma.” Mandy offered having seen and felt the hesitation from Jason.

Jason shook his head and let out another sigh feeling as though it was all he ever seemed to do lately. “No, I mean thanks, but he wouldn’t want us watching over him. Cerb will get our attention if need be, and I will check on him. Now I just have to work out the best way to tell Em without her panicking.” He knew how he had reacted so he could only imagine how Emma was going to react.

“Okay.” Mandy nodded as she let her hand drop away from his back before she stepped back and began making her way back towards the kitchen knowing that Jason was a few short footsteps behind her.

Jason stopped by the front door seeing that the team were milling about between the kitchen and the lounge, and he could hear that Davis was ordering enough pizza that there would most certainly be leftovers but cold pizza never hurt anyone. And like Mandy had done Jason retched open the door before Emma could even get her key anywhere near the lock.

“Dad!” Emma dropped her duffel bag to the ground and hugged him tightly before stepping back as she could feel the tension radiating from him. “Is everything and everyone okay?” She asked immediately as she shuffled into the house doing a quick head count and visual inspection of everyone noticing the way they were all watching her closely. “Wait, where’s Mikey?” She asked not seeing her little brother or Cerb anywhere as she turned back to Jason who had followed after her once he had shut the door.

“He’s fine Em, a little banged up but okay.” Jason kept his voice soft deliberately seeing the worry increase as he held his hands up, palms out, in an effort to keep her calm which was failing miserably.

Emma felt as though her stomach was trying to crawl up her throat as the nausea hit her so abruptly that she barely had a chance to swallow it back down but she managed it. She whirled around heading for her baby brother’s bedroom wanting to see him for herself knowing that it was the only logical place he would be.

“Em!” Jason called softly already following after her seeing that his brothers were all itching to help but were unsure how too but there was no stopping his daughter, not when she had her mind set on something. “He’s asleep, let him rest.” He caught up with her quickly but did not try to stop her from seeing Mikey.

Emma stopped in the doorway of Mikey’s room seeing that Cerb had his head raised before he rested it back down after making sure that it was okay before she looked at Mikey seeing the severely swollen black eye and the large bandaged laceration to his head however she suspected that was not the worst of it. She turned back to her Dad knowing that he was just behind her. “What happened?” Suddenly Emma was wishing that she had not gone on her trip as she asked softly with her eyes returning back to her brother.

Jason cleared his throat wishing he had time to gather more details but he did not. “It happened at hockey practise; Eric went and got him from the hospital.” Emma looked at him with a look that said ‘please explain’ and he knew that it would raise questions. “We were in the middle of a training exercise and Eric got word, I did not know anything had happened until I got home. Look Em, he is going to be sore as he has a broken rib and more that are bruised.”

Emma winced as she could vividly recall all of the times her Dad and the rest of her extended chosen family had complained or commented (because Seals never complained, yeah right) about how painful and uncomfortable broken and bruised ribs were. She brushed her hand through her hair as she began to think about the next few days and weeks, about what Mikey would need, and how to make sure he did not extend the healing process by doing something stupid. “Okay.” It was half hearted but she suddenly felt overwhelmed and all the stress that had melted away during her week away suddenly returned, only heavier.

Jason reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder before he gently tugged her towards him into a hug knowing she needed one. “I love you Em.” He whispered before he kissed the crown of her head knowing she would need some time to process things. “Why don’t you go and have a shower before dinner arrives? You’ve been driving most of the day. Take a few minutes for yourself.” He knew she needed a few moments alone and a shower was the perfect excuse.

Emma nodded into his shoulder as her hands clutched at the back of his shirt. “Yeah okay.” She paused as she swallowed down her emotions. “I love you too Dad.” She whispered holding on for a few moments longer before she let go and stepped back turning to look at Mikey again. She heard as Jason walked away but she did not look at him instead letting her eyes linger over Mikey as she stopped herself from walking into his room as she did not want to disturb him. Eventually she pulled herself away, disappearing into her own bedroom to have the shower and get changed as her Dad had suggested.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Eric watched as Jason returned to the kitchen and sat down at the table before he ran his hands over his face tiredly.

“Pizza will be here shortly.” Lisa walked over and placed a beer down in front of Jason knowing he deserved it. “Where’s Em?” She asked knowing they all wanted the answer to that question as Emma had not followed after him.

Jason let his hands drop to the table and then wrap around the beer bottle. “Thanks. She is taking a shower seeing she has been in the car most of the afternoon.”

“How did she take it?” Ray asked as he took his seat next to Jason as they all migrated back into the kitchen and to Jason.

Jason shrugged as Emma had reacted better than he had thought she would but then again he knew that she would not show her worry if she could hide it. “She will have more questions, want more answers but Mikey will have to provide those.” He looked back down the hall before he raised the bottle to his lips and took a mouthful. “How long before the pizza arrives?” He wanted to know how long Mikey had before he would have to get him up so that he could eat.

Lisa smiled softly as she looked at her phone for the time. “Approximately thirty minutes, probably over ordered but cold pizza never hurt anyone.” She had ordered a lot of pizzas and a lot of sides knowing that they did not gorge themselves often but it was the kind of night for pizza and sides with a splattering of beer. Plus the men could eat a hell of a lot especially after a day full of training which was exhausting in its own right.

“That will give Mikey more time to sleep, and let Emma relax a little bit.” Clay pointed out easily knowing that sleep helped a person to feel better, and surely a hot shower and a change of clothes would be good for Emma considering she had been on the road most of the day and had come home to her little brother hurt.

Sonny shook his head and followed Jason’s line of sight. “The princess going to be okay?” He asked knowing that Jason had struggled to try and get Emma to stress less and help in whatever way he could even if his best intentions did not always work out.

“She’s strong Sonny, and we are all here to help.” Trent was quick to point out knowing that Emma was incredibly strong in different ways to them. He knew that they were all willing to help wherever they could and that they would spend the next few days and weeks staying close when they were not required on base.

Eric had not moved from the kitchen but he was watching and listening closely knowing that Trent was right about all of it. Truth was getting that vague note that Mikey was in hospital had terrified him because he knew that Jason could not bare to lose anyone else but he also did not want Mikey to be injured. But what he did know was that they would all rally around as it was one of their strengths.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Mikey groaned as he pushed the blanket off of him and then rubbed his fist over his eye that was not bruised and swollen before he let his hand drop down to his lap feeling as Cerb nudged at his thigh. Mikey inhaled softly withholding the wince at the pain that erupted through his ribs and stole his breath which made Cerb whine softly. “It’s alright boy.” He reassured Cerb before he shuffled to the edge of the bed seeing that it had only been about forty minutes since he had returned to bed.

Mikey shivered as he got out of the bed and very slowly pulled a sweater over his t-shirt which he quickly regretted as the movement jarred his aching ribs before he slowly shuffled out with Cerb keeping pace at his side. He leant against the wall as he reached the lounge needing to take a rest just before Cerb announced their presence with a soft bark.

Emma’s eyes widened as she saw Mikey leant up against the wall with his hand clutched against his ribs looking incredibly pale as she scrambled off of the couch where she had been curled up against her Dad listening to everyone chat as they sipped on their drinks and made her way over to him. “Hi Mikey.” She smiled softly as she approached him cautiously taking in more of his state.

“Emma!” Mikey smiled widely happy to see his sister home as he had missed her although he made no effort to move from the wall.

Emma blinked heavily a couple of times in an effort to blink away the tears that suddenly sprung up before she did her upmost to steel herself as she did not want anyone to see the sudden onset of emotion in her as she took in the state of Mikey. “How are you feeling?” She asked as she resisted reaching out to help him walk over to the couch as he had already waved her off.

Mikey resisted rolling his eyes as he was sure it would make his headache worse knowing his sister was concerned, and that they were being watched. “I’m okay Emmi.” The use of the name that he called her when he was younger bought a smile to her lips. “A little sore but okay.”

Trent stood up and moved closer to Mikey and Emma wanting to get him sat down as his breathing looked a little laboured but it was understandable however he still wanted to check him over again. “Let’s get you sat down kiddo.” Up close he could see the pain that Mikey was doing his best to hide and he could see the conflicting emotions that had surfaced within Emma although he was not going to draw attention to either things.

Mikey nodded and gritted his teeth as he pushed himself off of the wall and straightened himself up before he began shuffling once more towards the couch where Jason was sitting watching as he paid no attention to the way Emma and Trent were hovering. “When’s dinner?” He asked as he eased himself down onto the couch then let himself lean against his Dad who draped his arm loosely over his shoulders as he was hungry.

“When was the last you ate Mikey?” Eric had to admit he had not even thought about getting Mikey some food when he was at the hospital or when he had first got him home as he watched as Emma sat down on the other side of Jason and curled back into him just as she was before although she now had her head on his shoulder facing Mikey who was being examined by Trent who was knelt down in front of him.

Mikey was preoccupied with what Trent was doing or rather where his fingers were palpating as well as keeping his face as neutral as possible as he did not want Emma to panic any more than she already was. “Don’t know.” Mikey admitted absentmindedly as he flinched as Trent hit a particularly tender spot on the side of his ribs.

“Sorry kiddo.” Trent murmured softly hating that he had caused Mikey’s pain to increase just as the doorbell rang.

Lisa waved Sonny down as he went to stand up as she had already gotten up to answer the door knowing that it was the food arriving.

Emma frowned at Mikey’s answer wondering if he had taken extra food with him like she usually made sure he did when he had hockey practise straight after school knowing it went late but she also knew not to badger him about it now. “Is he okay Trent?” She asked instead seeing as Trent finished his exam and moved away, picking up his own beer before he reclaimed his seat.

“Nothing has shifted Emma. Food and rest is what he needs.” Trent responded still concerned about Mikey’s ribs especially without being able to see the x-ray of his ribs but nothing had shifted which he was pleased about.

“Well I can help with the food.” Lisa carefully balanced ten jumbo pizza boxes and two large bags of sides which included fries, garlic bread, onion rings, mozzarella sticks and buffalo wings as she made her way over to the coffee table that she had already put a towel across so that the table did not get coated by the grease from the boxes.

“Jeez Lisa.” Brock was smiling as he quickly took the boxes of pizza from her and set them down on the table freeing her to do the same with the sides.

“Cold pizza never hurt anyone.” Lisa refused to admit she over ordered but she knew that she was starving and surmised that everyone else would be just before she smacked Sonny’s hand that was already digging into one of the bags in search of one of the trays of buffalo wings. “No wait.” She told him off as he rubbed the back of his hand.

“You marked me!” Sonny showed the red mark on the back of his hand as he pouted although he would never admit that he had.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Lisa teased before she turned her attention to Mikey. “What do you want honey?” She asked wanting to get him a plate first as he still looked exhausted especially with the way he was resting against Jason cuddled into his side. If she did not know better then she would almost have been surprised that he had not stayed asleep.

Mikey smiled softly, tiredly. “Is there Hawaiian?” He asked as his stomach rumbled.

“Of course there is! Want some fries too?” Lisa asked already opening the box that contained one of the Hawaiian pizzas that she had ordered, grateful that the boxes had been marked, before she put two slices on the plate.

“Yes please.” Mikey answered as he shifted closer to Jason having to readjust himself to ease the pressure that was on his ribs watching as Lisa pulled one of the boxes of chips out and added a handful to his plate before she handed it to him. “Thank you.” He rested the plate down on the couch, and began eating slowly watching as everyone else moved to get their own pizza and sides although Mandy got a plate for Jason knowing what he favoured as he was stuck between Emma and Mikey and not moving any time soon.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Jason walked back into the lounge after checking on Mikey for the umpteenth time to find that the only person left was Eric who had switched back to coffee.

“Mikey sleeping okay?” Eric asked as he watched Jason sit back down on the couch where he had spent most of the night with Mikey and Emma against up until Emma had convinced Mikey to go back to bed before she came back to curl up with him again. It had taken a while to convince all of the guys, Lisa and Mandy to go home for the night but they had eventually trickled out after more reassurances, and a plan to all reconvene in the morning for brunch.

Jason rolled his shoulders feeling the tension that was lingering even as he relaxed back into the cushions of the couch before he looked over at Eric. “Yeah, Emma is asleep in the chair in his room. She must have moved in there after I checked on him last.” He had hesitated on whether he should make Emma go back to her own bed but he knew that she would eventually migrate back to Mikey’s room if he did. The worry that was plaguing Emma would not go away, and if she took comfort in being close to Mikey then he was not going to ruin that.

Eric smiled softly knowing that the bond that Emma and Mikey had was something that was truly special and one that was unbreakable. “You have two absolutely amazing kids there Jason.” He had watched the way Emma cared for Mikey while he did his upmost to allay her fears even though it was fruitless as she was going to worry about him just as she worried about Jason and the rest of the team.

Jason hummed softly feeling the tiredness set in but he also knew that he would spend the remainder of the night checking on both of his kids. “Yeah, I do. I got lucky. I have Alana to thank for that.” God, he missed her, and times like these only made him miss her more.

“Don’t exclude yourself from that Jason. Those kids are yours and Alana’s, and believe me when I say that they are more like you then you even realise.” There was a heaviness that Eric felt in the air as he had spent most of the evening trying to figure out if he could have done things differently, how he could have. Listening to Jason exclude himself made Eric blanch as those kids had his strength and he had kept them together after Alana’s tragic and sudden death even when he had struggled with his own grief; for better or worse the bond between Emma and Mikey was strengthened in the wake of Alana’s death because of the way Jason dealt with things.

“I should have said it earlier Eric, thank you, I know you were looking out for Mikey today.” Jason was grateful that at least someone he trusted had been there for Mikey despite how much he wished it had been him given that he was home.

“I was looking out for you and the team today too. Today was not just a training exercise Jason, it was a test, for what I am still not quite sure of but I am going to figure it out. If I could have pulled you out then I would have, I want you to know that.” Eric admitted quietly wishing he had all of the information but he knew it would only be a matter of time however none of that was important. What was important was that the Hayes’ family were truly okay, that Mikey healed, and that Emma and Jason did not run themselves into the ground worrying about and taking care of him.

Jason did know and he nodded in agreeance. “Why did you bring Mandy here earlier? Mikey told me that she met you here.” He had no idea why he asked that but it was something that was on his mind.

Eric chuckled softly as he finished his cup of coffee that was now lukewarm. “Mandy is good with Mikey, and someone needed to be here if I had to return to base.” He left out that she was also good at calming Jason. “Anything you need otherwise I am going to head out so you can get some sleep yourself?” He asked relieved that Jason did not seem mad at him for not informing him straight away or for getting Mandy to come over earlier to help with Mikey.

“Nah, I’m good.” Jason had no intention of sleeping but there was nothing that any of them could do.

Eric pushed himself up to his feet then walked into the kitchen to put his mug in the dishwasher before he headed for the front door intending to show himself out. “I will check in tomorrow.” He told Jason who was making his way over to meet him.

“Night Eric.” Jason opened the door for him commanding officer.

“Night Jason.” Eric took his leave, and only turned back to look at the house once he was at his car.

Jason shut and locked the door once Eric was halfway down the path before he meandered back to the couch and laid down.

**_SEAL TEAM_ **

Eric knew that a stack of paperwork would be waiting for him to do and he did not feel like going home so instead he found himself back on base sitting at his desk but he had to admit his mind was elsewhere as he lent back in his chair and scrubbed his hand over his face tiredly as his mind continuously drifted to how the decisions he made affected others. It was a burden that he bared often but usually he did not have to make decisions like the one he had to at home.

“I figured I would find you here.” Mandy stood in the doorway having found herself aimlessly walking around her house with a feeling that something was off and it was something that she could exactly put her finger off which is why she found herself on base wondering the halls.

Eric startled as he looked up at Mandy and let his pen drop down onto the stack of paperwork in front of him. “I thought you would be home sleeping.” He replied as she wondered into his office and sat down at the chair in front of his desk.

“I could say the same for you Eric.” Mandy curled her feet up beneath her as she looked at the stack of paperwork on his desk. She had been standing for a few minutes in the doorway watching him and she was surprised that he had not noticed her after all he was Navy and it was engrained in them to notice everything. “What is going on in that head of yours?”

Eric looked past Mandy out towards the hall before he looked at her knowing that it was late and the halls were empty so no one was around to hear them converse. “Maybe I am tired of having to make decisions for everyone else Mandy.”

Mandy was not surprised at Eric’s admission although she wished she could say she was. “Jason put the plan in place for the exact reason that happened today. Someone he knows and trusts was with Mikey when he and Emma could not be. You went along with the plan Eric.” Everyone knew of the plan that Jason had made after Alana’s death, and they knew their roles in the plan if needed.

Eric pulled open his bottom desk drawer, reached in then pulled out two glasses and a bottle of whiskey and sat them on his desk. He quickly poured two glasses of whiskey before he handed one of them to Mandy then took his own.

“The choices we make weigh heavily on us, some more than others, Eric.” Mandy palmed the glass in her hand knowing it was not often Eric broke out the bottom drawer whiskey.

Eric scoffed lightly at Mandy’s words despite how true they were. “All I could think about when I received that note was that Jason could not bare to lose anyone else, neither can Emma.”

Mandy agreed wholeheartedly with Eric but he also knew that they could not live like that. “Eric, Mikey is safe at home, a little banged up, but safe with Jason and Emma. The family is okay.” She assured him with ease.

“It doesn’t always make it easier, knowing.” Eric sipped his whiskey knowing that there would not be any paperwork done.

“No, it doesn’t.” Mandy agreed before she took a drink from her glass knowing that they would sit for a while longer while Eric tried to get right with the decision he had made today.

Eric regarded Mandy’s presence silently as he continued to sip on the whiskey in his glass knowing that she would not press any more as he fought the battle that was waging within him over what was right and what was wrong but it was a battle that never seemed to be won even when everything turned out okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it’s done. Another collection is finished. A massive thank you to everyone who has read and commented!


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